1 You lose arguments with inanimate objects - THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!
2 You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
3 Classes or work interfering with your drinking.
4 Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
5 Career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
6 The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7 Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
8 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
9 Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
10 Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past
you.
11 When you can focus better with one eye closed.
12 The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
13 Every woman you see has an exact twin.
14 Roseanne starts to look good to you.
15 When the bar owner actually carved your name onto your own barstool.
16 You fall off the floor...
17 Discover in morning liquid cleaning supplies have mysteriously
disappeared.
18 Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
19 Find yourself as the captain for the Exxon Valdez.
20 Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
21 Beer: it's not just for breakfast anymore. - There's a sandwich in
every beer.
22 The glass keeps missing your mouth!
23 Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
24 When you go to donate blood and they ask what proof??
25 Problem? I Drink, I get Drunk, I Fall down....no problem??
26 Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
27 Waking up with a traffic cone between your legs.
28 Your idea of cutting back is less seltzer.
29 You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol,
and Women.
30 Having a hard time staying on the side walk - left, right stumble
fall.
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