after all this time, I strain to believe
that the road I chose would bring me here
that the plans I made would grow this far
that as lost as I am, I have won your heart
as I wished upon reflected light
from a distant sky on a coldish night
I had never known this hold would come
from a love like those in the tombs of dreams gone
with a wave, I stretch my former fist
with a wind, I blow my lover's kiss
and I find, when distance turns to small
I smile to lips that return the call
with an eye behind and one ahead
I can see my life is worth what is dead
after all this time, I choose to believe
that a heart as yours could choose mine of me.
PUBLICATION: Scribblings, Fall (December) 2000, SUNY College at Fredonia.
HISTORY: The second of two poems that my girlfriend helped me submit to the Fall Scribblings issue, I wrote this while relaxing at my computer. It expresses my amazement at how, even after all the mistakes I'd made in the past, I could still find someone to care about me romantically. After making the artistic decision to capitalize none of the words within it, I sent the poem to Cindy, who submitted it (under my "R.J. Sadbac" alias) to the mag. Cindy also submitted two of her own poems, which also appeared in that semester's issue.
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