- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
- Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- How do I set my laser printer on stun?
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
- If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
- If God dropped acid, would he see people?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
- If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
- If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
- If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
- Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
- Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
- What happens when none of your bees wax?
- Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
- If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of
the stuff?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't
everyone just move 10 miles away?
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
- Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and
apes?
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it
would defeat the purpose.
- If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they
all still working?
- Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
- Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
- If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
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