Something Bad Happened to FARLIG HUND
JAS MICHAK
He's been feeling especially fearsome lately. He keeps on leaping out of dark corners, and scaring Ophelia. Jas also keeps on having these past-life regressions where he thinks he's a naughty school girl from the 1880's.
T. OPHELIA MORES
Lately, she's been eating defatted and dessicated liver. She's supposed to eat powdered spleen too, but why go crazy?
ELMOSIS OSMOSIS
Elmo now has all of her shots, so is now ten pounds of pure healthy fury, and death on four feet. She also had a lizard tail hanging from her bottom lip today which caused all kinds of cross-species trauma.
VOLPONE
Our resident superhero . . . He can fly, and make people's brain vibrate with a glance. He also has x-ray vision, and uses it for dirty purposes.
MISS VELVETEEN
She thinks that she should be first on the list, because she doesn’t have a last name, she just "*I*S*."
OUR SPECIAL GUEST
MORBY
Our guest poet for the month is a delightful fellow who spends his time reading, listening to angry music, and gardening. He prefers Sharpies to any other type of marker, and is another Boba Fett fanatic. Morby is currently working on a novel which is about halfway completed. He also writes horror stories and poetry.
The basics are:
Opie—-vocals, keyboards, mandola, alto recorder (I found a picture of James Dean playing one!), bass, programming, keyboards and BANJO.
Jas--guitars, bass, keyboards, programming
THE CAUTION CHILDREN
This project is our industrial side. Well, for lack of a better word--it's industrial. It's very haunted house.
FRAIL
This is the gothier side--but it's more fairy tale music.
We have a variety of influences, but that doesn’t mean that we really sound like some of them. In other words, we’ve noticed that people seem to be on a lookout for a new band that sounds like an older band. We sound like ourselves . . . and besides, it is books and movies and people and growing up in Florida and in the Phillipines, and all sorts of other ragged crap that mesh into a cohesive unit. Some of us like cheesy 80’s metal, and we are proud of it. VAN HALEN RULZ! Opie grew up surrounded by folk music. Her father opened for Peter, Paul, and Mary once. We all have had relatives that play the organ. We like porn. We believe in Faeries. We sing along with Cab Calloway. We sing along with Nina Hagen. We (try to) snarl like Billy Idol. We wear clothes that have been on dead people (SHOP AT SELPULCHRE—vintage from Edwardian and Victorian times to the 80’s). We like vampires, but zombies and horses scare Ophelia. We would lick the feet of Emo Phillips for FREE. We like London After Midnight. We watch Star Wars and Star Trek. We love “Coffy.” Jas watches many movies. Opie reads like people watch TV. We all complain too much. We eat fruit off of trees. We listen to Balinese Gamelan music and Skinny Puppy. We like Josephine Baker and Betty Page and Pam Grier and Louise Brooks and Bette Davis.
We like beat poetry—“get that violin out of that horse’s mouth . . .”
We love “Young Ones.” We love The Damned. We adore drag queens. We appreciate poodles. We like rats. We like cats. We like bats. We like Grover the best. We like lunchboxes. We like things that glow-in-the-dark. Argyle socks are preferred. We drink beer. We talk in funny accents when we get drunk, and even when we get sober. Our hair varies in coloration, but not all of it is our natural colours. Our roots show. We like Ernie Kovacs, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Weird Al, and Our Lady Judy Tenuda. Our feet get dirty. We like Silke Bischoff (the band). We don’t understand Beanie Babies. We use cheap gasoline. We like Sandalwood, and this perfume made from the sex glands of moths. We think spray air is really neat. We like toys. We like Charles Dickens. We like Pre-Raphaelite paintings, especially ones with Lizzy Siddal. We like the Middle Ages, but we wouldn’t want to live back then, BECAUSE we love antibotics. We like horror stories. We like rubber band fights. We like snappy comebacks. We like bad puns. We have really weird dreams with Ophelia’s being the strangest. We wish our lives had background music. We get obsessive. We get paper cuts. We like sleaze. We are also sleepy.
COMMENTS WELCOME