15 Unforseen Consequences of the Millennium Bug

15.  IRS demands a hundred years of interest from stunned taxpayers.

14.  "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" song gets stuck in infinite loop.

13.  At the stroke of midnight, Windows 99 turns back into DOS 1.0, the Pentium V turns back into an 8088, and the Handsome User is left holding a beautiful glass mouse.

12.  Internet Movie Database now lists "1901: A Space Odyssey."

11.  Residents of Indiana have to figure out if they're off by 999 years, 364 days and 23 hours, or 1000 years and one hour(since we don't change our clocks).

10.  Bob Dole's age erroneously listed with only 2 digits.

9.  Mel Brooks's "2000 year old man" skit stops being funny...Oops, too late.

8.  Sales of Coca Cola jumps drastically after original cocaine-laden formula becomes legal again.

7.  Software engineers point out that since computers think it's almost 1900, we technically have to "party like it's 1899," which, frankly, doesn't seem like much fun.

6.  Microsoft declares the year 1900 to be the new standard of the "Gatesian" calendar.

5.  Jesus shows up late for His second coming, blames it on COBOL programmers.

4.  Computers temporarily fooled into thinking Strom Thurmond is only 103.

3.  First Top 5 List of the year?  "Reasons No One Would Ever Assassinate President McKinley."

2.  Using a computerized adoption service, Michael Jackson mistakenly takes home some octogenarians.

and the Number 1 Unforeseen Consequence of the "Millennium Bug"...

1.  Unexpected demand for COBOL programmers results in severe understaffing of fast-food restaurants.