Will Slashley become Ashley again in time to save the world?
Will Tyk take over Togo and Belgium too? Or will it be the
home of the Teletubbies, England? Only time, and my mind,
will tell in the next edition of "ETT-Rok".
e
*Jamie Note: the following chapter makes no sense. It is by far my worst chapter yet. The only reason I wrote this was so that I would have some transition to get Ashley over to where Brian was, and to start Tyk's taking over the world. This contains an alcohol reference, but no cursing*
It was two weeks before Brian could get any one to listen to him about Tyk. South Park had started to come on, and his buddy Ann was not home to talk about it with him. So, he was bored, and turned to news. The news dude said, "Today, the citizens of Andorra, are happy over their new leader 'Lil Tyk. The President of the United States has no comment on the dog's new reign." The voice of Ashley went through Brian's mind, "Listen, Bri, when he starts to take over Andorra call me. Until then get mental help." He hurriedly called Ashley's roommate who told him that she was at some old people party.
So, Brian went to where her roommate had said the old people were. He spied her talking to a tall guy (but then, both he and Ashley were "vertically challenged," so everybody was tall). "So, he says, 'You don't have to take them for walks all you have to do is hold them out the window and squeeze.'" They both laughed, and Ashley looked around asking were Lave was. The tall guy said she probably was asleep. Ashley bumped into Brian going into the house, "Hey Brian, did Tyk take over Andorra yet?" Brian told Ashley, "He did! He actually did! I'm serious, check the news!" Ashley shook her head, "I didn't watch the news, South Park was on." Brian mumbled some very un-nice words about Ann.
He followed Ashley into a bedroom (shame on you for thinking nasty thoughts), and saw a little kid lying on the bed. Ashley leaned over and asked her where her "Drunkle Glen" was. She said that he was in the kitchen. As they walked to the kitchen, Brian asked about "Drunkle Glen." Ashley told him it came from "Drunk Uncle Glen." Brian met Glen at the table, chugging down a bottle of white wine. "Hey Glenny," Ashley said. "Gimme some." Glen passed over the bottle, and said, "You're not going to turn into Slashley, are you?" Ashley shook her head, "No that's only with cheap wine." Before Glen could say anything, Ashley took a swig, and gasped, "Oh no, cheap wine!" Ashley started to turn a weird shade of dark blue, and Glenny yelled, "Oh no, she's turning into Slashley again!" Brian looked over at Glen, "With a name like that, she could either fight crime or be a stripper."
Slashley (remember, she changed) started to throw plates around, and Glen was too drunk to catch them. So, that left good old Brian to catch them. Glen laughed and said, "Run, Brian, run! Do you like shrimp?" *Jamie note: that was a Forest Gump take-off* Brian grabbed all of the plates, and put them up. "How long does it take her to get out of this mode?" Brian asked Glen. "Oh, 'bout a day, she quits right after her hangover." Brian shook his head, "Oh boy. Come on Slashley, hey, I've got a nice car you can destroy. Would you like that." Slashley nodded happily, "Wreck a car, or old people party…hmm, I think I'll pick the car." Glen nodded as the left and told Brian, "Slashley's really sarcastic."
So, Slashley got in the car, and totally wrecked the transmission (Brian had one of those Driver's Ed cars, and who doesn't want to just hit the breaks as the other person starts- hey, it's funny). She also gave him her "Hoo Moos" theory. Her grand-uncle had died saying "Hoo Moos," so this was her theory, "Hoo Moos is actually a religious question. Hoo Moos as in, who is the moose? As in who is the large mammal. As in who is the large being? As in who is God? See…" *Jamie's small tribute to Mad About You's last episode* However, they finally arrived at Brian's "pad" and Brian helped Ashley in. He remembered when she had first found him, and kicked him because she thought he was a drunk. How ironic, she was the drunk now….