Chapter 3
The Death SPORK

Many a SPORKman died in the creation of the Death SPORK, what Gurk considers his greatest invention. A little known fact is that Gurk killed most of them himself even when they had nothing to do with the construction. His only excuse was, "They were there." The Death SPORK is a two mile by three mile SPORK shaped battlestation with a crew of one-thousand. Gurk is usually found here watching Kung-Fu movies and Japanese animation or creating Mecha for his own fiendish ends. The Death SPORKs weapon systems are the vilest known to man. It contains two-hundred air to surface ballistic SPORK missiles, garrote canons, and SPORK lasers, and many other weapons to vile to mention. It's most deadly weapon is the insidious Spam beam capable of large scale annihilation of species. Usually on a clear night you can see this evil omen of garroteness. Aziz is usually in charge if Gurk is away on his usual binge of madness. People say if you can see the Death SPORK and hear Gurk's maniacal, sadistic laugh they will soon have a Garrote across their throat while they choke on their own rancid blood.

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