04-02-98
no longer do i smile at the quiet buzzing of the bees
no more do i awake with your name on my lips,
your scent in my hair
but rather a silent scream, a cry unuttered in the silence of the darkest of night
i am chased by angry, growling creatures, and eaten by foul carrion birds
my light is gone, a broken bulb upon the carpet to cut the feet
i cry myself to sleep
and, on those rare occasions that i do sleep,
i am hunted, fearful, unable to pause in my flight from i know not what
and to where is a mystery as well
all i know is that the stretch is long, deserted,
no signposts to guide my way, no light to lead me
this is a road i have traveled all too frequently in this lifetime,
three times now have i wandered this land,
and each time the walk is a bit longer,
a bit lonelier, a bit sadder
i suppose i should learn, to accept my lot in this life, but i cannot bring myself to do so
i cannot forget all hope, never to dream again,
never to love again
i cannot, you see
for if i do, this life is over
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