Alone I sit,
the music playing,
the world at my finger tips,
all those before me, all those ahead,
those whose lives were strong
those who would be happier dead,
I sit to think, can I blame myself,
in my own mind I can, but logically I cant,
the silly fool I am, to believe I could,
perfection I strive for,
I may see what no other does, from but two words I can see more then any other,
they wonder how I do it,
there question I can not answer,
I do not know how I do it, and maybe I never will,
the few things I do and take pride in, that come close to perfection,
painting, poetry and not much else,
but by my friends I will always stand, close by, in front, blocking those painful blows,
I seem to care not for myself, and many a day I don’t,
myself I view as worthless, unless I can help another,
write a word of script, paint a figure alive,
these are what I do well, and can take pride in, for they come as close to perfection as I ever will,
so I see that, and smile for joy I bring,
if they hate it, or are confused by it, I do not care
this world breaks me to pieces, smashing me to the floor,
my grave its dug,
like a rag doll I am placed in it, the dirt they start to throw,
yet life comes back, I feel my arms,
rising up, hit in the face, I strive to live,
I know my worth, yet it is denounced my many,
jumping from the pit I live in to often, that depression that decides my fate,
those gods above that hate my life, they strive to force my death,
the way they kill, my death in my own hands,
yet there I never go, from stone to stone I leap,
my life goes in steps, up and down, never evening out,
the highs the greatest, the lows the worst
yet with leaps I can stay above, maybe never return to my hell,
this all plays out, my battles to be fought,
so many before, so many ahead, yet none the same,
so strange a cause that presides over us,
never forcing, at least know by us,
but do I feel I am me, or am I all that exists,
would be a waste if I was, cuz so much I will never understand
so much I will never do, for to much is out there,
I will never do it all, and nether will you, in this life or any,
forever I have lived, an ancient in mind and blood,
the best of the best, but never seen as it,
they see themselves as the worst, as do I,
I shouldn’t, and from now on who knows, maybe not,
cuz I do what I can, and should always try for more, but never hate because I cant.