- The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity
- Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3
friends. If they're OK, you're it.
- Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
- It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
- If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
- Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can
think.
- Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy
to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be
paranoid, too.
- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you
feel happy to be on your way.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
- Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where
you left them to where you can't find them.
- Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will
not be evenly distributed.
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