...During your initial consultation he tries to sell you
Amway.
...He tells you that his last good case was a
"Budweiser."
...When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they
high-five each other.
...He picks the jury by playing
"duck-duck-goose."
...During the trial you catch him playing his
Gameboy.
...He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
...A
prison guard is shaving your head.
...Every couple of minutes he
yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a
shot.
...He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
...He
places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
...He begins
closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
...He keeps
citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
...`Just before trial
starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer,
right?"
...Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little
quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
...The sign in front of
his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
...Whenever his
objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
...He giggles
every time he hears the word "briefs."
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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