.....after laughing your ass off at those jokes, you step onto the elevator once again. "DING! Fourth floor!" the elevator says. This time you step off inot a confrence room where people are sharing embarrasing moments they have had...
Chocolate Milk and the Nose, by Mike McCarthy
It was a normal lunch hour for me. I was sitting with a group of friends in our classroom, talking about "stuff". In our little group was this girl, "Rebecca". Well, she had the BIGGEST zit on her forehead, and it showed! "Janice" came up to us and started talking to a few of my friends. I just sat there drinking my chocolate milk and then "Janice" started making fun of "Rebecca's zit. I know it wasn't nice, because "Rebecca" was my friend, but I couldn't not laugh! Unfortunately, I laughed just as I was swallowing my CHOCOLATE milk and it went flying out my nose and mouth . . . !! . . . all over "Janice's" white shirt! hehehe She got mad, but I told her it was her own fault! hehehe *LOL*
Human Lobster , by Mike McCarthy
Usually, every Thursday nite my mom goes tanning at one of the local hair salons. She has a package and all family members can go in it and use it whenever they want. Well, I was bored the nite my mom went, and noticed I was as white as a ghost and decided to go with her and use it before her. We arrived at the place at 6:55 and I went in and got the lotion and everything on. Now, with the bulbs they have, you are only supposed to be in 20 minutes, 25 max. So, I hop in the bed at 7:00 and lay there basking in the potentially dangerous UV rays thinking, "What the hell . . . might as well die with a tan . . . *LOL*". After awhile I began to sweat profusely, more than I had ever before when I tried it. I thought nothing if it. Well, after a few more minutes, I hopped out and looked at my watch - 7:40!!!! I was in it for fourty minutes!! I quickly dressed and got out and bought a big bottle o' aloe vera gel from Shoppers Drug Mart!! Since then, I have gone every once in awhile and have developed a nice tan, without frying again!! hehehe *LOL*
Couldn't Make It!! , by Mike McCarthy
"Joe Requabulto" and I were biking back from KFC to my house, crossing the highway. Well, I was going too slow, and was going to get over the curb, but instead, my bike didn;t make it, and I stopped at the side of the road. The funny thing is, I could see old ladies five cars back laughing at me!! *LOL
Garage vs. Mike , by Mike McCarthy
One day I was gonna go for a bike ride. As I walked out of my house, I saw that across the street, my neighbors were having a birthday party for some kids, and beside me, my neighbors were playing basketball. Well, I was pushing my bike along, and was about to hop onto it, made it half way on, and hit the side of the garage!! *LOL* I got my pinky finger wedged between some siding, and fell onto the ground!! *LOL* And, it happened just as people were arriving, who are just a few years older than me, at my neighbors to play b-ball . . . I laughed at myself for three blocks of biking!! *LMAO*
Need I say More? , by Mike McCarthy
I got my foot stuck in a garbage can.
Wonder if the Neighbors Heard?! , by Mike McCarthy
Kari was over at my house and in the computer room. She must of been really bored, and noticed the window was open. She decided to play a little joke on me, so, she yelled out the window, "Ohhh . . . Mike . . . you are the best lover I have ever had!" And, "I am SSSOOO horny . . ." Well, my neighbors (who are about eighteen) were outside partying . . . *laughing* . . . imagine my embarrassment!!
Possession , by Mike McCarthy
Suzy Bohanna and I were staying after to school to finish up a home ec project in sewing. I left my sewing machine on, but went to a nearby table to cut out fabric. Well, imagine my surprise when the needle started moving slowly. I got freaked! Then, it was going as fast as it could, and it stopped. I was totally freaked out and thought that this sewing machine was possessed. I had to go to the staffroom anyways to get a teacher, so I creapt into the photocopying room, but the lights were off. I suddenly said something and one of my teachers jumped up and screamed! I think she was a little freaked, too, when I told her about my 'possessed' sewing machine . . . .
If you would like to get up on stage and share your embarrassing moments, fill out this form:
Name of story:
Your story:
What is your name?
E-mail address?
Assembly, by Kari Metcalfe
Well, Mike and I were in assembly. Oh, by the way, my name is Kari Metcalfe. (as if you can't already picture this hilariously) Anyway, the principal Welly (as we call him) decided to jazz up the national anthem "Oh Canada" with a new song. At the time, Mike and I were talking about hookers. Then I got an idea. I started singing "Oh Canada" like a hooker. I would breath heavier and huskily, while trying not to laugh as I pronounced every word eroticly. I didn't think anything of it, but now I sing it every assembly we have. It's now a kind of habit, but only just recently, the teachers started watching me. Mike and I both noticed. So I started flirting with Holly Molly and Mike, trying not to burst into laughter right there. Bye then our homeroom teacher saw me singing and flirting and she had to excuse herself because she was laughing so hard. I'm comical--What can I say?
Various Stories, by Briana Smith aka Tristessa
#1 One day I was on an airplane flying over Wisconsin . . .Wisconsin is famous for producing cheese by the way. So on this day it was very clear out, so I was looking out my window. . . then i decided to look for cheese farms...{think about it...cheese farms?} aren't I smart! #2 You know how frozen concentrate orange juice has that little white plastic ring on the top that you just peel off to open them up??? Well, up untill about three weeks ago, i would get out the can opener and take the stupid lid off that way, not to mention spilling juice everywhere everytime... #3 One day my friend Shannon and I were out sitting on this tree that had fallen down halfway and was leaning at a 45 degree angle. It was about five and a half feet off the ground. So when I slipped off to get down the top of my shirt got stuck on a branch, so I'm hanging there helpless, my shirt is sliding up, my pants are falling down, and I can't do anything about it. My feet are dangling off the side of the tree. And the whole time Shan just laughs at me. Finally she came and helped get me off the tree. #4 I live on a lake, and one day Shannon and i decided to take my little boat out since i can drive it decently. So i get out onto the boat, but can't get it started, so we decided to try to oar it around, Let me tell you the waves were very high this day too. So we get the boat oared out into the middle of the lake, and realize the current is taking us downstream VERY FAST!!! i had forgotten to take the fifty pound motor out of the water, so we were cruising down the lake really fast about to crash into shore. I was just screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs..just a bit panicked... we ended up being able to dock it at someone's house! #5 one time in the park i accidentally clicked and ignored myself, and didn't know it, so i kept posting stuff about fifteen times cause i thought something wasn't working with my computer... #6 one time i started choking on a life-saver...and had a fishbone stuck in my throat...and stapled my finger #7 one time i was trying to do a sitting dive off my dock, and as i was pushing off my swimsuit got caught on a nail and ripped up past my ass my friend, who happened to be a guy was there at the same time!!
#1 One day I was on an airplane flying over Wisconsin . . .Wisconsin is famous for producing cheese by the way. So on this day it was very clear out, so I was looking out my window. . . then i decided to look for cheese farms...{think about it...cheese farms?} aren't I smart!
#2 You know how frozen concentrate orange juice has that little white plastic ring on the top that you just peel off to open them up??? Well, up untill about three weeks ago, i would get out the can opener and take the stupid lid off that way, not to mention spilling juice everywhere everytime...
#3 One day my friend Shannon and I were out sitting on this tree that had fallen down halfway and was leaning at a 45 degree angle. It was about five and a half feet off the ground. So when I slipped off to get down the top of my shirt got stuck on a branch, so I'm hanging there helpless, my shirt is sliding up, my pants are falling down, and I can't do anything about it. My feet are dangling off the side of the tree. And the whole time Shan just laughs at me. Finally she came and helped get me off the tree.
#4 I live on a lake, and one day Shannon and i decided to take my little boat out since i can drive it decently. So i get out onto the boat, but can't get it started, so we decided to try to oar it around, Let me tell you the waves were very high this day too. So we get the boat oared out into the middle of the lake, and realize the current is taking us downstream VERY FAST!!! i had forgotten to take the fifty pound motor out of the water, so we were cruising down the lake really fast about to crash into shore. I was just screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs..just a bit panicked... we ended up being able to dock it at someone's house!
#5 one time in the park i accidentally clicked and ignored myself, and didn't know it, so i kept posting stuff about fifteen times cause i thought something wasn't working with my computer...
#6 one time i started choking on a life-saver...and had a fishbone stuck in my throat...and stapled my finger
#7 one time i was trying to do a sitting dive off my dock, and as i was pushing off my swimsuit got caught on a nail and ripped up past my ass my friend, who happened to be a guy was there at the same time!!
Skiing, by Kari Metcalfe
While on our Grade Eight and Nine ski trips, some of us didn't know how to ski. Kippie and I were the worst. We could barely stand up. Well, I was going up the tow rope with Klunker behind me, and I got off. When I did, the rope swayed and knocked her to the ground. She started getting hit by all the other bars and no one at the bottom of the hill would stop. Then, as soon as I figured Klunker was safe, Kippie came down the top of the hill, ran me over, and plowed into the snow fence! It was hilarious. Mike and Spock came afterward. They were laughing too. After a while, Kippie, Spock and I went up the T-bar. I didn't want to go by myself, so I asked Klunker to come. She objected, but after I assured her it was safe, we started up after Kippie and Spock. There is a halfway point where you can get off, but I was going to follow Kippie to the top. Klunker surprised me by getting off halfway and I had to do a little dance to recover my balance. When I did, and got off at the top, Spock started going down, then me, then Kippie. Kippie hit a jump and tum,bled over on her side, and I went with her. We were choking on snow and water, and Spock couldn't stop himself from laughing. We all got up and *supposidly* went down the hill. I never made it. I was going down and I ran into a tree. Just a little bush, no taller than my knee, but I fell anyways and left my ski halfway up the hill. The other one was off to the side, and it was so icey. After a few frustrated moments, Mike came down the hill, laughing his butt off, and then Kippie and Darren, but I was still stuck. Not to mention me ski poles were stuck in the little bush. After a lond while, I screamed, "I'M WORSE THAN KIPPIE!" which is pretty bad, because she sucks. About 20 minutes later, Mike stopped on the hill and asked, "Are you *still* here?" and burst out laughing. I told him I could manage, and I went down..30 minutes after I fell.
While on our Grade Eight and Nine ski trips, some of us didn't know how to ski. Kippie and I were the worst. We could barely stand up. Well, I was going up the tow rope with Klunker behind me, and I got off. When I did, the rope swayed and knocked her to the ground. She started getting hit by all the other bars and no one at the bottom of the hill would stop. Then, as soon as I figured Klunker was safe, Kippie came down the top of the hill, ran me over, and plowed into the snow fence! It was hilarious. Mike and Spock came afterward. They were laughing too.
After a while, Kippie, Spock and I went up the T-bar. I didn't want to go by myself, so I asked Klunker to come. She objected, but after I assured her it was safe, we started up after Kippie and Spock. There is a halfway point where you can get off, but I was going to follow Kippie to the top. Klunker surprised me by getting off halfway and I had to do a little dance to recover my balance. When I did, and got off at the top, Spock started going down, then me, then Kippie. Kippie hit a jump and tum,bled over on her side, and I went with her. We were choking on snow and water, and Spock couldn't stop himself from laughing.
We all got up and *supposidly* went down the hill. I never made it. I was going down and I ran into a tree. Just a little bush, no taller than my knee, but I fell anyways and left my ski halfway up the hill. The other one was off to the side, and it was so icey. After a few frustrated moments, Mike came down the hill, laughing his butt off, and then Kippie and Darren, but I was still stuck. Not to mention me ski poles were stuck in the little bush. After a lond while, I screamed, "I'M WORSE THAN KIPPIE!" which is pretty bad, because she sucks. About 20 minutes later, Mike stopped on the hill and asked, "Are you *still* here?" and burst out laughing. I told him I could manage, and I went down..30 minutes after I fell.
Shoe stories, by Kari Metcalfe
While shopping in a shoe store with my dad, I ran accross various types of sandals. I was trying on a pair, and my dad became utterly bored. he must have been tierd, so he leaned against a shoe rack. Well, the shoe rack wasn't very stable, and it fell over with a loud crash. All the customers were stairing at us, and I was so embarrased I dragged my dad out of the store. Another time (actually August 20th, 1997) I was trying to break-in my new boots. The boots are leather, and have five inch heels at the back, so walking is a chore!! Anyway, my friend Ashley and I were walking to a corner store not far from my house. (She had almost the same type of shoe) We were walking a long, doing rather well, when these incredibly cute guys walked out of a house. (Actually, one of them wasn't wearing a shirt) Well, Ashley was walking a bit ahead of me, and she stopped. I didn't realize soon enough and tripped over her, continuing to go sprawling across the grass. I was embarrased, but I was *petrified* when I found myself laughing so goofily at the top of my lungs, everyone within a two block radius could hear me.
While shopping in a shoe store with my dad, I ran accross various types of sandals. I was trying on a pair, and my dad became utterly bored. he must have been tierd, so he leaned against a shoe rack. Well, the shoe rack wasn't very stable, and it fell over with a loud crash. All the customers were stairing at us, and I was so embarrased I dragged my dad out of the store.
Another time (actually August 20th, 1997) I was trying to break-in my new boots. The boots are leather, and have five inch heels at the back, so walking is a chore!! Anyway, my friend Ashley and I were walking to a corner store not far from my house. (She had almost the same type of shoe) We were walking a long, doing rather well, when these incredibly cute guys walked out of a house. (Actually, one of them wasn't wearing a shirt) Well, Ashley was walking a bit ahead of me, and she stopped. I didn't realize soon enough and tripped over her, continuing to go sprawling across the grass. I was embarrased, but I was *petrified* when I found myself laughing so goofily at the top of my lungs, everyone within a two block radius could hear me.
The day after I tripped over Ashley, my dad told me we were going to shop for my school supplies. I decided to get it over with, so we went to the store where he works. It just so happens he works at a stationary store, so we went to go buy supplies there. He didn't go to work for a couple hours, so he tried not to attract too much attention. Well, we went to look at binders. I spotted a few my friend Mike had, that were pretty neat, so I picked one up. My dad did too, just to look at it. I remembered that a part of it was detachable, so I took notice not to tip the binder that way. Unfortunately, my dad didn't know that, and he dropped about 1000 sheets of paper, along with plactis sidings, and coils, right onto the floor. It was so embarrasing because he works there too and everyone knows me!
Back to the entrance of the hotel...