Fear

2/

Disclaimer in part one

********

Sisko sat on the bridge of the Defiant, having finally left DS9.  He watched as his crew worked.  It had taken some time to locate where the message had been sent from, but Dax had finally traced it to a system deep inside Cardassian space-the Chevra system.  At maximum warp, and under the drain running under cloak put on the ship's power, the trip should take about 4 days.  He hoped that it would be fast enough.

His thoughts turned to an unexpected member of the rescue team.  He recalled how Garak had run into his office, still in his pajamas, insisting that Julian was in danger and that they had to help him.  When he had asked Garak how he knew this, he had said, very clearly and without any embarrassment, "A dream."  When he had confirmed that, yes, Julian had been captured, and yes, they were going to recover him, Garak had said, "I can be ready in 10 minutes." He had turned and left Ops, and sure enough, 10 minutes later, he had been at the airlock, arguing with Kira, who wasn't inclined to let him onboard.

Finally, Sisko, against his better judgment, had let Garak onboard.  It seemed to him that it was the smarter course of action.  Garak had seemed so distressed that Sisko had feared that if he hadn't been allowed on the official mission, he would've simply stolen a runabout.  Sisko settled back in his chair.  They had a long trip ahead of them.

********

Garak paced in the small room Starfleet laughingly called quarters, wishing the distance to melt away.  Ever since he had discovered that his dream actually had some basis in truth, he hadn't been able to rest his body or his mind.  He kept worrying about what his Julian was enduring.  'No,' he thought to himself, stopping his pacing. 'Not my Julian.  I didn't have the courage to tell him how I feel, that I love him.  Now I am paying for that in my heart.'  Aloud he said, "Please return safely, Julian.  I promise this time I will not be a coward.  Please don't," he choked on the word, "die, not before I can tell you.  Please hear me."  As if his decision had let his mind rest, Garak sank down onto his bunk and fell into an exhausted sleep.

*********

'Please hear me.'  The words floated to Julian as if in a dream.  But he was awake!  Julian concentrated, trying to hear better, but the voice was gone.  His mind turned it over, trying to remember where he had heard that voice before-he was certain he had heard it before.  Something in his mind clicked.  "Garak?" he said, astonished.  "Was that Garak I heard?  But how-why-"

His wondering was cut off as the Vorta entered the room.  "Time for another session, my pet," he crooned to Julian.  Julian flinched away, but his battered condition made him no match for the Vorta.  As he reached out and grabbed Julian, he cried out, crying for deliverance.  It wasn't until much later that he realized that he was crying for Garak.

********

"Captain, we're entering the Chevra System," Dax reported four days later.  The ship had made better time then they had thought. 

"That's the best news I've heard in a while, Old Man," said Sisko, smiling.  Have you fixed onto the right planet?"

"Soltis III, sir.  We can be there in 5 minutes." 

"Then take us there.  I want Kira, O'Brien, Odo, and Garak in the transporter room in 5 minutes."

"Benjamin, what about me?"

"Dax, I need you here, to watch over the ship and be ready to guard our backs.  Also, I'll need my best person at the helm immediately when we return.  That, Old Man, happens to be you."

"Oh, all right, Benjamin," Dax smiled.  "Just be sure to give them a few licks for me.  And make sure Julian comes back safe."

'Will do, Dax.  You have the bridge."  Sisko left the bridge.  Dax looked out after him.

"Be careful, Benjamin," she whispered, and turned her attention back to her panel.  If there was going to be a fight, she was going to be ready for it.

********

"All right, people.  I want to get in and out of there as soon as possible, with no casualties."  The rescue party was grouped outside the compound where, according to the scanners, Julian was being held.  Sisko was briefing the team.  "Now, I wasn't O'Brien and Odo to take care of the security measures this place boasts.  We don't want trouble unless we can't help it.  Once you're done, I want you to join the rest of us in looking for our doctor.  Be quiet, don't take any risks, and get Julian out of here.  Everyone understand?"  They all nodded.  "Then, let's go.  Regardless of what happens, I want everyone to report back in 2 hours.  I don't want to find someone else has disappeared as well."

Garak left the group behind, heading for his designated search area.  'Let me find him,' he thought.  'Let me find him so I can protect him.  He's alone and scared, and I want to be the one to assure him that he won't be hurt again.  At least,' he amended, 'not while I still have breath in my body.'  As he ran down a corridor, avoiding several Jem'Hadar guards, he paused, thinking he heard someone crying.  Cautiously, well aware that it could be a trap, he approached the door he heard the sounds coming from.  Overriding the locks he entered the room, phaser drawn.  What he saw made him gasp in surprise and outrage.  Julian sat in a corner curled in a ball.  He was bruised, battered, covered with cuts and whip marks, dried and fresh blood.  As he watched the shivering form, he heard the desperate sobs that came from Julian.  'Oh my dear Julian, what have they done to you?'  Without looking up, Julian spoke.

"I suppose you've come back to use me again?" he asked bitterly.  "Well, hurry up and get it over with.  You got what you wanted. I can't fight, not anymore."

Garak walked over and put his hand on Julian's shoulder, wincing when he saw the younger man flinch.  "I would never dream of harming you, my dear doctor, never."

Julian looked up in response to the voice.  "Garak?  Is it really you?"  Something clouded his eyes and he drew back and started shaking his head in denial.  "No, no it's not you!"  His voice began rising in hysteria.  "It's some trick to make me lower my guard.  I won't do it, do you hear me!  I won't do it!!"

Garak grabbed Julian and started shaking him.  "No, it is me.  Julian, it is me.  Hear me.  I am not here to harm you.  I came with the Defiant.  We are here to save you!"

"Garak!"  Recognition was in his voice, the madness was gone.  "I knew you would come.  I knew that I wouldn't be left here alone."  He threw his arms around Garak and hugged him tight.  "Hold me Garak, I need to know that someone's here, that I won't be hurt."

Garak wrapped his arms tight around Julian's trembling body, pulling them both to the floor.  "Shhhh, Julian.  I'm here.  No one will hurt you as long as I'm here.  You have my word on that."  He began rocking Julian, crooning to him in a soft voice.  Slowly Julian drifted off to sleep.  As soon as Garak was sure he was asleep, he contacted the Captain to tell him of his success.  The response he got was not what he expected.

"Garak, I'm afraid our visit isn't as secret as we've liked.  We're drawing fire."

"Do you want me to assist you?"

'No, stay there and protect Julian at all costs. It seems the Vorta is a little miffed that we want him back."

"Understood Captain.  Garak out."

Garak looked down on the sleeping Julian and allowed his thoughts to wander.  'Look at him.  Even in sleep, with his body battered, he's still beautiful.  I wish I'd have the chance to hold him like this back home, where I could just enjoy him, enjoy holding him close, knowing that he trusts me, even, possibly, loving me.'  As he shifted position, Garak realized that a part of him hadn't been thinking as chastely as his mind.  He was developing an erection.  'No!' he shouted silently at his body.  'Not now, not when he's so vulnerable, when he could see this as threatening.'  His body wasn't buying it.  It knew how much the tailor desired Julian.

Julian chose that moment to wake up.  "I'm sorry, did I fall asleep?"  Julian glanced up and noticed the pained expression on Garak's face.  "Are you all right Garak?" he asked, concerned.  "Do you want me to do something for you?"

Garak visibly winced at the innocent comment.  'Oh yes, can you let me make love to you until neither one of us can see straight?'  "No, Julian.  I'm sorry to disturb you.  I was concerned.  This isn't the best place for you and me to be.  It's dangerous, and you are in need of medical attention.  It will be better for all of us if we can get back to the Defiant."

Julian looked at Garak, really looking at him for the first time since the Cardassian had entered the room.  "Garak, do you mind if I confide something to you?"

"No, of course not, Julian.  What is it?"  Garak had to force his mind onto Julian's words.  'Ok, you can do this.  Talk.  What you always do.  You can function,'

"Well," Julian started, not really sure how to start.  "I thought about you a lot Garak.  A lot of my memories are hazy, especially during...well, you know."  Julian looked down, unable to verbalize the atrocities that had happened.  Garak tightened his arms around the doctor, silently supporting him and encouraging him to keep speaking at the same time.  "Some thoughts I do remember, though.  I remember calling you, not aloud-I couldn't show that kind of weakness, it was a matter of pride I guess-but in my head I called for you.  Not the Captain, not Miles, or anyone else, but you.  And-you're going to think this is silly-I thought I heard you as well.  I could hear you, as if we were just in the Replimat, just talking about...things.  It was an anchor for me.  I don't know why, but you were the one I turned to, inside me.  I just wanted you to know that."  Julian glanced away, not able to meet Garak's eyes, obviously embarrassed by his speech.

'Hmmm, this could be interesting.  Is it possible that he can feel the way I do?  Only one way to find out....'  "Julian, why do you think I was the one you mentally turned to?  Was there a reason?"

"I-" Julian stopped, then gathered his courage and continued.  "Yes there was.  I-I'm in love you Elim Garak. Madly, hopelessly.  And...I don't expect you to feel the same way.  All I can ask is that you not hate me.  I understand you don't feel the same way-in fact; I won't blame you if you don't.  I'll leave you alone, after we leave here.  But just don't hate me.  I can't stop my feelings, any more than I can stop breathing.  Believe me, I tried."  Julian pulled out of Garak's arms and walked away from him, across the room.

'I can't believe it.  All this time...wasted.'  "Dear Julian, I know what you mean.  Do you realize how much time I've spent hating myself, for loving you when all my rational thought was telling me that it was hopeless?"  Garak came over to Julian and lifted his chin so he could look into the doctor's expressive hazel eyes.  "I love you too, Julian.  When I knew that you were being held, being hurt, it hurt me too.  All I could think of was getting to you, rescuing you, gathering you up in my arms and taking you from your torment."

"You...love me?"  Julian sounded incredulous, as if he couldn't quite believe his ears.  He searched Garak's eyes and found there confirmation of his words.  Oh, Elim, I love you."  With that he pulled Garak close and kissed him. 

The kiss was like nothing Garak had ever experienced before.  It was soft and soothing, yet electric at the same time.  'Drowning,' he thought hazily.  'I'm drowning in his kiss.'  He pulled Julian closer, deepening the kiss slowly.  Garak ran his tongue over the doctor's lips.  Julian moaned and responded by opening his mouth to Garak's caresses.  The two men, caught up in the sensations of their newly found love never heard the door open.

"Well, well," came a smooth voice.  "I see my pet has many admirers.  Too bad you'll never get to know his many charms, Cardassian.  He belongs to me."

Garak broke away from Julian, spinning him so that Garak was blocking Julian's body with his own.  "He doesn't belong to you, Vorta," Garak spat.  "He's his own man, and I intend to see that he remains free."

The Vorta drew a phaser.  "I'm sorry that it has to come to this.  I do so hate killing.  But you leave me no choice."  He raised the weapon, seemingly intending to fire at Julian. 

'No!" Garak cried, and shoved Julian across the room.  Amazingly, the Vorta's aim never wavered.

"Did you really think that I was going to shoot my pet?" the Vorta asked.  "No, I want to keep him.  It's the competition I want to get rid of."  The Vorta fired.

"NOOO!!" screamed Julian as he hurled himself in front of Garak.  The bolt hit him in the side.  Julian collapsed in front of Garak.  He whispered, "Couldn't see you hurt, not the man I love," then went limp.

Garak looked at the body of his love, and then at the Vorta, who just shrugged.  "I guess it wasn't meant to be," he said in a dismissive tone, then turned to leave. 

Garak, his mind clouded by what he had seen, didn't even think.  He fired his phaser at maximum, instantly vaporizing the Vorta.  He then fell to his knees and gathered Julian's still form against him.  "Julian!" he cried out, unable to stop the tears that flowed from his eyes.  Dax ran into the room, with Sisko close on her heels.

"Benjamin, I thought I heard phaser fire-"  She stopped as she entered the room and took in the sight of Garak holding Julian's body.

"Garak, what happened?" Dax asked, as she came over and started running her tricorder over Julian.

"The Vorta shot him and then I killed the Vorta."  One look at Garak's face was enough to convince both Dax and Sisko that asking any more questions.  Dax examined the readings.  "Well?" Garak asked, trying to mask his fear. 

Dax looked at the two men.  Her face wasn't encouraging.  "Let's get him up to the ship fast," was all she'd say.

As Sisko passed on the order, he couldn't help but look at Garak's face.  For the first time he realized just why Garak had insisted on coming along.  'Garak...in love with Julian?' Sisko thought.  It explained a lot.  And did the doctor love him as well?  As the transporter effect took place, Sisko hoped with all his heart that Julian would recover so that Garak could find some peace.

*********

To be continued...