CP : You said you read about the "On My Street" Slam far in advance and knew immediately what story you would tell. Are you a regular attendee/storyteller, or was this your first time? Were you nervous onstage?

I'd first heard about the StorySlams early last year sometime (in City Paper!) via an ad and then again in a short write-up, I think. I remember thinking immediately it was something that I might want to do and it sounded like loads of fun, but I didn't get around to actually attending one until the fall (October's "Strange Coincidence"). It was my first slam and I got picked to go first, which was a severe sweat-inducing experience. I hadn't really prepared very well, and I rambled and forgot some things I wanted to say and stammered through it (and went well over the 5-minute time limit). But I got pretty good scores, mostly thanks to the fact that my coincidence was dating two half-sisters who didn't know each other until they found out they were related - a couple years after I dated the 2nd one. And also that their father caught me in bed with daughter #1 (who de-virginized me; not *that* time). And also that I sort of documented my sexual relationship with her, in roman numerals, on my wall calendar from 1992, that I brought with me to the slam. Yeah.

I was actually leading halfway through, then ended up 3rd or 4th. Ironically, I was initially put off by the fact that you get "judged" and that they pick a "winner" at something as subjective as storytelling. But at the slam I found myself really wanting to win the damn thing. So after that, I convinced myself that I had a shot. I got on the mailing list and God bless 'em, First Person Arts sent out a list of the themes for the entire year's worth of 2009 slams back in December. So I made a list of all the stories I could think of that I could tell at the themes they would fit into, and I pretty much decided I was going to keep going until I either won one or I ran out of stories. I attended another slam in January before the one in March, though I didn't get called to get on stage. Plus, there's the bonus of it's just fun to listen to good stories even if yours isn't one of them. I was a little surprised at how many people are at the slams who aren't planning on telling a story. It's just a good time. It's kind of the opposite of a musical open mic, where it's mostly just the people who are also there to perform that are listeing to you.

This time around, I was much, much more prepared (I heavily edited my story down into one page of text (through several drafts) after I typed it all out completely and then rehearsed it to myself in the car and at work leading up to the slam. And because I had a much better grasp of what I was talking about, I was a lot less nervous. Though I still left out some things I planned to say and added a few items I had no intention of mentioning! The time limit is what gets me. I've always loved laughing and making people laugh, I enjoy language and finding interesting ways of saying what I want to say, I love details, and I never turn down a good tangent. I've also had the good fortune of having some weird and/or hilarious shit happen to me. I just had to be a lot more disciplined in front of the mic. I've secretly always wanted to be a stand-up comic, but I can't really write jokes, so story slams are the next best thing. And I think the funniest stuff you just can't make up.

CP : Did this memorably painful childhood experience affect your sense of danger? Do you find yourself to be a cautious person, or still the type who would run blindly into a mailbox?

Hehe... uh, well I've never been much of a risk taker. I'm cautiously brave, I guess. I'm a hack musician and songwriter and have been playing open mics for a few years, and that can be frightening, but I've become pretty comfortable with that. I'm never afraid to embarrass myself, that's for sure, especially if someone else is getting a kick out of it. I'd just rather do it without impaling any part of my body on cement-reinforced, metal-poled objects.

CP : What's your 9-to-5?

I am an honest-to-goodness zookeeper. I take care of monkeys and apes at America's First Zoo. I pick up a lot of shit.

CP : Congratulations on the upcoming baby -- was it a relief to know that you've still ... got it in you? Do you think you'll raise your own children to be careful or adventurous?

Thanks very much, and it definitely was a relief! The doubt was always in there. Could I? Well, hell yeah I could! It was especially gratifying that it happened relatively quickly - I was only 0-for-1 at the time of conception. If I had gone 0-for-the-spring, I would have ended up in a doctor's office dreading "the sample". Heh... I would hope that my children are somewhat careful when they're adventurous. I fully believe in forging your own path and being allowed to make your own mistakes, but I guess I'd just advise them to try not to haul ass at Mach 3 around a blind corner - or blind tree, as the case may be.

CP : What was your favorite story of the night, other than your own?

I think I most appreciated Jonathan's story about the rats, especially as an animal keeper. He had some very astute behavioral observations about rodents. I've had a run in or two with rats, myself. I could tell you about the time at work that I beat the living daylights out of a rat that had found himself in with me in a very confined space - using a monkey toy as my implement of justice - but I don't know if the zoo would appreciate it. Not to mention it's not very bunny-hugger of me. But that's a story for another slam.