It was raining outside. The skies had grown dark and grey and the dampness chilled her to the bone. She just stood there, silently at the window, blankly staring into the distance and seeing nothing. The house was silent. The sound of the rain pounding on the roof was deafening but for her, there was only empty silence. She was lost in overwhelming despair, too far away from her surroundings to notice much of anything.

She raised her hand up to the glass and traced the path of a droplet of rain with her finger. As the raindrop slid down the other side of the window, tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to reach up to brush them away because they just kept coming.

An endless torrent of silent tears. She hated them and herself for not being able to stop them. Taking a deep breath to try and gain control over her emotions she began to shake. She could see her hand shaking where it still rested on the window pane. She couldn’t stop any of it no more then she could stop this from happening.

He was leaving her. There was nothing she could do about it. Having made up his mind, he told her it was over. He told her good-bye. Just like that. He looked right through her as if she weren’t even there.

Her mind screamed with the agony of the loss she felt. Her heart actually ached in her chest. Didn’t he know that love was a gift? You can’t choose who you give it to. You can’t just make yourself feel it any easier than you can stop yourself from feeling it. It was the most precious thing you could ever share with another person. Didn’t he know that? How could it not matter to him?

The questions raced through her mind over and over. They just kept haunting her. How could he just stop? How could he leave her? He loved her, she knew he did. She couldn’t have been wrong….Over and over she tortured herself with questions that would never be answered.

How could he just stop wanting her? How can he walk away? She thought finally she meant something to someone……But there was no one there to care, no one to hold her or comfort her. He was already gone. He never even looked back.

She had no idea how long she stood there, motionless at the window but the day had turned to night and still she remained there. She was afraid to move. Afraid to turn back and face the world without him. How could she go on without knowing he loved her? Everyone needs to be loved by someone or they forget they matter. Everyone needs to be special to someone or they just whither and die, don’t they?

Her body became stiff from standing there so long. Finally, her shoulders sagged in defeat. She had no choice but to give in to it. He was never coming back. Her composure completely gone she sank to the floor. Her silent tears turned to heart-wrenching sobs. Why didn’t anyone want her to love them? Why won’t anyone love her back? What was so wrong with her that no one wanted to keep her?

There had always been something special about the way he made her feel. He made her believe all things possible. He taught her to believe in herself. He had saved her. Her life had been such an empty, hollow place. She had always been forgotten and pushed aside. Before him, she had always been ignored and invisible.

She sat there thinking about what life would feel like without him. What was she going to do? There was nothing left for her without him. She lived for him. For the short time that he had come into her life, the world had become a beautiful place. She began to notice little everyday things that she had always taken for granted.

There was a sudden crash of thunder and a brilliant blue stripe of lightening that tore through the sky. She held her breath for a moment reliving a memory they shared. The rain held so much romance for them. She knew she could never avoid thinking of him when it rained.

She slowly managed to stand up again. Her body aching, her legs shaking from fatigue. She needed to be near him the only way she had left. Silently, without thinking she walked across the room and went out the door.

The rain came down in icy sheets, pelting her like tiny knives but she didn’t care. She wore only a thin night-gown and robe and her feet were bare. She remembered a night not so long ago when he had made love to her in the rain.

They had been caught unexpectedly on a summer night. They had been out in the gardens trying to escape the summer heat and it had turned into a surprise but pleasurable encounter. He had laid her down in the cool damp grass and everything just happened so naturally. She thought of that night often. The sky had burst open in a sudden down pour but they never even noticed. So lost in each other they didn’t even realize the heavens were pouring down upon them.

She ran around the house suddenly desperate to feel him near. She stumbled but kept going. She stopped abruptly when she reached the spot where they had rolled around laughing in the wet grass. Lightening tore apart the sky as she fell to her knees. She cried out one last time as she collapsed.

She didn’t have the will to get up. She pressed her cheek to the grass trying to recall the feeling but now there was only cold. Her hands clutched tightly around the now faded blades, her nails scraping the earth below it. She could do nothing but lie there and weep.

Eventually, she closed her eyes. Her sobs had become just a silent stream of tears once more. Her breathing became less labored. She no longer felt cold. It was odd but she no longer felt anything. She no longer felt the rain beating against her skin. She no longer felt the grass between her fingers. She had gone completely numb.

Her breathing was becoming more and more shallow. She thought it was her sadness consuming her beyond all other things. She didn’t realize, she didn’t know. Would she have forced herself to get up had she known? It was a question that forever would remain unanswered.

As she lay there, alone, in the darkness she let go. She let go of all the pain, all the sadness, all the emptiness. She was so tired, she just wanted to sleep forever.

That was how he found her. Alone, soaked to the skin in her garden. Her body lifeless, pale and cold. He had come back to save her as he had always done before. He came back in the morning knowing that living without her wasn’t living at all. Only, this time, he was too late. He couldn’t save her now, no one could. She had died of a broken heart.