Translations about what men are REALLY saying.
I'M GOING
FISHING
Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and
stand by a stream with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete
safety.
IT'S A GUY THING
Translated: There is no rational thought
pattern connected with it, and you have no chance of making it
logical.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated: Why isn't it already
on the table?
UH HUH, SURE HONEY or YES
DEAR
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated: I have no
idea how it works.
TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO
HARD
Translated: I can't hear the game over the vacuum
cleaner.
THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR
Translated: Are you still
talking?
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS
Translated: I remember the
theme song to 'F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the
vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your
birthday.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE
ROSES.
Translated: The girl selling them on the corner was a real
babe.
OH,DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG
DEAL.
Translated: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death
before I admit I'm hurt.
HEY I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M
DOING
Translated: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
WHAT
DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated: What did you catch me at?
I HEARD
YOU.
Translated: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so you don't spend the next
three days yelling at me.
YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE
ELSE.
Translated: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it
could be worse.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
Translated: Oh, God, please
don't try on another outfit, I'm starving.
I'M NOT LOST, I KNOW
EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated: No one will ever see us alive
again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Translated: I make the mess, she
cleans it up.
[Mother Shiptons Prophecy] [Poetry]
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