Hmmmm...what's irritating RAV this week? CHAIN LETTERS! (ok, this irritates me on a regular basis, but there are some times when it irritates me more -- and this is one of those times)

Ok. Let's start with "Chain Letters 101," shall we?

What is a chain letter?

If the email does not include a directive to "forward this to everyone you know," then it is likely just a harmless story/joke someone has decided to send to you. What is so insidious about a chain letter? If it says "forward this to everyone you know," it is a chain letter, no matter how legitimate the subject matter. People consider it an insult to their intelligence to be told that "you must forward this to X number of people or else..." (and other BS of that nature). Busy people with "lives" also have little time for attempts to incite paranoia with unsubstantiated virus warnings and other hoaxes; it wastes our time and irritates us to no end. With me, it has gotten to the point that I take time out to verify and debunk each one that comes into my mailbox. Going to places like www.snopes.com (hoaxes) and www.mcafee.com (lists both legitimate viruses and hoaxes) is the fastest way to do this.

Sounds pretty easy to spot a chain letter, virus hoax, or any other type of hoax, now doesn't it? How can anyone possibly be this stupid?!! Not one, but two chain letters appeared in my email box this week. And both of them were from people I cannot tell off the way I'd like without serious repercussions. One was from a family member, and one was from my boss. (great combo, huh?) Another problem with this is that both of these people sent the emails FROM WORK. Do you think, as office managers, they are being paid to send chain letters? Hell no!

I mean, do their brains fly south for the winter, or what? The chain letter I got from my boss was a virus warning -- a virus warning that McAfee labeled a hoax A YEAR AGO! Then my cousin sends me a chain letter that actually admits to being a chain letter! *RAV utters string of Italian curses, whether she knows what they mean or not*

So my cousin sends this letter asking me to sign my name (and address! how safe is that?) in support of a petition about the suffering of women in Afghanistan. Even if I didn't verify this with www.snopes.com (Snopes reported last year that the names from this "petition" are not even being collected), I would have known it was a fake. Ok. So there are people out there who think that a petition over email (email! think how easy a list of names can be to fake even if it wasn't coming from the anonymity of the internet) is going to have one iota of effect on something of that magnitude? I just shake my head at these people. Sure, there are women suffering atrocities and injustices in Afghanistan, but if you really care, you don't just hit the "forward" button on your email and think that it actually makes a difference: you make a REAL effort, like contacting your own government or asking humanitarian groups what they are doing about the issue.

I try to tell them, but they never learn. Anyone care to make a bet who actually bookmarked the site when I sent them to www.mcafee.com or www.snopes.com versus how many forgot my advice by the next day? Didn't think so.

They should take my advice and use more discretion. Do my family and friends think that I am kidding? Do they think I am exaggerating? I try to warn them. Sending chain letters can get you in serious hot water, and your internet service can be shut down in a heartbeat for it. In addition, the immediate danger is that every time you add a list of email addresses to one of these chain letters by not using BCC (blind carbon copy), you compromise the email addresses of everyone on your list. Lists of email addressees attached to chain letters are easily (and often) harvested for spamming, mass marketing, more chain letters, and other not so nice purposes (mass virus infection, stalking, etc.).

I really do try to warn them, to tell them for their own good. I try to tell them that I'm not the only person out there who hates chain letters so intensely. I try to tell them that they will catch hell for their actions. How angry does it make some people to receive chain letters? Well, here is a quote from a friend of mine:

"People...and I do use that term loosely...like that deserve to be taken out and shot, buried, dug up again, and f**ked by a herd of horny wildebeest until their corpse is ripped into a thousand pieces. These people shouldn't even breathe the same oxygen the rest of us do. At least we can take comfort in knowing they are prime candidates for future nominations to the Darwin Awards."

Ok. So we're not all that intense about it. But I don't suggest that you catch me when I have PMS...

I'll end with a little anecdote on that...

Last year, I was receiving tons of chain letters from my teenaged cousin. I sent her numerous letters explaining the dangers of doing so, and that she could even lose her internet service if she wasn't careful. At the very least, I asked, please remove me from your list. But she would not listen. One day, I reached my breaking point. I forwarded a complaint to her internet provider and to Hotmail. Very soon, I received an ICQ from her. She was crying that Hotmail had threatened to shut down her account for violation of terms of service. The said they had received an abuse complaint about her sending chain letters. I think it was then that she FINALLY realized the gravity of the situation: she was really lucky it had not been a phone call from her internet provider threatening to shut down access to the internet...because after all, who controls a teenager's internet account? Even if the account had not been shut down, her parents likely would have barred her from the computer for almost getting THEIR account suspended. By the way...she finally stopped sending chain letters (at least to me, anyway).

And that was my reaction to a family member! I was nice and tolerant at the beginning. I actually tried to help her out by sending information on chain letters a bunch of times before giving up my efforts to make her see reason. At that point, I resorted to an attempt to get her account nuked for abuse. I may have had to play hardball, but at least she learned her lesson. I will not tolerate chain letters, no matter who sends them. Call it the internet version of "Tough Love."

Don't play around with chain letters...eventually, they will come back and bite you in the ass. It probably won't be due to a complaint from me, but even so, I will have no sympathy for you. If someone calls your bluff about sending chain letters and your internet provider shuts you down for abuse of terms of service, you deserve it for being so careless.
How do you avoid all that? It's easy: NEVER send chain letters. Period.

(Next week: RAV rants about spammers, the other scum)







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