If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Money can't
buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Deja
Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bs before.
Psychiatrists say
that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're
it.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad
check.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
It
has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in
rats.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
If you are
given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
COROLLARY: If you
are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
The
trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates
how difficult it was.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is
simply to serve as a warning to others.
Paul's Law: You can't fall off
the floor.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains,
because the average man can see better than he can think.
Paranoids
are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if
everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
A diplomat is someone who
can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your
way.
Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where
you left them to where you can't find them.
Law of Probability
Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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