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What's the difference between a Yugo and a golf ball? You can drice a golf ball 200 yards. |
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. |
| College Bathroom Humor | THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES |
| Is this yours? Your dog left it on my lawn. | Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. |
| Coming Out | Deaths |
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An old man comes back from the doctor and he says to his wife, "Guess
what? All I had to do was open my shirt and show my gray hair, and I
got Social Security."
She says, "You should have pulled down your pants. You could have gotten disability." |
Why do Yugo's have rear window heaters? So you can keep your hands warm while you're pushing it. |
| Drinking Patch | Old Lingerie |
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The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying
in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally
tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he
entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!" |
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was
a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." |
| Hijacking | Ten Kids |
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One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his
wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns
over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment
tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns
over and tries to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" |
Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back
streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards
dusk, the increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two
girls a little nervous when one girl leans over to the other and says,
"You know, I've never come this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones." |