Have you ever wondered how much fun one can actually derive from words alone???? Words are so much fun to play with!!! The right combinations of words can make you laugh, make you cry, make you sad, make you angry, as well as make you marvel at the splendor of words if they are ingeniously used to generate the intended effects.
Well, let's just cut the crap and let me share with you some interesting stuff that have to do with words. Explore the world of words now!!
These questions are bound to have you scratching your head
1. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
2. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
3. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
4. Is there another word for "synonym"?
5. What's another word for "thesaurus"?
6. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
7. When sign makers go on a strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
8. Why isn't there any mouse-flavored cat food?
9. If 7-Eleven opens 24 hours a day, then why do we still see padlocks and chains at the front door?
10. Why is an Egyptian corpse called a "Mummy" and not a "Daddy" regardless of sex?
Riddles/Puzzles
© What creature sometimes has two feet, sometimes three feet and sometimes four feet, and is at its weakest when it has most?
ANSWER: A human being. Humans begin as babies, who crawl on all fours. That's when they are weakest. Then they grow to maturity and walk on 2 legs. Finally, as they become old they have to walk with a stick, ie. 3 legs.
Ok, if you think my answer to that question isn't "logical" enough, let's hear what you have to say about the following one-liners:
© Which nut likes to sneeze? ANSWER: A cashew
© Why did the boy put the telephone in the oven? ANSWER: To have a hotline.
© Why was the Egyptian boy confused? ANSWER: His Dad was a "mummy".
© When is a veterinarian busiest? ANSWER: When it's raining cats and dogs.
© What can you break without touching it? ANSWER: Your promise.
© What kind of "doors" does a bull charge at? ANSWER: Mata-doors(Matadors)
© How do you know flowers are lazy? ANSWER: You will often find them in bed (flower beds)
© Why can't you play jokes on snakes? ANSWER: You can't pull their legs.
© What's a toad's favorite drink? ANSWER: Kroala-Cola
© What do you get if you see a porcupine with a balloon? ANSWER: "POP!!"
© What's a happy tin in the U.S? ANSWER: A-Merry-Can
© What did the owner give to his pet canary when it turned one year old? ANSWER: A birdy party
© Which is the most dangerous city in the world? ANSWER: Electri-city
© When is it dangerous to visit a garden? ANSWER: When the buds are shooting everywhere.
© Why does a Karate expert wear a black belt? ANSWER: To keep his pants up.
© Why did Robin Hood only rob the rich? ANSWER: The poor had no money
© What does the adult flower say to the small flower? ANSWER: "Hi, bud"
© What month was King Kong born in? ANSWER: Ape-ril (April)
© Why are rivers considered rich? ANSWER: They have 2 banks each
© Why are Sundays and Saturdays strong? ANSWER: The other days are weak days (weekdays)
© What dogs always know the time? ANSWER: Watch-dogs
© What do you get if Godzilla stepped on Batman & Robin? ANSWER: Flatman & Ribbon
© Which bell climbed the Empire State Building? ANSWER: King Kong
© Which subject do runners like best? ANSWER: Jog-graphy (Geography)
© What are the wettest animals in the world? ANSWER: Raindeer(Reindeer)
© Where would you find a pre-historic cow? ANSWER: Moo-seum (Museum)
© Where would you find satisfaction? ANSWER: Satis-factory
© What would a letter say to a stamp? ANSWER: "Stick to me, baby!"
© Why are doctors good-natured? ANSWER: They won't mind even if you stick your tongue at them.
© How do chickens start a race? ANSWER: From scratch
© Where do ghosts go swimming? ANSWER: The Dead Sea
© What do you call a bull that sleeps? ANSWER: A bulldozer
© How is the ocean friendly? ANSWER: It waves
© Why do witches play baseball at night? ANSWER: Their bats sleep during the day.
© What makes grass so dangerous? ANSWER: Their blades
© What will you get if you join 3/5 of a chick to 2/3 of a cat and to ˝ of a goat? ANSWER: Chicago
© What is necessary to light a candle? ANSWER: The candle
© What did the porcupine say as he passed a cactus plant? ANSWER: "Hello, cousin"
© What is it that even the ostrich with its long neck and sharp eyes cannot see? ANSWER: What will happen tomorrow
© Looks like sugar, sweet is not;
Flies in the air, no wings has got. ANSWER: Snow
© "I have built my house without any door" Who could've said that? ANSWER: An egg
© "Nebuchadnezzar was the king of Babylon." Now write that in only 4 letters.
ANSWER: that
POEMS
On Friendship
True friends are like diamonds
Precious and rare;
False friends are like autumn leaves
Scattered everywhere
Far out in the ocean
There lies a rock;
On it is written
Forget me not
Make new friends
Keep the old;
One is silver
The other gold.
Still on Friendship
Break not the friendship of a friend in vain
The same friendship you will never regain;
For true friendship once broken like a china bowl
Can never never again be made whole.
It can be mended like the china bowl, it's true
But the parts mended will always remain in view
On Remembrance
Drink hot coffee,
Drink hot tea;
Burn your lips,
And remember me.
Policeman, policeman,
Do your duty;
Here comes …
The Malaysian beauty!
Fall from a tree,
Fall from above;
Fall from anywhere,
But don't fall in love.
Many a ship was lost at sea,
Through loss of sail or rudder;
Many a boy has lost a girl,
Through winking at another!
On Sex
There was a man with a yen
Who could do it again and again
His prick was immense
And we watched with suspense
As he screwed number three hundred ten
When in doubt, whip is out
Your sister is like a bowling ball
She gets picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter
And comes back for more
If you wipe more than once, you're playing with it
Life is like a penis
When it's soft you can't beat it
When it's hard, you get screwed
There once was a girl so obscene
She was blessed with excessive wet dreams
She saved up a dozen
And sent 'em to her cousin
Who ate 'em as if they were creams
PUNS
The following are some words to which I've given new definitions!!
1. Cartoon-song that cars sing
2. Crowbar-where birds go for a drink
3. Half-wit-a person who is funny half the time
4. Hatchet-what a hen does with an egg
5. Myth-a moth that's still not married
6. Pillow-headquarters
7. Robin-a bird that steals
8. Illegal-a sick bird of prey
9. Rocket-what a mother does with a baby to get it to sleep
10. Ragtime-when your clothes wear out
11. Tears-glum drops
Ok, let's see…..hmm….are you worn out after having pored over all those words yet? If you aren't, well, bless you little bird-brains!! Hahahaha….just kidding. So how about a simple Spanish lesson to complete this little expedition huh? What d'ya say?? So what are we waiting for?? Ok, off we go!!
HABLA ESPANOL??
Can you figure out the English equivalents for these Spanish words?
1. Si
2. No
3. Adios
4. Gracias
5. Par favor
6. Bicicleta
7. Madre
8. Automovil
9. Hola
10. Sombrero
11. Padre
ANSWER KEY
1. Yes
2. No
3. Goodbye
4. Thank you
5. Please
6. Bike
7. Mother
8. Car
9. Hello
10. Hat
11. Father
You just completed your expedition of the intriguing world of words. Please proceed to other sections of my page. Gracias!!
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