want
(April 8th, 1991)

these three words
I taste their flavour
on my tongue
want to share it with you
so I kiss you
each and every part
of my body
says yes
closer
you hold me
just to let go
after a while
and leave me
with the smell
of your body
and in the silence
of my room at night
I cry for more

you
(August 31st/September 1st, 1992)

autumn is dawning
and you are beside me
whenever I reach out
you
with your warm and tender eyes
you
with your incredible smile
you
who helps me to find myself
what in the world
could I ask for
when sometimes
you make love to me
with every word you say

relapse
(February 2nd, 1996)

once again
the snow has settled down
cruelly
on our hopes
for spring
deceiving us
with its whiteness
scornfully
laughing in our faces
sneering at us
from underneath the ice
littering a thousand snowflakes
down upon our foolishness

roadhouse blues
(October 8th, 1991)

the truck stopped
the door banged
hi
yelled sue
behind the counter
he nodded
coffee as usual
asked sue
he nodded
lots of sugar as usual
asked sue
he nodded
what's wrong
asked sue
used to come out here often with eve
answered he
it over
asked sue
he nodded
slowly
boy
said sue
been a long time though

DREAM #18
(December 10th, 1992)

I try to find out
WHY I CAN'T MOVE

the wise old mirror
THAT IS BEWITCHED
tells me everything

once
when I was a baby
I WAS NOT INNOCENT

I trapped the sun
and so the moon
PARALYZED ME
for it could not shine
anymore

passion cries freedom
(December 26th, 1995)

my passion for you
is new - born
still fresh
with the first
morning dew
unbleached
unbroken
untamed
raging inside me
driving me mad
sickening with anger
crying for freedom
against doors of steel
and walls of stone

land's end
(September 16th, 1995)

the green
rolling
into the sea
above it
a blue sky
a white cloud
sailing
towards america

To ... (Jim Morrison)
(March 23th, 1992)

Just on time
Invited over to life
Made the best of it
Made the worst of it
Outspoken hero and god
Rather than
Rock singer
Innermost feelings revealed
Seldom understood
Only one way out:
Never to re-open the doors

The difference
(April 21st, 1992)

and i asked them
to kill the dragons for me
but they didn't even know
where to look for them

only you
looked me in the eye
and began to fight
the demons in my head

ein liebesgedicht
(May 3rd, 1992)

lavendelmeer
kirschblütenhimmel
pfirsichmond
in honigluft
ein wattewind
durch spätsommerbäume
schleierwolken
vor deinem gesicht

gedankengeflimmer
waldschwarze stille
winterwaldträume
vergangenheitstränen
lippenschweigen
gebrochen in küssen
blickzärtlichkeiten
ein liebesgedicht

DREAM #12
(December 1st, 1992)

underneath my
PRIVATE SKY
I'm bathing among
PINK ICE-CUBES

the titanic
is sinking and
THE POLAR-BEARS ARE LAUGHING
laughing like
THUNDER

White Christmas
(December 25th, 1993)

white christmas
wish you were here
I'd love you
in the untouched snow
so breathlessly
so passionately
that it'd nearly melt
but no -
I'd regret being no virgin
' cause then my blood would stain
the snow-covered meadows
for everyone to know

The moon she is my lover
(April 23rd 1994)

the moon she is my lover
and she looks pale tonight
like faded yellow roses
in hazy winter light

I'm hiding from the shadows
they've come to take my dreams
your face it looked an open door
but nothing's what it seems

Passion
(December 26th, 1994)

and i whisper dark fever
into you
and it makes you sweat
whatever your fears are
my tongue
melts them away
my hands breathe life
into each part of you
you drink my kiss
to still your hunger
my passion
is a velvet glove
and nothing in the world
could suit you better

Avalon
(April 16th, 1995)

magic
morgaine
do the magic
lady of the lake
once again
morgaine
just once again
lady of the lake
whisper
morgaine
whisper to me
lady of the lake
about the
secret entrance
to your forgotten home
and then
one last time
morgaine
for one last time
lady of the lake
let the mists come down
behind you and me

Broken
(February 14th, 1996)

why am i sitting here
crying
dying a little death
with every heartbeat
my soul had wings
reason broke them
now my heart is lame

this killing desire
to touch you
and you brushing it all away
with a wink of your eye

back it comes
rushing ashore my memory
this other face
this other smile
this secret heart inside my own

after a while
only the pain lingers

goodbye
(September 14th, 1996)

and i had thought
all this time
that you were happy
preparing for forever
while beneath the surface
temperatures had dropped
and rainstorms had quenched the fire
you had withdrawn
from something that was ours
like yesterday on the phone
you stopped responding
no longer can i be the one
as i'm so easily deceived
by silences
so hard of hearing
when it comes to words unspoken
so unfeeling
for your pain

*for sepp - may it never come that far*

edinburgh
(August 8th, 1996)

beneath an
ever changing sky
your stone buildings
are breathing history
the dead are alive
with their heartbeats
faintly echoed
in today's quicker pace
some dark corners
bring a sinister feeling
about me
but every time it dissolves
with one step
around the corner
i'm brought back to life

schneewinters
(November 30th, 1990)

sommergedanken
sonnendurchflutet
schneewinters

scheinbare
stille
summt sinnenvoll

silbernes
schneeflocken-spiel
sachte

seelen
schweifen sehnsuchtsvoll
sonnwärts

scotland
(january 16th, 1997)

sleeping beauty
in a thousand hues of green
i wonder what it is
you touch inside me
deep down
a love long lost
a song once sung
a history lived
lifetimes ago

friday afternoon subway
(31 january/2 february 1997)

friday afternoon subway
and suddenly
it seems to me
i'm riding on a
train full of zombies
dead eyes
ears closed
faded lipstick
am i the only one alive

a green-yellow-orange tie
clashes with a
red-blue jacket
in despairing disharmony
maybe that'll
wake them up

mirror mirror
(february 02/10, 1997)

mirror mirror ...
no we won't play
that game tonight
i turn away
scared
i might get drowned
in the abyss
behind my smile
shocked
by my own vicious desires
forbidden longings
in my wickedly innocent blue eyes

mirror mirror
if nobody can see through me:
you can

love's an illusion
(february 02nd, 1997)

so love is an illusion
you tell me
now
when all i want is to
feel your body
against mine
this is not the right time
for being ironic
if love's an illusion
then what am i
a mere phantom
haunting your daydreams
and what was that night
do you remember
when we cried
in each other's arms
woken from a nightmare
we'd shared
would you have said
there and then
that all there is to it
in truth is not?

blackest night
(february 11th, 1997)

no moon tonight
who could guide me
will i be misled
by the darkness
that blackens the mood of the city
and greedily swallows its lights

no stars are there
to help me navigate
the raging seas within me
and the sun
may already find me
in a ditch of regret

dream #34
(february 13th, 1997)

i am skipping my rope on
YELLOW BRICK ROAD
pondering over
an encounter with alice

did she get lost on her way to
WONDERLAND

heigh-ho heigh-ho
she said
but these are not her lines
THIS IS A COVERVERSION
of the seven dwarfs

OH NO
says a grinning cheshire cat
everything is nothing
ALICE WILL BORROW NEVER STEAL
tomorrow she gave back
the words

tribute to eve
(15/02/97)

whichever way
our bodies meet
they are in tune
a passionate colourful symphony
youme - meyou
in a rhythm of our own

sharing this
sweet sweet trance
my love
we approach
apocalyptic ecstasies
a wordlessly eloquent tribute to eve
for picking that one apple

too soon
(15/02/97)

february
and winter is puzzled
a premature spring
is in the air
but he is boisterous and bold
and bowing to us
in a clownish manner
taking off his blue blue hat
to let out the sun
and produce by magic
smiles on grey faces
a blossom or two
he lifts us on top of the world
for a while
lulling us into a false sense of security
until this carnival is over

on the phone II
(21/02/97)

your trickling words
wrap me up in
a thousandfold lemon ecstasies

my body is overflowing
like a river in a temper
knowing you are feeding
on my luscious moans

desire meets desire meets fulfillment

heaven and hell
have never been so close
and the graze of angels' wings
might as well be the devil's breath

cold turkey
(10/03/97)

loved you too much
and now i can't recover
from this emotional hangover

your sweet caresses
still fill every cave
inside my brain

i feel sick with yearning
for that sticky mellow drug
cold turkey
all that's left over
from the feast

silence
(25/03/97)

i could break a window
a plate
to end this silence

you could break our hearts
by keeping it up

on-line.affair
(27/03/97)

private room
"for our pleasure"
in bits and bytes

i'm all f.e-m@il
and you

they call me
the wild web-ber *S*
come and get entangled
in my wwspiderweb, baby *G*
i caress my keyboard
the f stands for your face
the b for breasts and belly
the l for legs
and maybe later
a v for vagina

yes honey
send your balls into the net
it's our game only
our heaven in vast cyberspace
and this connection
will not fail

stardust
(12, 14/09/1997)

looking up
at the night sky
my mind goes stardust
and i wonder
did man rape the moon
and is this sidestep
forever echoed
on the vast horizon

september sunday morning
(14/09/1997)

amsterdam
on a
september sunday morning

the city has not yet
stepped out of doors
nor even
crawled out of bed
i share the peaceful solitude
with a bird, a bell, a hundred sleeping bikes

the year has worn out
the sun:
with tired fingers
he is gently caressing
his children -
images re-born in the silent water

a smile lingers
and i am slowly waking up
behind my sunglasses

angels
(15/09/1997)

do you think
when angels make love
they do it in flight
or on fuzzy pinkish clouds
do their juices taste like
nectar and ambrosia
and do they use
star-spangled condoms
made of the fabric of our souls

eclipse III
(16, 17/09/1997)

she lies in darkness waiting
my eyes fingers lips are searching:
her pale cheeks in my hands ...
i breathe cold hazy fever on her
a tori amos song, a shaky earthquake voice
and the everlasting journeys
of earth sun and moon
- a language in riddles and rhymes -
bring my lady back to me

the moon is down
(17,18/09/1997)

the moon was full
it made me hungry
tasteless plastic tales
was all i got
recycled rubber fantasies
that left me unmoved
unable to move myself
the bitter scent
of unfulfilled desires
hung above my head for days
stale and despised

time has ticked away
the moon is down
i traded my hunger for her fulfilment

flirt
(20/09/1997)

your lips are smiling
though your eyes are mocking me
provoking me
or is it something else
that makes my blood race
in my veins

the stewardess
(20/09/1997)

withered eastern beauty
faded
under the heavy layers
of too much powder and make-up
around a prominent
barbra streisand nose
and too gaily coloured lips

faces of autumn
(20/09/1997)

the other city‘s heartbeat
echoed mine
like a weaker twin

for a few days
autumn was like a
drugged mellow summer
there was no room for it
in my luggage
and here i find the trees
a playground for the colours of decay

a reflection in the window
of an uninviting underground train
vaguely reminds me
of somebody i used to know
and she‘d be still the same
if only it weren‘t for the tears

no child of the city
(22/09/1997)

estranged
estranged
from paths so familiar
didn't
the plane
mistake this for home

whoever
dropped me
in this loveless nest
he
turned me
into a cuckoo's egg

i am
a teardrop
on the face of the city
a
runaway dream
trampled upon by the crowd

chocolate covered candy
(23/09/1997)

lovemaking like
chocolate covered candy
is what your eyes
suggest
and your
fine fierce fingers
will smoothly spread
the icing

african drums
(25, 26/09/1997)

the entrancing rhythm
of african drums
echoed in your vibrating
fingertips
nothing more heavenly
than the voodoo magic
of your soul-embalming
kiss

what do i care
(26/09/1997)

what do i
care about
your eyes kissing me
from head to toe
in a split second
before liquid laughter
bursts in once more
and idle irony
resumes its seat
comfortably
in your glance

it means nothing
(26/09/1997)

all my senses awaken
painfully
at mere accidents
- collisions of full moon flavoured skin -
encounters of undercover souls
in this city suburb lost & found

half a heartbeat later
you annihilate me
i do not exist
for seconds or centuries
your wind-swept gaze
erases me
altogether

wipe me out
(26/09/1997)

untype me
unread me
unsing me again
lock me up
in a prison of pain
reconcile me to
the state of never-ness
put me away
in pandora's box
wipe me out
with a kiss
on another woman's mouth

tenderness
(26/09/1997)

you inspire tenderness
almost like a child:
eyes casting a spell
fine as a spiderweb
a kiss blown like a hush
upon the fragile shape
of your lips
eyelashes lazily dusting
your cheeks
a hand
hinting at a caress
of your neck
'cause even an embrace
might have you
crumbling in my arms

love triangle
(01/10/1997)

every time i look at you
our eyes re-marry
sweet silent pain

out in the rain
(02/10/1997)

not native to a
raindrenched world
i am splish-splashing my way
from shelter to shelter
like a puzzled kangaroo
but my pouch is very empty
and my smile is
a hundred suns brighter than the rainbow
that could've been
that would've been
if i had only brought my bold umbrella

paradise found
(02, 03/10/1997)

eden blushed
at what you whispered in my ear
- it showed as a pinkish dawn,
soft, hazy, unpresuming -
some naughty angels
might have giggled though
- hiding their burning faces
behind unfinished wings -
and when we kissed
- breathless, flushed, insane -
adam and eve reminisced
and she offered him another apple

honey night
(07/10/1997)

the night is growing
twilight stars like poppy seed
honey is dripping

havoc
(07/10/1997)

through orbits unknown
frail raindrops dance sheer havoc
in my lazy mind

echo
(07/10/1997)

lose me to darkness
an echo of me leaps through
lingering laments

winter
(07/10/1997)

hypnotize my heart
while under a snow blanket
a drop of blood falls

haiku
(07/10/97)

words painting ardent
minimalistic sketches
of narcotic dreams

autumn
(07/10/1997)

milk-glass horizon
a sombre sun sets fire
to entangled vines

winter world
(08/10/1997)

on winter mornings
the world is its own burden
when the raven cries

portishead
(10/10/1997)

sawn sounds, a frail voice
evoking memories of
billie holiday

crush
(16/10&10/11/197)

you could say
it´s over
i would merely turn
with blazing eyes
and crush
between my fingers
the memory
like a beetle
who is in the wrong place
at the wrong time

november sun
(10/11/1997)

high-flying kite
a waggling tail
in an obscure mating dance
facing this november sun
who´s all but mellow
rather out of place
cut out some precious warm
enchanting day in may
and glued to this
unreal blue autumn sky
he sets fire to my hair
deliberately
with a wicked grin
last leaves burst into flames
and with an unexpected twist
the kite has struggled free
and flown

anchored
(11/11/1997)

your gentle hand was my anchor
when your eyes were all but shallow waters
skin to skin, wrapped in silken whispers
you hushed my fears
i lost my balance with my feet firm on the ground
and this single second took us beyond time

november night dreaming
(12/11/1997)

vivid dreams
on enchanted november nights
clad in mysterious rags of mist
the images in my head
are peopled with mice and men
and i
haunted by malice and mischief
tantalized by magic and moons
scorned by magpies and macaws
but always reconciled to timid tranquillity
by brief moments of simple sleep

october
(14&15/11/1997)

i found the park
a chestnut chaos
a picturebook world of colours
in tousled treetops
ever alive, with no trace of decay

he had fierce eyes
this autumn sun
as he led the breeze
by her warm soothing hand
and melted an occasional cloud
in a soft embrace

a squirrel hurried home
to stock up its larder
with seasonal treasures
whereas his neighbour´s heartbeat
had long slowed down down for winter

this year´s first snow
(18/11/1997)

and in the streets
unprepared me encounters
this year´s first snow
its vehemence nearly
frightens me
it comes so sudden
after a warm romantic autumn
which seemed almost immortal
with its persistent colourful embrace
but now the wind´s unleashed
it loiters on deserted corners
peeping, chuckling, biding time
and then attacking unsuspecting passengers
to disarray their deary dray

the dream
(19/11/1997)

“fake“ they cried, sneering
but when i woke i was
as real as ever

november´s child
(22/11/1997)

the day is dreary, damp and cold
all dressed in thick grey flannel
for winter´s housewarming party
no titillating sunbeams
draw chequered patterns on the street
a chorus of hundreds
mourns the loss of glossy autumn days
but my own step falls lightly
on the polished asphalt
all thrilling colours
live inside my heart
the rain is music and the fog a coat
for me, a true november´s child

spellbound
(23/11/1997)

do i
break the law
by thinking of you
wicked
are your eyes
for clinging to my mind
reason
has deserted me
it burst into pieces
on hitting the image of your face
i´ll surely
put them back together
once your spell
no longer binds my hands

subjective truth
(23/11/1997)

too sweet a birthday kiss
i chose to imagine
and now i can´t get rid
of its bitter afterglow
your voice whispers things
you never said
they´re what i want to hear
a subtle dictation of love

uncertain smile
(25&26/11/1997)

delirious expectations
of your dreaded touch
make my spine tingle
electrified
i crave those opportunities
to unsuccessfully avoid your eyes
a chance encounter
of hesitating fingertips
all flushed
with this delicious and
forbidden heat
all blue with red-hot edges
my life seems somewhat
blurred
like an uncertain smile

infatuation
(26/11/1997)

it wasn´t what i asked for
this stubborn infatuation
with someone i hardly know
but whose lip shape
has my fantasy going wild
who dries a hidden pond of tears
with every pearly string of laughter
and who out of all people
holds the silver key
to make me feel at once
desirable woman and foolish little girl

insane
(29/11/1997)

insane
insane
my eyes still wander
to search your face
though you´re not there

the pig and the spider
(01&03/12/1997)

"come copulate with me,
please" said the pig
(quite the etiquette
in animal land)
"no way"
replied the spider
"you are much
too big"
"i´ll be careful"
begged the pig
"not to crush you"
"that´s not"
answered the spider
"quite what i mean"
and the pig was
all ears
"you are just"
said the spider
leisurely spinning
her threads
"a few sizes too large
to be my customary
post-mating dinner"

spin
(03/12/1997)

don´t know how
you spin my world around
with a wink of your eye
you make the waves clash
roaring
inside my soul
with your kiss, skin-deep
and full of fairy-tale emotions
you think your bewildered
trains of thoughts
inside my head -
my heart will be their
terminal

on board of me
(03/12/1997)

come
on board of me
drift along
the red red rivers
in my veins
make every pore
your home
and every heartbeat
of mine
your slave

collision
(03/12/1997)

in dreams i wonder
what you will taste like, some day
when our worlds collide

love night
(03/12/1997)

long before the dawn
the daisy-chains have withered
in your warm embrace