Kristen

Lou Grant walked out of his office at WJM-TV. "Mary, Murray, can I see you in here a sec?" "Sure, Mr. Grant.", Mary Richards repilied. "This concerns you guys too", Lou said to anchorman Ted Baxter and co-anchor Sue Ann Nivens. All four of them filed into Lou's office. Lou closed the door behind them. "Okay, I just got off the phone with the station manager.", he began. "Oh, no", breathed Murray. The station manager was Lou's boss and a phone call from couldn't be good news. Lou beamed. "He's sending us all to Miami, Florida to cover the brushfires down there!" "Oh, Mr. Grant!", Mary exclaimed. "That's wonderful!" "Of course, we'll have to spend some time working, but we'll still have some time left for R and R." Lou continued. Sue Ann took a step toward Lou. "Sun, sand, a beach, you and me....how about it?", she asked with a gleam in her eye. Everyone knew that Sue Ann had a reptutation, and that she thought Lou should be her next conquest. Unfortunately, he felt differently. He ignored Sue Ann's question. "We leave after tomorrow night's show." Mary was now past the initial shock and was now beginning to think about this rationally. "How long will we be gone?", she asked. "Monday, Tuesday ath the latest.", Lou answered. "But, Lou, who will do Monday night's news?", Murray asked. "The station manager will hire replacements." Turning to Ted, Lou added, "Don't worry, it'll just be temporary." Ted often made mistakes in his reading of the news, and so he feared for his job a lot. The following night, the five of them were on a plane to Miami. Sue Ann was in the seat next to Mary. "Since Lou said we'll have some time for fun, I pulled out my little black book.", Sue Ann told Mary. "Uh-huh.", Mary said, picturing the book filled with men's addresses and gold stars that Sue Ann probably carried. Sue Ann could tell Mary had the wrong idea just by the look on her face. "Dear, sweet, NAIVE Mary!", Sue Ann laughed. "I got out the address and phone number for my cousin Rose. I called her last night. She invited us all over for dinner tomorrow night. She said she wants me to meet her friends. I haven't seen her for over ten years. When we were younger, people used to say we looked alike." Sue Ann paused. "That can't be true anymore. She probably looks awful now.", Sue Ann beamed. And so the following evening, the entire WJM newsroom stood at the door to Rose's Miami home. Sue Ann rang the doorbell. They were greeted by Rose, who looked just like Sue Ann in another outfit. "Sue Ann! It's been so long!", Rose exclaimed as the two hugged. "You look great", Sue Ann said. "It's just like looking in a mirror!" Rose laughed. "Come in, everyone." The visitors entered. Rose pointed to where her three roommates sat. "That's Dorothy." "Hi", Dorothy said from her seat on the far end of the couch. "This is her mother, Sophia Petrillo." "Hi", she said as she rose to head for the kitchen. "Got to check on dinner.", she explained. "Need any help?" Sue Ann asked. "I used to host a cooking show back home in Minneapolis, before it got canceled." "Yeah", Murray said with a laugh, "Her crew got food poisining." Mary elbowed him in the ribs. He threw her an apologetic glance. Rose continued her introductions. "And last but not least, this is Blanche." Blanche got up and walked over to Lou without a second glance at Rose or Sue Ann. "Hi", she said, turning on her Southern charm as best she could. Blanche lifted a hand toward Lou's chest. Before Lou could react, Sue Ann pushed Blanche's hand away roughly. "Hands off, he's mine.", she said. A look of hurt crossed Blanche's face for a second. Then she thought to herself, "You are a Southerner! A southerner never gives up!" "You'll have to excuse Sue Ann", Murray said. "She's a sex maniac." Mary gave Murray a *look*. Dorothy walked over. "Let's go out to the lanai. Almost before anyone moved, there was a knock at the door. Dorothy went to answer it. It was Stanley. "Hi, it's me--Stan.", he said. Dorothy whispered, "Stanley, what the hell are you doing here?" "Hey, babe, I just came by to drop off your alimony check.", he replied. He suddenly realized that there were people there he'd never met before. "Who are all these people?", he asked. "This is my cousin Sue Ann", Rose answered. "She's visiting from Minneapolis with her friends. This is Murray. He's the newswriter Sue Ann works with. That's Lou, her boss. And that's Mary, the producer." "Is she single?" Stan asked. "Stanley!" Dorothy exclaimed. Realizing the others had no idea who Stan was, she added, "This is my yutz ex-husband, Stan Zbornak." Lou stepped up to Mary. "Is that any way to talk?" he demanded of Stan. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was stepping on any toes." Lou looked angrily at Stan, who started to walk out the door. He handed Dorothy the check he'd come to bring and left. "Mr. Grant!", Mary exclaimed. "I'm sorry, Mary. You know I think of you like one of my own daughters." Sophia returned, but stood silently in the kitchen doorway, watching. Lou continued, "I just lost my head." Turning to Dorothy, he explained, "Im sorry. He made a pass at her and--I just didn't know what else to do." "No problem", Dorothy said. "It's about thime someone told him off. I couldn't have done it better myself. You were just looking out for a friend. Okay, now, let's eat! Ma, bring on the food!" The gang headed out to the lanai. On the way, Sue Ann caught Blanche's arm. "Keep your hands off, tramp.", she said and walked off. Blanche stopped dead in her tracks. "Ooh, that little floozy!", Blanche said angrily. "Thinking she could get a man away from Blanche Deveraux!" Blanche headed out to join everyone on the lanai. When she got there, everyone else was either already seated or just sitting down. Sue Ann had claimed the seat next to Lou. Mary sat on his other side. "Damn!" she mouthed. The only remaining seat was opposite him. She sat down. "So, Lou", she said, in attempt to make conversation, "What's it like makin' a news show?" Lou answered, "It's hard, but I've got a good staff." He looked over at Ted and added, "Mostly." Mary said to Sophia, "You know, Mrs. Petrillo, you remind me of my friend Rhoda's mother. Rhoda's always joking about how desperate her mother was to see her marry Joe." Dorothy laughed. "My mother was desperate NOT to see me marry Stanley." Sophia added, "The only reason ya did is because it was a shotgun wedding." Ted giggled. "Why would anyone get married at gunpoint?" he asked. Murray sighed. "She means her daughter was in trouble," he tried to explain. "With what?" Ted wanted to know. Murray groaned. Under the table, Blanche tried to seductively slide her hand up Lou's leg, but it was pushed away by Sue Ann's hand, which was already there. Lou rolled his eyes uncomfortably. The two women fixed each other with cold stares. Everyone just sat there expectant. Sophia finally broke the silence with, "Ok, that's it! Tramp One and Tramp Two, can I see you in the living room? I wanna end this once and for all!" She started for the living room followed by a very confused Sue Ann and Blanche. "What is it, Sophia?" Blanche asked. Sophia replied, "I've been around for over eighty years. In that time, I've become a very good judge of character." "What's that got to do with us?" Sue Ann asked. "Everything.", Sophia said. "I saw that poor man in there tell off my yutz ex-son-in-law. He does't want to go to bed with the first tramp who turns his head. He's got too much self-respect for that. There. I'm done now." She walked back out to the lanai without another word. Sue Ann and Blanche looked at each other. "You've known her longer than I have. Do you think she might be right?" Sue Ann asked. "You know Lou better than I do. Is she?" was Blanche's reply. Sue Ann didn't say ahother word. She just walked back out to the lanai. Blanche followed after. When they arrived, Mary asked, "How'd it go?" Sue Ann ignored Mary's question. To Lou, she said, "We both owe yo an apology." She looked at Blanche to see if she agreed. "Yeah, we're very sorry," Blanche said. "Can you forgive us?" Sue Ann asked. Lou smiled. "Yeah. I guess it was even sort of flattering. Mary looked at her watch and said, "Mr. Grant, it's getting late. We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow.." Lou looked at his own watch. "Oh, yeah, you're righ. Mrs. Petrillo, the dinner was wonerful, but we gotta go," Lou said as he got up. The other visitors rose. Rose walked over Sue Ann and hugged her. "Let's not wait another ten years, Ok?" "Ok, I'll call you next week." Sue Ann laughed.