Ramblings (poems)
"dedicated to you from despair"
by melissa genova
I dedicate this scar to you.
It came from the pinnacle of despair.
I'd give you the world if i could,
But all i have is a hell.
I dedicate this bruise to you.
It was made by my own hands.
I'd give you the moon if I could,
But it's my only light.
I dedicate this blood to you.
You took it when you could.
I have given you all I could,
But it's too late to take it back.
#
"Ode to anyone" 1/29/98
by: melissa genova
The wind blows right through your ears.
Listen, Listen! Do you hear what it is saying?
It whispers songs and secrets I don't want to hear.
I'd rather be... I'd rather see...
All your wasted prayers on me
Died before they reached your god.
No flowers for me, no flowers for me.
Not even a weed.
A million pennies I've wasted on wishes.
A million dreams wasted on me.
A billion tears I've cried for nothing.
15 years of life I've wasted.
Beautiful, beautiful, I wish i was beautiful.
All you do is stare at your mirrors.
I wish i could break them!
I'm sick of looking at myself
And wishing i were someone else.
By the way,
You wasted your hatred on me.
No flowers for me.
#
"Dare to hate the dreamer" 2/9/98
by: melissa genova
Once my angel, you sent me to hell.
From the fire, I've been scarred,
Or have you?
Hate the dreamer who asks for a wish.
Hate the lover who no longer lives.
hate your past - not as much as I.
Hate me - forever till you die.
Kiss her - as you once did to me.
Deny it all you want if it sets you free.
Hate her - you don't know all you think.
All she sees are people's backs
Because that's where she spends her time.
She swallows her own lies like the pills i nearly drank.
You swallow them like the blood you took from me.
I know more about you than you -
So she claims all was a lie.
So she says, so she says.
Hate you - you made me what I am.
Hate her - she doesn't know what she is.
I sing my depressive melodies -
It's all I know how to sing.
Hate the dreamer who asks for a wish.
Hate the genie who grants it.
Hate the lover who no longer lives.
Shatter the dreamer's glass...
to a million peices...
to create me.
#
Jelly Beans and Apathy (angel's revenge)
by: melissa genova
They betrayed me
And all I've ever lost
Has been brutally ripped from my hands
Due to a dark angel's revenge.
And though I've tried to be strong,
I've lost too much to be an avenger.
Maybe now you can see the reasons of my apathy.
I'm tired of the rejections and betrayals.
All your sympathies and condolences can't help.
Don't bother wasting them.
They will never make up for everything.
You'll never wake me up
To see the sun rise again.
I'll never believe in the truth.
I've swallowed too many lies.
They tasted delicious
Until i woke up the next day drenched in pain.
And all this I have felt,
Alond as I've always known i was.
My reasons for new found apathy you'll never comprehend
All my feelings of failure, you can't understand.
And all those lights I see and fail to follow
Are just too bright for me.
All that you'll never understand
Is all there is to me.
#
For the moment
by: melissa genova
A vampire's spell, a baby's laugh
A whispered poem, a shaken song
all signs of a lost innocence,
drained to it's last waking prayer
Sing to your children another lullaby
Tell them another tale
Time is running out and they must live
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the life (they have little of it)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night.
A phantom's dance, an angel's cry
Just another lulluby to delay
The tears of a raven
So dance my little dear,
Don't let time take you
Be the doll I know you are
Be the devil you want to be
Sing the song you've dreamed of singing
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night (it's nearing day)
For your life I fear you've wasted.
#
Red Gun 3/24/99
by: melissa genova
I've said my goodbyes
My kisses i've blown
I've heard all their cries
But what have i shown?
A stone white face
With pale blue eyes.
I feel disgrace
I feel such desires.
To them I now exist
Only in their heads.
I enter a world of bliss;
So finally I'm dead
The last thing i remember
The last thing that I saw
was the shining silver glare
And my skin red and raw
The pain, though love, I feel no more.
And just remember me dear friends
Wipe your flowing tears galore
Your world is full of bitter ends!
I blow my last kiss to you
Before i pass on by
Your life is precious, you have much to do
...have i finally died?
#
"Emerald City" 4/7/99
by: melissa genova
I have to tear myself away
From the emerald drops dripping
and the azul skies that pale
the bluest of the eyes.
I must depart from the secrets
and the mysteries locked behind dungeons cold.
I hate hiding from these childhood dreams
buried deep inside the beauty's crypt
so comforting in its old age.
The world so green beckons the song
of its children, begging for my return
Time erased the innocence
painted away long ago
Yet the faery tales still hold true.
The skies unwind and the darkness parts
So that the starry angels may peak through;
Heaven is so glorious
as it blesses this world with its rays.
To think harm could evolve
amongst the peeking legends.
To discourage the true colors
Because of its past is absurd.
It's night begs to hold the morning light
And the faeries play their childish tricks
as the sweetest sky fills their lungs.
It's secrets are hidden;
so give me the key
So that i may feed
these stories to my children
#
"The forgotten man" 4/7/99
by: melissa genova
The fear has destroyed the inside of me
As wonder haunts my regreeting soul
and whoever thought such a small mistake
could have cost me my life.
Fate plays with cupid
and begs me to unwind
The gold chase me to a field
where the stalks are taller than my frame
and chuckle when i get lost.
Damn the empire that plays my soul
as if a marionette hanging, burning,
wishing, yearning, dreaming, screaming,
living, giving, lying, dying.
Such a huge mistake that a
small choice could make.
And if i said "hi" to everyone in the world
Would it make me a better girl?
Oh the power i could gain!
Oh the life i could live
But i can't breathe out the
dark smoke clouded in my mirror.
I can't grab the courage i need.
Blame me for a terrible world
Blame your courage you lack
#
all poems copywrited (c)1999 By melissa genova
"Ode to anyone" 1/29/98
by: melissa genova
The wind blows right through your ears.
Listen, Listen! Do you hear what it is saying?
It whispers songs and secrets I don't want to hear.
I'd rather be... I'd rather see...
All your wasted prayers on me
Died before they reached your god.
No flowers for me, no flowers for me.
Not even a weed.
A million pennies I've wasted on wishes.
A million dreams wasted on me.
A billion tears I've cried for nothing.
15 years of life I've wasted.
Beautiful, beautiful, I wish i was beautiful.
All you do is stare at your mirrors.
I wish i could break them!
I'm sick of looking at myself
And wishing i were someone else.
By the way,
You wasted your hatred on me.
No flowers for me.
#
"Dare to hate the dreamer" 2/9/98
by: melissa genova
Once my angel, you sent me to hell.
From the fire, I've been scarred,
Or have you?
Hate the dreamer who asks for a wish.
Hate the lover who no longer lives.
hate your past - not as much as I.
Hate me - forever till you die.
Kiss her - as you once did to me.
Deny it all you want if it sets you free.
Hate her - you don't know all you think.
All she sees are people's backs
Because that's where she spends her time.
She swallows her own lies like the pills i nearly drank.
You swallow them like the blood you took from me.
I know more about you than you -
So she claims all was a lie.
So she says, so she says.
Hate you - you made me what I am.
Hate her - she doesn't know what she is.
I sing my depressive melodies -
It's all I know how to sing.
Hate the dreamer who asks for a wish.
Hate the genie who grants it.
Hate the lover who no longer lives.
Shatter the dreamer's glass...
to a million peices...
to create me.
#
Jelly Beans and Apathy (angel's revenge)
by: melissa genova
They betrayed me
And all I've ever lost
Has been brutally ripped from my hands
Due to a dark angel's revenge.
And though I've tried to be strong,
I've lost too much to be an avenger.
Maybe now you can see the reasons of my apathy.
I'm tired of the rejections and betrayals.
All your sympathies and condolences can't help.
Don't bother wasting them.
They will never make up for everything.
You'll never wake me up
To see the sun rise again.
I'll never believe in the truth.
I've swallowed too many lies.
They tasted delicious
Until i woke up the next day drenched in pain.
And all this I have felt,
Alond as I've always known i was.
My reasons for new found apathy you'll never comprehend
All my feelings of failure, you can't understand.
And all those lights I see and fail to follow
Are just too bright for me.
All that you'll never understand
Is all there is to me.
#
For the moment
by: melissa genova
A vampire's spell, a baby's laugh
A whispered poem, a shaken song
all signs of a lost innocence,
drained to it's last waking prayer
Sing to your children another lullaby
Tell them another tale
Time is running out and they must live
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the life (they have little of it)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night.
A phantom's dance, an angel's cry
Just another lulluby to delay
The tears of a raven
So dance my little dear,
Don't let time take you
Be the doll I know you are
Be the devil you want to be
Sing the song you've dreamed of singing
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night (it's nearing day)
For your life I fear you've wasted.
#
Red Gun 3/24/99
by: melissa genova
I've said my goodbyes
My kisses i've blown
I've heard all their cries
But what have i shown?
A stone white face
With pale blue eyes.
I feel disgrace
I feel such desires.
To them I now exist
Only in their heads.
I enter a world of bliss;
So finally I'm dead
The last thing i remember
The last thing that I saw
was the shining silver glare
And my skin red and raw
The pain, though love, I feel no more.
And just remember me dear friends
Wipe your flowing tears galore
Your world is full of bitter ends!
I blow my last kiss to you
Before i pass on by
Your life is precious, you have much to do
...have i finally died?
#
"Emerald City" 4/7/99
by: melissa genova
I have to tear myself away
From the emerald drops dripping
and the azul skies that pale
the bluest of the eyes.
I must depart from the secrets
and the mysteries locked behind dungeons cold.
I hate hiding from these childhood dreams
buried deep inside the beauty's crypt
so comforting in its old age.
The world so green beckons the song
of its children, begging for my return
Time erased the innocence
painted away long ago
Yet the faery tales still hold true.
The skies unwind and the darkness parts
So that the starry angels may peak through;
Heaven is so glorious
as it blesses this world with its rays.
To think harm could evolve
amongst the peeking legends.
To discourage the true colors
Because of its past is absurd.
It's night begs to hold the morning light
And the faeries play their childish tricks
as the sweetest sky fills their lungs.
It's secrets are hidden;
so give me the key
So that i may feed
these stories to my children
#
"The forgotten man" 4/7/99
by: melissa genova
The fear has destroyed the inside of me
As wonder haunts my regreeting soul
and whoever thought such a small mistake
could have cost me my life.
Fate plays with cupid
and begs me to unwind
The gold chase me to a field
where the stalks are taller than my frame
and chuckle when i get lost.
Damn the empire that plays my soul
as if a marionette hanging, burning,
wishing, yearning, dreaming, screaming,
living, giving, lying, dying.
Such a huge mistake that a
small choice could make.
And if i said "hi" to everyone in the world
Would it make me a better girl?
Oh the power i could gain!
Oh the life i could live
But i can't breathe out the
dark smoke clouded in my mirror.
I can't grab the courage i need.
Blame me for a terrible world
Blame your courage you lack
#
all poems copywrited (c)1999 By melissa genova
For the moment
by: melissa genovaA vampire's spell, a baby's laugh
A whispered poem, a shaken song
all signs of a lost innocence,
drained to it's last waking prayer
Sing to your children another lullaby
Tell them another tale
Time is running out and they must live
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the life (they have little of it)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night.
A phantom's dance, an angel's cry
Just another lulluby to delay
The tears of a raven
So dance my little dear,
Don't let time take you
Be the doll I know you are
Be the devil you want to be
Sing the song you've dreamed of singing
For the moment (so sweet time takes)
For the dream (there are so few left)
For the music (can you hear it?)
For the night (it's nearing day)
For your life I fear you've wasted.
#