AZURELL AKA Andrea Papka
If you would like to skip a rather long and very personal story and just go visit Azurell's home page feel free to click this link... don't worry... I won't be dissappointed as I wrote most of this as a form of therapy for me and not so much for everyone else.
Well,... Fate came through for Magnus and he saw her again later that day and said "hi"... she didn't seem to want to talk and walked away. Magnus felt a little sad... but then thought... "Oh well... if she's going to be THAT way..."
The next day saw our hero in a much better way... he was sitting in the cafeteria with some friends talking when, upon looking around, he saw this girl yet again. It had to be a miracle... but then he remembered the way that she ahd treated him and decided that it wasn't worth it... he vowed that he would say hi if he saw her the next day though.
Well.. she left.. but was back within the hour... and left again...
The next day Magnus saw this strange girl AGAIN... well.. after taking a few moments to set his stuff down he went back and asked her why she was stalking him. It was enough to break the ice and soon they were talking happily.
Magnus then took the girl over and introduced her to his friends, some of who were instantly smitten with her as was he.
The competition was fierce.. but Magnus was determined to win the heart of this woman. He tried his hardest... he was his most charming self.. and then he got smart and decided to just be himself.
Well.. after time it all came clear and the young lady and he became affectionate toward one another.
Soon Magnus and Azurell had "the talk" and parted ways to come to seperate decisions about what to do regarding their mutual feelings.
After a day or two she called him over and told him that she was agreeable to the idea of their becoming involved and Magnus was ecstatic. It was a very happy moment for him, and yet a very tense one. He had been single for a very long time and wasn't exactally sure how to react to this new situation.
Well... for several weeks things seemed alright... there were occasional differences.. but all was ok. The weeks progressed to months and the dissagreements got worse.
Finally... on the day that began a very big local event things culminated. Azurell and Magnus had not communcated clearly what was going on and how things were going to work about getting to this event. Delays occurred... stress grew... Magnus' attempt to relieve the stress just made things worse... and then... a fight... She wrote him a note explaining
that his attempting to relieve the stress was making it worse.. he tried to explain that when she wrote notes instead of talking it made him feel put out... she got upset.. he got upset.. things were going badly.....
That night she dissappearred...
Well... the story goes like this...
Once upon a time Magnus was working at the store he used to work at when this girl came in with some friends of hers and asked for some things that he didn't have.
Magnus talked to this girl for a few minutes (she was very attractive and strangely familiar) and then she left.
A few days later Magnus still could not get this girl out of his head and then he saw her about to board an elevator at the school that he attended. He was late for class so didn't have time to say anything to her
and trusted to fate to put them back in the vicinity of each other.
Magnus wandered in vain... searching... thinking he heard her in his encampment but not finding her in the tent they were to share. Saddened, upset and soaked with rain, he went to bed and slept.
The next day she appearred... she seemed odd to him... she was distracted and distant.. and then... after a walk with a friend of Magnus' she broke off the relationship with him.
Magnus was at a loss. He wasn't sure how to react...
He was in a state of shock. What had happened?.. until the day before all things had seemed alright... there had been some stress... and they hadn't been communicating as much as they should have... but ... this?!?!
Magnus left... he went... he brooded... he kept turning things over and over in his mind... again and again he went over everything. He tried to figure it out... He talked to his friends.. he tried everything to make sense of it...
Just a week before, this same girl who had broken up with him, had told him that she had fallen in love with him. And, truth be told, he had fallen for her as well... though he had not told her because he wasn't sure of it. When she left him it became the most apparent thing in life...
Well... Magnus wanted to clear this up... he wanted to be back with the woman that he was in love with. So he took her aside and tried to communicate his feeling with her... it didn't work well and she turned away from him and left him hurt and confused. His heart felt as if it had just been filled with molten lead and he was lost... well... he spent the next night or two wallowing in self-pity
and drinking more than he should... playing more Tablero than was healthy and trying to make sense of the situation while also trying to put it out of his head.
After a few days they again talked... it seemed as if she had more need to hate him than she had love for him. This ate at him for weeks... he still wanted to be her friend... he was still in love with her... but he had the idea that she didn't want anything to do with him. Her new male and her seemed happy together... and Magnus was sad..... very sad... and very depressed.
Finally... after a month or more had gone by Magnus and the Azurell talked... they aired out most (if not all) of the major problems that they had had and decided to at least be friends. To this day Magnus is still in love with her and doesn't quite know how to act toward her... but he is learning... and they are communicating more than they did before...
Magnus has hopes that someday things will be different... that someday they will be able to talk with each other with no reservations.... but until that day comes... he is going to hold on to his friedship with her as best he knows how.
Friendship is more important than anything...
Epilogue:
It has been quite some time since I wrote the above account of the series of events. Since then Azurell and the male that she left me for have broken things off. She asked me to share an apartment with her and I accepted on the conditions that she tell me when I was being an asshole and she doesn't get offended if I tell her that she is being a bitch. We have lived together for a month now. She asked me to move out the other day. She hadn't been keeping up on her end of the bargain and therefore I guess I have been doing things that are pissing her off. It's interesting that she is the only one who finds me difficult to talk with. She has yet to tell me what I have been doing that bothers her (with the exception of my habit of making bad puns during movies) and so we haven't been able to work things out to her satisfaction. I also haven't always been telling her about things she does that bother me but, so far, I am not as upset as she obviously is. Though she would like me to move out and I don't want to be living in a place that I am not welcome in I cannot move out for at least two months (hopefully not longer than that) so we are kind of stuck with each other for at least that long. Maybe in that time we can learn to talk with each other. I don't know.
I have also come to the realization that I don't want to get back into a relationship with her. She is not the kind of woman that I am looking for and she has too many things that she needs to get over before things could ever be part of anyone's life. When she learns to love herself she will be ready to be loved, but not until then.
So... now it has been almost a year since I moved into the apartment that she invited me to. It became apparent that my two month goal was not reachable. Unfortunate in one way... yet fortunate in another. In January our apartment was burglarized. The culprit was obviously (from the evidence) someone that we both knew. Little did I know that it was a neighbor of ours and someone that I had known for enough years to develop an amount of trust in. Azurell (hereafter referred to as "The Evil One") also knew him and hung out with him a great deal. It was his house that she called the police from after the burglary occurred since I was at work. Several people have informed me that she has confided in them that she opened the door and let him in to steal our stuff (with the understanding that she would get most of my stuff and all of her stuff back) and when I got too close to the truth of the situation, our stuff mysteriously returned. I asked her several times about where it came from and who the suspects were to which she answered that there were no suspects and the police had just "found" it... Finally, after getting ahold of the officer on the case, I found that it had been our neighbor, that the officer had taken her over to reclaim HER stuff, that he had no knowledge of the return of my items, and that she had lied to me time and time again. She moved from this apartment in March of this year ('98) and I do my very best to ignore her existance. She is puzzled as to why I don't answer her when she talks at me and why, when it is neccessary for me to say something to her it is summed up in two words. Gee, go figure. However, tonight or very soon, I will have to sit her down with the guy who broke in here and we will all have to talk. They have a lot of explaining to do. I have talked with him and he has told me (contrary to what she said) that she never mentioned the items that were still missing to him. He, as well, has inferred that he was let into the apartment. So, as of soon, we may be hearing of her exploites in the barry place. Who knows..... End Epilogue The Second. (8/13/98)
Epilogue the Third
It has been quite some time since the incidents mentioned above. Shortly after the incidents above, I stopped considering that the entity previously mentioned was a human being. Since that time, it has simply been known to me as "Evil". Not, mind you a nameless, faceless evil. On the contrary, one that has a very recognizable face although it has no other name to me than Evil.
More recently, it sent me an email whos purpose seemed to have hinted that it wanted me to remove this page, however that may only have been my interpretation of it.
I am not, under normal circumstances, one to hold a grudge. I don't feel that I hold a grudge even in this case. I simply feel that when a person's trust and honesty are raped to the extent that mine were, that would indicate that the rapist in question could, in no way, be human.
I have still, in the years since the events described, received no reparation of any sort. No admission of guilt without excuse. No monetary recompense. No apology.
I think that sums up the situation pretty neatly.
End Epilogue the Third. (10/06/01)
Friends
Take me home...