Oh To Live Again
Written By: Kris

"I'm warning you, don't come near me. I mean it. You take another step and I'll jump. I mean it." "Holly, please listen to me. Come down off the ledge and we can talk about whatever is troubling you. Come on. Just step down off the ledge." "AJ, I don't want to talk. I want to jump." Holly said as she took another step towards the ledge. "Come on baby. Just tell me why." AJ begged and pleaded, his heart filled with terror. "AJ, I am so very unable to go through life anymore. I don't have you here for me and--- and---and" Holly was crying now and took another step towards the ledge. "And what? What aren't you telling me Holly?" AJ asked her. "AJ, when you broke up with me, my life ended. I am jumping and you can't stop me. I mean it." Holly stood on her tip-toes and prepared to jump. AJ reached his arms out to pull her to him. When he did, she jumped and he caught her shirt barely. He stood there grasping her shirt, hanging on for dear life. The look on her face was one of sheer terror and surprise. "AJ! Let me go! Please, just let me die." She told him. "No, I can't let you do that Holly." "AJ, I have to tell you something." "Holly, this is kind of a bad time. I'm trying to save your life here." AJ said. "I'm having your baby." Holly said quietly. AJ let out a surprised noise but didn't let go of his ever slipping grasp of his ex-girlfriend. He attempted to lift her on the ledge. On the fourth try, she slipped from his fingers and plumeted threw the night air twelve stories down. "AJ! I LOVE YOU!" She screamed as she fell. AJ now stood all alone on the ledge with tears running swiftly down his face.

"AJ! Where are you?" Nick yelled for AJ. "Stupid fool." he muttered to himself. Nick, AJ's best friend was waiting in the hall now for AJ to open the door to his apartment where he was supposed to be getting ready for the inner they were having at the Carter's house that evening. Nick walked over and pounded on the door again. "AJ! Let me in buddy!" Nick screamed throgh the big wooden door. To Nick's surprise, the door opened and AJ stood there in a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt. "Hey buddy? Why ain't ya dressed yet? You didn't forget about the dinner we have with my mom tonight did you?" Nick asked. AJ just stared at him in response. He looked very pale and sickly. "What's wrong buddy?" Nick asked, suddenly quieter. "Its--It's Holly." AJ said with a shaky voice, his eyes filled with tears. "What? What's wrong with her?" Nick asked, obviously oblivious that there was anything wrong with his beloved sister. "She--Nick, she's dead." "WHAT?! What do you mean?" Nick asked. "She killed herself this afternoon. About four hours ago." AJ said as tears rolled freely down his face. "Come in. Let's talk." Nick walked in quietly sobbing. "Oh my gosh...If only someone could have been there with her.. Maybe she wouldn't have done it." Nick began. "Nick, Your sister and I were here together." AJ stated. "What? What do you mean?" "I came home and my door was open. I walked out onto the balcony expecting to see a burglar. There she was, standing on the edge of the ledge. I walked a little closer. She threatened to jump if I came any nearer. I didn't go anywhere then. I tried rationalizing with her. But she gave me the impression that she was doing it all because of me. She told me that when we broke up, her life ended and that she couldn't go on. I told her just cause we broke up didn't mean I didn't love her anymore. But she started to jump again. I reached and grabbed her just as she was going off the ledge. I grasped her shirt, clinging for dear life. She started telling me stuff. She told me to let her die. I told her no. I couldn't let her die. She suddenly started slipping. I felt her slip completely out of my hands. And she fell. Screaming the whole way down. Oh my Gosh. I wish I could awaken from this nightmare. I pray that I wake up soon." AJ said. He looked at Nick who continued to softly sob. After all this was his sister. (Author's Note: Nick has no sister named Holly. I thought her up for the fan-fic). "Does my mom know?" Nick asked quietly. "We couldn't find you, her, or your dad earlier and I wasn't about to let them have Aaron or Angel relay the message to her. She should just be learning about it." AJ said softly. "Nick, do you want to talk?" AJ aksed compassionately. "No thank you. I'm all right. It's just, she was only twenty... Why? How could she die? Why did she see it fit to do this? Oh, I need to sit down, I feel dizzy." Nick said as he sat on AJ's bed. In ten minutes, he had cried himself to sleep.

There are fifty million people here, AJ thought to himself, and yet, I feel so alone. He looked over to his right, where Jane, Bob, Nick, and Chelsea (Nick's girlfriend) sat. Jane and Nick were crying. Bob sat there emotionless. There was no open casket. There was no casket at all. The result of the fall was so bad, the body was not fit to be looked at. There were a lot of people here whom AJ didn't recognize. He assumed they had gone to school with Holly. To AJ's left sat Brian, Leighanne (Brian's girlfriend), Jackie and Jennifer (old friends of Brian's), Kevin, and Sherrie (Kevin's girlfriend). AJ looked around a little more. There were many people crying. But, to tell the truth, AJ couldn't cry anymore. He had cried all his tears away. Now the space in his heart grew bigger day by day. He blamed himself for her death and was very depressed. As AJ continued looking around the room, he observed a scene he wished he'd never seen. He saw Jane Carter collapse into her son's arms. As if on instinct, AJ rushed over to aid Nick in settling her on the pew. Nick had now stopped crying and was obviously worried about his mother's well being. When Jane was finally revived, half of the people had gone home. The ones left now were AJ, Brian, Kevin, Chelsea, and Sherrie. Leighanne, Jackie, Howie, and Jennifer had all gone home to be with Aaron, Angel, Leslie, and BJ, who had not attended their older sister's funeral. "Where am I?" Jane asked groggily when she'd awakened. "Mom, you're in the funeral home. How are you feeling?" Nick asked. "Terrible. What happened? Why am I here?" Jane asked. "Well, Holly killed herself two days ago.." Nick began. "No son. I know that. I mean, why am I lying on this pew? What happened to me?" "Oh. Well, you went to the bathroom. When you came back, you just suddenly collapsed in my arms. You scared me to death mom. Are you sure you're okay?" Nick asked her again. "I'll be fine. I just want to go home. Nick, will you take me?" Jane asked him. "Yes ma'am. Dad? Are you coming with us?" Nick asked quietly, unsure of what his father's answer would be. You see, Jane and Bob had been having trouble for about a month and a half. Bob had moved out and taken Aaron and Angel with him to his mother's home where they'd been living for about two months now. "I think I'll go home son. Are Aaron and Angel okay with you at the house today?" Bob asked him. "Yeah. They're fine. Bye dad love you." Nick said. "Love you, too." Bob told Nick. Nick walked Jane out to his car and they got in and drove off in silence. Chelsea asked AJ if he could give her a lift home. He obliged and bid farewell to the others.