Taking time

Recently I had a really, really unpleasant experience. Hey, it happens sometimes. Usually, when people tell me, "Have a nice day," I answer, "I always do." Because I do. But...

I've had a rash of things occur that caused me economic distress, and had to really just work my #@% off to get on top of things. I had to take a non-music job for about three months, which involved long hours, long hours in a car, a lot of paperwork; money I couldn't afford paid out for which I'd be reimbursed, hopefully; working too many days in a row (17 at one point), etc. Well, work is good, and my family needed the money.

At the end of it I had to jump right back into the regular grind, rushing off to spend a week in a studio working on a new CD (don't ask when it'll be finished, I don't know at this point!), and then rushing back to continue the regular home life and all the usual work of gardening, mowing, etc. Do I sound like I'm complaining? I love my life, 'cause I work at something I love, using what gifts God gave me... and I love my wife, my children and my friends. But I'd been pushing myself too hard for months on end, with too little rest, too little enjoyment of my life. I was getting too aggravated at my wife and children, and Lord knows they are the joys of my life.

Just too much energy put out in too many different directions, too much time in a car, at a computer, working in the yard and garden, running too hard for too long... No time to enjoy my family, no time to read the Bible, commune with God, build up my inner self.

Well, to make a long story short, I paid the price for it. At first I thought I was just tired from busting along at such a pace. Then, when the pain started, I thought I was just so run down that the old hepatitis was trying to rear its ugly head again. But no, it was kidneystones.

Now, I don't know a lot about kidneystones, but I had one before and it was a truly awful experience. I lived on a farm then, and spent five days just suffering through the process of passing it. I spent a lot of that time just laying out in the open, or walking around the fields if it hurt too much to lay still. But it did pass, and I figured this one would, too. But no such "luck"; I ended up in the hospital. You know, when I was young I would have really enjoyed the drugs they gave me. But when you NEED the top of the line painkillers, they ain't much fun.

Well, I'll spare you the details. I'll just say it was truly horrific, and on a scale of one to ten the pain was a 17. I couldn't even keep down water! I was so dehydrated that they couldn't get blood samples from me at first, and ran I-V liquids into me as fast as possible for about 15 hours. But there was a silver lining to this cloud, besides the painkillers and the fact that it did eventually end.

I had time to read the Bible, pray, read uplifting things, instead of worrying about work and how to get the money to pay the bills and retube the amps at the same time. Once the pain was under control I could relax a little, sleep, read and pray, sleep some more. I caught up on my sleep, but I was reminded that there is no catching up on being uplifted; no catching up on loving my wife and children; no catching up and reaching a limit to taking the time to show my family I love them, telling them out loud that I love them, thanking God for giving me all that He has.