Dog Washer Woman

I met a girl at the campus radio station
She had blonde hair and a big black dog
She was really tall
She played basketball
I asked her for a date, and she said "why not?"

She handed me her number, and I called her on the phone
She told me where she worked, when I gave her a ride home
I asked what were her days off, and she told me what they were
But then she said she had to wash her dog

Dog Washer Woman
Says she'll go out with me
She could be my woman
But she spends her days off washing her dog
(She's washing her dog)
She's washing her dog
(She's washing her dog)
She's washing her dog

A month later, at the campus radio station
She sat down as I gave her a massage
I played her CD's
I stared at her knees
I asked her if she'd like to go eat out

I handed her my number and she called me on the phone
I asked her for the times when she would be alone
I asked if I could see her, and she told me that I could
But then she said she had to wash her dog

Dog Washer Woman
Says she'll go out with me
She could be my woman
But she spends her days off washing her dog
(She's washing her dog)
She's washing her dog
(She's washing her dog)
She's washing her dog

(instrumental break)

A few months later, we had drifted apart
And that was when I finally learned the truth
Although she had to be somewhere
When I'd try to go out with her
She'd slept with all my friends at the campus radio station

But please don't get me wrong, because I wasn't that in love
She wasn't that attractive and she did a lot of drugs
But if I could have had her, it would help my self esteem
'Cause it hurts when you turn women off so much,
That you can't even get
A slut to touch you!

Dog Washer Woman
Said she'd go out with me
Could have been my woman
But she spent her days off screwing my friends
(She's screwing his friends)
My butt-ugly friends
(He's got ugly friends)
She was kind of a slut
(She was kind of a slut)
She had bad taste in men
(She had bad taste in men)

(Dog Washer Woman)
She was kind of a slut
(Dog Washer Woman)
She was kind of a woman
(Dog Washer Woman)
She was kind of a washer
(Dog Washer Woman)
Yeah, she was kind of a dog!

HISTORY: Shortly before Adam Lindquist (who, soon after, changed his name Adam Winfield) left Elmira for college classes at Oneonta, he got me and Amelia together at this house to watch TV and make impromptu recordings (into his computer) of various songs. I used this as an opportunity to jot down a song, which we then recorded (despite it being only 3/4 done at the time). During the taping, I made up the melody, Adam made up the chords, and we ended up with an almost-complete composition. Over the next month, Adam and I finished the lyrics and added an ending. We then recorded a full version of it in February 2001. As of this writing, the complete version is slated to appear on a bonus disc to be included with Adam's 2001 CD, "Last Impressions".
Lyrically, the song is an upbeat look at the non-success with friends and dating that I experienced during my second year at Corning Community College (mainly the Fall 1996 semester).