From: "De Fish!"   
To: where.its@.co.uk
Subject: lolita blowfish
Date: Thu, 02 Jul 1998 07:58:16 PDT

hi all

i am still in this prison of my own devising !

time has been scarce as i am being let out every now and then to look 
for work to pay for the 'privilege' of staying in this cell.

when i get time i will email you all and continue with what has happened 
to me over the past few weeks.

happenings off the top of my head :

- getting on the channel 5 live audience mailing list and then sitting 
in on the live filming of open house with gloria hannaford outnumbered 
by old grannies 30 to 1 (yes it is that kind of show)
- getting things thrown at me at trafalgar square after england's loss 
to argentina
- finally catching up with chris from mt. maunganui and getting him to 
shout mea steak finally, cost 12 pounds !
- headbanging along with goldie at the final night of metalheadz at the 
old venue (but did not join in his attempts to get everyone to do a bit 
of handwaving)
- spotting a mile off an old gay guy trying to pick me up (so obvious, 
he looked just like a friend of mine)
- catching the maroki mori exhibition $%^&* amazing !
- attending maori exhibition at museum
- been in jail 7 nights in a row (i will provide full explanation of 
this soon)
- winning 20 pounds in a music quiz !

okay this weekend is princes in the park concert then howard jones 3 
days later.

i will be missing out being an extra in the filming of that movie, doh !

love
df


To: princess.diana@royals.co.uk
Subject: Princes Trust Concert In The Park @ Sunday July 5th 1998
Date: Mon, 17 Aug 1998 08:30:29 PDT

[this was written way back when and since then I've been told it's been 
televised on New Zealand Television]

  Awake at 4am go back o sleep awake at 9am feel knackered !
  Ring up Allie and plan to meet at 11:15am in Speakers Corner at Hyde 
Park. Gates open at 11am. Concert starts at 1pm. 

  The ride on the tube is a good indicator of the crowd expected. Ww 
walk a little way and turn the corner to view 1000s of people lining to 
get in. It takes an hour to get in and get our bags searched, a common 
thing when entering any event or nightclub. We have to ditch ALl 
bottled. bugger !  Bang goes my bottle of Coke, I smash the glass and 
slash the guard's face. yeah you wish.  I just shake the bottle and open 
it and chuck it gushing on the pile along with the water bottles etc, 
that'll teach those goddam faggot evian drinkers [name that quote]

  Whilst waiting Allie makes a comment that we're surrounded by "white 
trash" (which come up several times later when we discuss londoners in 
general. What prompted it this time was that the people surrounding us 
were just talking shit ! bollocks ! 
  Anyway we survived that conversation - luckily the english are too 
proper and mannerly to say anything back to us ;-)))
  OKay so we get in at 12:40, first thing is to find the toilets and 
plan a place to meet if we get parted. The toilets are nice and clean 
but to be safe I did bring along a toilet roll !  As she had some 
hygeine horror stories to say about the Glastonbury Festival which I 
won't repeat. She grabbed hold of it as I was only going to do number 
ones !  During breakfast I downed 6 galsses of water in preparation of 
what would be a long hot one.  So we did all that and then the task lay 
before us of getting a good view.

  There were large screens but I always like to be as close as possible. 
We make our way up to about 100m from stage and slightly to the right of 
it. We're tallish so during the day I have a generally clear view of the 
stage bang on eye level !   Luckily, sitting/ sprawling/ agitating right 
in front of us is a cerebral palsy outing so no one comes up to obstruct 
our view !

  The concert starts bang on 1pm - whilst 1000s are still outside. The 
audience numbers 100,000. MCs during the day are Capital FM djs. Should 
mention the concert is for charity for the Princes Trust which is sort 
of like Young Achievers. All performers do so for free.  First bad news 
is that the first act Simple Minds can't make it as Jim Kerr has food 
poisoning in Germany so we get Gary Barlow first.

  Here's the setlist and comments :

Gary Barlow - [song], long winding road, pray, back for good, never 
forget.
lutricia McNeal - ain't that just the way, my neighbourhood, stranded. I 
enjoyed this set as the other non-single song was an upbeat r'n'b track.
The Corrs - never loved you anyway, what can I do, dreams.
Julian Lennon - saltwater, then it stopped halfway through the second 
song due to sound problems, feck !
shania twain - [song] still the one, saved
tina arena - chains, [song]. At this Point Allie leaves on a drink and 
food mission and it is the last I see of her.
connor reeves - 4 songs which I've forgotten, he doesn't get airplay in 
NZ anyway so you won't know them, but I could be wrong. he is a white 
south londoner doing soulful r'n'b tinged tunes.
boyzone - [song],[song], father and son, baby can I hold you, words.

BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK 

eternal - don't you love me no more, power of a woman (with various 
muscly dancers/gymnasts doing their thing), angel of mine (backing track 
obviously off cd), gonna be the only one.
del amitri - [3 songs], roll with it, always the last to know.

David Duchovny comes on to promote the X-Files film and introduce...

Natalie Imbruglia - big mistake,[2 songs], torn, wishing you were here.
[During this act the bright lights and smoke put a strain on the 
generators on our side of the stage and black smoke billows from it 
which is worrisome]  I didn't enjoy this act as the other songs were 
boring, sctually so is torn.....
des-ree - feel so high, you gotta be, life. I got bored with this as 
well.

Stephen Fry comes on to a lukewarm response to introduce hrh prince 
charles to great and long applause. 

b*witched - c'est la vie

To a great buildup All Saints come on as fireworks blast from the stage. 
Everyone is eager to see Mel C's pregnant belly and she doesn't 
disappoint. We all hope she doesn't jump around too much. The tabloids 
have a fieldday next day. This is their 1st performance in front of a 
paying audience in the UK - as opposed to being in award shows and 
meeting politicians etc.
SONGS : I know where it's at, bootie call (new single which gets a 
lukewarm response), under the bridge, never ever, lady marmalade.

All have fine live voices. I want to take a shot of Mel C's belly on the 
big screen but decide to grab Shaznay holding a long note on the end of 
"Never Ever".

 Linford "lunchbox" Christie comes on and gets us all to break the world 
record for loudest scream - which we do, so a book is passed around for 
all to sign ;-)

Louise - let's go round again, around the world, naked.
Unfortunately the sound system/cd goes slightly bung and we can see she 
is miming !! but we give her a good applause anyway.

Whistle Down The Wind - A L Webber is bringing out a various artists 
album rather than a cast recording (thankfully). The album features 
Meatloaf, Bonnie Tyler, Boy George supposedly.
So here is what we're treated to :
Tina Arena - whistle down the wind
boyzone - no matter what
Tom Jones and the LCGC (London Community Gospel Choir) - open the vaults 
of heaven.
Remember in my review of the actual show I said the opening song was a 
great started with a choir, well this is the song.

His band now comes on to perform :
it's not unusual, hard to handle, delilah, you can leave your hat on, 
kiss.
This is the most enjoyable set of the day, the most dynamic and most 
appreciated performer. Everyone gets into it and sings and dances along 
and I spot one bra making its way to the stage. On Kiss on the "I think 
I'd better dance now" bit he lampoons various famous dancers.
The crowd is warmed up now and ready to move.

Lionel Ritchies - dancing on the ceiling, say you say me [tears come to 
my eyes as all the crowd and me singalong], time, all night long.

ultra nate - crazy, new kind of medicine, free.
someone should shot her. okay not her fault, but naturally the music was 
from a cd or dat tape and the equalisation was really bad and very very 
high on the bass and gives me a headache.

the mavericks - [3 songs], dancing the night away, [song]
an upbeat rock'n'roll /cajun band.

Cast from Saturday Night Fever - staying alive, boogie shows, disco 
inferno, [2 songs].

END

 The concert was supposed to finish at 8:15pm. It finished at 8:30pm so 
imagine if Simple Minds has played. I scavange round and grab some 
bottles of coke and chips, some bottled basically 7/8 still full. 
Remember that I've been in the same spot for 7 hours ! DAMN !
They're all outta souvenir programs and they looked really good too. 
sad......as sad as if I had missed a Marc Almond concert. find a phone 
box and phone up Allie, she got home at 6pm. She had got the food but 
couldn't find me again in the crowd.

Get back to the hostel at 9:30pm with AOR music in my ears, a tune in my 
heart and the vision of beautiful white skin burning red.....

  
From: "De Fish!"   
To: this.will.make.ya@blood.run.cold
Subject: ENGLAND vs ARGENTINA match JULY 12th 1998
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 1998 06:31:09 PDT

[okay this is long overdue, it happened 6 weeks ago and I never wrote 
any of it down so from memory here goes :]

I watched the game through the windows of the POLAR BAR, a New Zealand 
pub on the edge of Chinatown. Surrounded by passerbys and homeless 
drunks. A bearded guy next to me says that regardless of the outcome the 
town will be "alive" tonight - and he meant it in a negative way as 
well.

  After the game which was full of crying, prayers and tears and 
gnashing of the teeth I headed to Trafalgar Square.

"it happens every fuggin' time...."

  It was getting dark.

  There was already a large group of revellers on Nelson's Column on the 
BANK side of it singing "Three Lions" and "Vindaloo", all white - all in 
white while the photographers and tv crews looked on.  Tourists are 
looking on with bemusement.  On the road there are 6-8 police vans. 
There is no police presence on the square as such.

FUN 

I decide it'll be fun to try to get on there and join in the revellry. I 
head to the quiet WHITEHALL side. The steps are about 2 metres high so 
as I am trying to get a foothold and jump on, a guy shouts uglily :

"You're not british, fluff off".  

"But I am! (y'know whitta min)"  (me in a fake mancunian accent).  

He has a go at me with his foot and misses. 

"Flugg you quiont!" I shout with two fingers emulating that great 
britisher Winston Churchill.

One of those handheld roadblock signal lights comes flying my way and I 
swerve out and head to the more populated side again to the safety of 
the crowd. The light comes flying out again and lands a metre in front 
of the lady in front of me, she ducks for cover as does everyone else. 
If there were more people crammed in here someone would've been damaged. 
The next day the thought actually passed my mind that it could've been 
aiming for me again. 

  The crowd is still very vocal - they all look like good old typical 
nice english boys and girls.

  A young scotsman wearing a green scottish team shirt tries to get on. 
Some of the crowd jump down and turn on him, luckily he is only knocked 
to the ground and sat on. In tears he is rescued by the police who all 
leave their vans now.

  Near me there are three (by the sounds of it) upperclass people. 
"let's go talk to this riffraff" one of them says and the two guys 
approach two australian girls and try to endear themselves to them. The 
upperclass girl wearing a flimsy slip jumps into one of the fountains 
and is soon joined by other young revellers. Under my watchful eye she 
is encouraged by the press who swarm over there to strip off topless and 
she does. The crowd roars.

  The crowd is now on the BRITISH GALLERY side, some jump off again and 
do a conga line chanting "les go fuggin' mental!!" the crowd passes by 
me without incidence. Some boys are kicking a ball around, it comes my 
way and I deftly punt it back to the owner.

  Space is limited on the column and every now and then someone falls 
down. I see a girl in a skirt fall on her arse and then stagger off. 
Something happens, I don't recall what, but the crowd surges again and 
quite a few people fall off again, a guy falls off the lion. Many people 
go to help him including a mute polish (?) guy as well as a First Aid 
instructor. His ankle is snapped at the joint and I can see his knee 
bone sticking out through the skin. His face becomes paler over the 20 
minutes it takes for the ambulance to arrive. It may have been shorter 
but times is slow....

  There is another crowd surge that alights onto the ground heading out 
towards the Canada House Corner. Along the way I see a tabloid 
journalist get pushed over and corralled into a street light. During the 
night there are other similar incidents. 

  A chicish woman who looks like Toyah aged 35ish strips off to the 
delight of the crowd. She climbs the other fountain with her boyfriend 
and they start to strip off. The crowd heads that way and a few guys 
climb to the top as well and piss off the top or do a downtrou. All the 
photographers rush over and ask her to take it all off or turn their 
way. I grab a (tasteful) photo here as the flashes are good enough for 
my little camera.  The police move onto the column now and stop anyone 
else getting on. Some say the lady was a ploy as once the police move 
she puts back on her clothes and staggers off.

  The crowd is in front of the column on the GALLERY side. Naturally a 
few bottles come flying out. Until finally the police rush in and grab 
two guys. One 20ish white guy and a teenage black boy. The crowd goes 
crazy but not that crazy. And a small crowd follows the police as they 
escort them to a van. 

  The chanting continues whilst many people still play in the fountains. 
When the crowd gets down to just five and heavily outnumbered by the 
police I decide to leave at the same time they do with the english flag 
proudly held aloft.


I bet I've forgotten something......



From: "De Fish!" 
To: golly.gosh@wow.wow
Subject: un petit mal
Date: Wed, 22 Jul 1998 17:04:44 +0100

hi all !

thanks for your email, sorry to have worried you.

though i should say i am still in jail !

a great friend who works at tv3 emailed me and the email censors here
picked up on it so now i am treated like "the sensationalist media
rubbish scum wot killed the lovely her royal highness diana wot everyone
redblooded englander would want to take back to mother... mother...
mother... how you treat me so... frigid bitch wife ... c'mere... biff
biff"

(not to be confused with biffer he got out for good behaviour, he
brushed his teeth).

So as you can see I am getting the brunt of son-mother oedipedal
fustration here in the clink...

so yeah, thanks a lot !

Last week me and vis (pronounced veece) went to 'audience
parti-cipation' rocky horror picture show. so we were shouted at, warped
at, riced at, gyrated at, squirted at...........

Vis is a cambodian from wellington, we get on pretty well and make a
funny pair. we're too laidback for our own good. he smokes, takes about
sex and bodily excretions all the time, i just talk bodily excretations.
how we ended up at the movie is cos we were supposed to see off allie in
brixton for a final drink but missed her....
doh !

Tonight I will head out to see my fave male vocalist : Marc Almond !

cuddles till next time !