I don't know what's love ... How many times has Nick said these words? How many times has he hidden behind these words? just for shyness, for insecurity or fear of make a mistake, he has never imagined aloud what this feeling could mean for him...But something has happened, something has changed in his heart since the last time we talked with him about love, girls or pasion: Lately my life has changed a lot. I have had more time for myself, I have grown up and I have discovered things that until very recently were completely unknown for me. Will he be speaking about love? Nick doesn't want to go into details, but it seems that the rumors about the reencounter with a very special friend were true. They were seen in Orlando last summer, going for a walk, on shopping or having fun with some friends. However, Nick is convincing when he explains how the things are right now: I'm not dating with nobody. Now I'm surer than before, that in my life there isn't place for another love that isn't my love for music. Love is something very delicate, it needs time and dedication. And I can't give this to a girl... he says with some shade of sadness in the eyes...
The Big Secret
But this summer something marked a before and a later in his life. A discover, a first time that he'll never forget: I have lived something very beautiful, very exciting... but also painful ¿Painful? The word doesn't tally us, but Nick goes on: When you are famous, is very difficult to know what people are looking for about you. Above all the girls... I thought to have found somebody who doesn't mind my fame, but I made a mistake. And find out that what she really minds about me is to be with a BSB, not with me, hurts very much... But, as Nick says: Everything get over. If there is something that I have learnt is that the bad times make you stronger. When my classmates rejected and made fun of me, I went on with my dream. And for a disappointed I won't stop to believe in love... AJ told me once that the hardest blows can also be pushes that help you to advance and I think that he is totally right...
Closer To Us
But, do all this mean that Nick's heart has become hard? No, at all!. I keep searching that ideal love, but now I have clearer what I want. I want to find a normal person, modest and above all good-people. SOmebody intelligent, with her own ideas and her own dreams... If he never gave importance to the external appearance, Nick has now even clearer that the most beautiful thing of a girl is inside her: I don't like the girls very made up. Or the girls who smoke or drink to be made interesting. I'm tired barbies that think they are perfect... What I really mind is that they are honest. That they are themselves without worrying of what people are going to say or do... While we are listening him, a thought came to our hearts: when he talks about that perfect girl it's seems that he is talking about one of us. Girls that would defend her love for him against everything and against all... He agrees with us: I feel much more closer to any of my fans than to the singers, actresses or models that I have met along my career. Some of them are fantastic, but I don't know... their world is too superficial Nick admits. When we ask him how he feels to be one of the more wanted guys in the world, he says It's very strong to think that there are a lot of girls who have my picture in their rooms, who look at me every night, who talk with me... you know? I don't know if I deserve all this. Sometimes I read a letter from a fan and I think: "Oh my God, nobody will never love you as much as this girl, and I don't know her". Is something exasperating and wonderful at the same time... Exasperating, wonderful... and amazing. When Nick reads our letters feels almost the same that us when we writing them: that strange mixture of happiness and desperation, of hope and anxiety. Really his heart is not so far from ours...
Ready For Love
Every love's stories always leaves traces. And Nick's heart already has small scars : My first kiss affected me enough. I was so nervous and afraid, I thought she would feel that I was a beginner. It was sweet, but I was waiting for something more, I don't know... Maybe that she told me: "I have liked it" that she hugged me... something like that, but she didn't say or do nothing... And I felt broken... Then, Nick tried not to think too much about love. His career, his family, his friends have always been the most important thing for him and he has never let himself be carried by the desire or passion: I don't believe in that. Passion is good when there is love, but sex for sex doesn't interest me. Also, I couldn't make out with a girl just for fun, I wouldn't know how to start For sure I would make a mistake!.. And he recognizes that he's no as shy as before I'm not shy as before with girls, now I believe more in myself and I can give two kisses without turning me red, It seems a small thing! but for me is a big step! . But there are things of Nick that , luckily, will never change: I will never exploit being famous for flirt more. I couldn't looking for one night affairs just for make my hotel room less cold. I have been a lot of time fighting with the yearning or with the loneliness, but I have my tricks to win that battle: the TV, my videogames, the phone, writing, drawing... and "my brothers", of course..
Nick doesn't seem to be in a hurry for tie his heart, but... What would be happen if the true love knock at his door? For me, true love is like my parents feel. They have struggled together, have shared a lot of good and bad things, they have been always very close.. This is what I want and, as I have told you before, it isn't easy... And, letting a sigh out, he adds smiling: It doesn't happen anything. I know that that love will come some day to my life... and I can wait
Translated by: Me (Lidia) (sorry for the spelling mistakes, I did my best :)
Article from Super Pop mag Nº549, Abril '99
