K-Team News
Find out what everyone's favorite schmucks are doing with themselves.

Last updated: January 12, 1999

The Graduates

Keith-as of January 1999

The undeclared leader of the K-Team is now pursuing a career in theUnited States Air Force. As he has been doing since June 24th 1998, when he left for basic training. Some of his letters he wrote me were a riot. You could almost hear him screaming like a girl as he wrote them. But he's adjusted to military life, and is now (oh God) working on high explosive missle warheads. He came home on leave in late October and a fun time was had by all. He left for duty in England on November 9, 1998, where his tendancy to break things will be a problem for the British. In a year he managed to break over a dozen household items at the DeLucia home. He also broke Rossy's truck twice. But we still love the guy and are looking forward to his return home next summer. Recently Keith took a holiday in Paris for Christmas.

Mark D.-as of January 1999

The other undeclared leader of the K-Team is now attending classes at Indiana University of Pennsylvania, majoring in psychology. He now ponders the meaning of being 19 years old. Mark quit his job annoying people by phone and is now pursuing a career as a bum. As it sometimes does, life threw him curve ball in the form of a late tuition bill complements of his Dad. Now looming on the horizon is the threat of a semester spent in Emporium working rather than in Indiana learning. As always Mark "tries to take things with a grain of salt," this is going to require a big grain of salt.

Ben (Neb)-as of February 1999

Ben has also pursued a career in the Air Force. He left for basic training on August 31,1998. After basic training, he left for tech school on October 20, 1998 if I'm correct. He will be serving as a crew cheif on F-16 Falcons. Recently he informed us that he has become an equal opportunity hater. He hopes to be stationed in either Area 51 or near Virginia Beach. When he gets a hold of an armed F-16, he plans to bomb Emporium. He said he'd warn all the people he liked before he did it. His long term plans are to establish a good retirement fund, and start his own country with no stupid people in it called Bensylvania. After spending a week home for Christmas, Ben returned to tech school in Texas. In March he is getting stationed in Arizona to complete his schooling and start working on jets.

Matt-present

Matt is doing absolutely nothing constructive with himself. Except earning money, which is kind of constructive, I guess. He procrastinated with his financial aid forms and has to wait until the fall of 1999 to attend classes at Pitt. He had a job over the summer at a factory but he quit that because he thought he was going to the Air Force. But he changed his mind at the last minute. So now he's living the easy life at home and working at the local Uni-Mart. Where he just got a raise. He'll be going to the University of Pittsburgh in August of 1999 to major in electrical engineering.

Dirk (Baa)-as of December 1998

Dirk is a student at Gannon University, majoring in software engineering. There he has taken up rollerblading, and swearing at little kids on the internet. He moved out of his old room to get away form his roommate who was paranoid and obsessed with internet porn and Beanie Babies. Now he has another roommate to freak out. Fellow K-Team member Matt refuses to go anywhere near Dirk when he is holding something sharp.

Eric (Turkey)-as of December 1998

Eric also goes to Indiana University of Pennsylvania. He majors in Biology Education. At college his primary goals are to score with some chicks(which he hasn't done yet), and get an education. Eric's roommate Bill is a complete slob. This makes the normally tidy Eric very upset. He's always yelling at Bill to clean up, but he never does. For some reason I have no trouble imagining Eric getting out of bed and stepping in a cake that Bill left on the floor. Eric is spending alot of energy trying to figure out a way to get out of his room. So far all he can think of is moving into the student lounge. A very heart felt good luck goes out to Eric.

Rosco-as of December 1998

Rossy left a life of putting up produce at his dad's store to pursue an undecided major at Temple University He sits in his room and writes papers while his roommate makes fun of him. He tells people to look for him when he skates, but he never skates. He has a 1964 Pontiac Grand Prix and he loves it more than life itself. It's shiny and red, and the interior smells like the bathroom air freshener in Uni-Mart. Anyone who has ridden in it describes it as a different smell. It's not a bad smell, I guess it could be called a distinguishing odor, or something. Ross went through low-rider withdrawl and plastered the website with big shiny cars, and now calls homself Ross-Cube and Adross

Cathy (Crazy Cathy)-as of October 1998

Cathy has hit a speed bump in her life as of late. Last month she left town to attend Gettysburgh University. She began to adjust and was there for four days. Then on the fourth day she was called tho the financial aid office, there she was told that her financial aid was not approved and she had one day to pack up and leave. It was at this point that Cathy probably told the advisor where he could stick his financial aid. She came home and quickly came up with a back up plan. After spending some time in Massachusetts Cathy is back in Emporium. Where she plans to go from here, I have no idea.

Jen-as of October 1998

I have no idea what the hell Jen is doing with herself. As far as I know she will be going to a business college in Pittsburgh some time in October. I think she plans to stay in an apartment with some of her friends from Emporium. That's all I know.

The Other Guys

Isaac (I Suck)-as of January 1999

Isaac has been working at the store and complaining about how he can't get any chicks. He has found a new hobby though. Now in his spare time he chases Michael around for no apparent reason. It doesn't take much for Isaac to scare Michael. all he has to do is yell "MICHAEL!" and try to touch him, and then Mike runs screaming for the hills. These chases usually last for about three to four minutes. It depends on how long Michael can run. Isaac runs seven miles every day for no reason, so he can run for an undisclosed amount of time.

Julie-as of October 1998

Here's an interesting one. At the end of the 1998 school year, Julie left the festive town of Emporium to live in State College for the summer. There she worked for some kind of telemarketer company (she probably called your house while you were eating dinner, my Dad hates that). Anyway, she left that job in the middle of July if I'm not mistaken and went to Maine where she lived in a tent and bathed in a river. There she took up a job harvesting blueberries. When she left that job her and some of her vagrant friends traveled the northeast by hitching rides on cargo trains. Her travels carried her all over New England and even into the exotic country of Canada. While in Canada she hung out with some anarchists and even went to Anarchy University, or something. Some how she found her way back to Emporium right before school started. Call her a hippie when you see her.

Rob-as of December 1998

Rob has been working at the store and skating. He recently had his first college experience when him Keith and Matt came down to IUP for the weekend. In the best interest of my developing carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much go to Rob's Whoopass Web Page and find out more about the lovable Rob Reed

Teenie-as of January 1999

Our buddy Patrick is now unemployed. He was caught misappropriating a box of toaster waffles at work and his position at Olivett's grocery store was terminated. He now spends his spare time at Ben Stuarts house, and cruising in his Subie. He still proudly holds the class rank of 69th.

Cameron-as of February 1999

Cameron is keeping up the K-Team tradition working at Olivett's. He plays basketball for the CCHS Red Raiders varsity team and talks to his girlfriend on the phone all the time.

Michael-present

Michael is working at Burger King and playing video games. That's it. As for future plans, he plans on going to college and majoring in software engineering.

More to come