Give Me Convenience or
Give Me Death
1987 LP
Police Truck/ Too
Drunk to Fuck/ California Über
Alles/ The Man with the Dogs/ In-Sight/
Life Sentence/ A
Child and His Lawnmower/ Holiday in Cambodia/
Night of the Living Rednecks/
I Fought the Law/ Saturday
Night Holocaust/ Pull My Strings/ Short
Songs/ Straight A's/ Kinky
Sex Makes the World Go 'Round/ The Prey/ Buzzbomb
from Pasadena
Police Truck
Tonight's the night that we got the truck
We're goin' downtown gonna beat up drunks
Your turn to drive I'll bring the beer
It's the late, late shift no one to fear
And ride, ride how we ride
We ride, lowride
It's roundup time where the good whores meet
Gonna drag one screaming off the street
And ride, ride how we ride
Got a black uniform and a silver badge
Playin' cops for real/playin' cops for pay
Let's ride, lowride
Pull down your dress here's a kick in the ass
Let's beat you blue 'til you shit in your pants
Don't move, child got a big black stick
There's six of us babe, so suck on my dick
And ride, ride how we ride
Let's ride, lowride
The left newspapers might whine a bit
But the guys at the station they don't give a shit
Dispatch calls "Are you doin' something wicked?"
"No siree, Jack, we're just givin' tickets"
As we ride, ride, how we ride
Let's ride, lowride
Too Drunk to Fuck
Went to a party
I danced all night
I drank 16 beers
And I started up a fight
But now I am jaded
You're out of luck
I'm rolling down the stairs
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk
To fuck
I like your stories
I love your gun
Shooting out truck tires
Sounds like loads and loads of fun
But in my room
Wish you were dead
You ball like the baby
In Eraserhead
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
It's all I need right now
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
Too drunk, to fuck
I'm sick soft gooey and cold
Too drunk to fuck
I'm about to drop
My head's a mess
The only salvation is
I'll never see you again
You give me head
It makes it worse
Take out your fuckin' retainer
Put it in your purse
I'm too drunk to fuck
You're to drunk to fuck
Too drunk to fuck
It's all I need right now Oh baby
I'm melting like an ice cream bar
Oh baby
And now I got diarrhea
Too drunk to fuck
Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah
Oooohhh
California Über Alles
I am Governor Jerry Brown
My aura smiles
And never frowns
Soon I will be president
Carter power will soon go away
I will be Fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will meditate in school
California Über Alles
Über Alles California
Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face
Close your eyes, can't happen here
Big Bro' on white horse is near
The hippies won't come back you say
Mellow out or you will pay
California Über Alles
Über Alles California
Now it is 1984
Knock knock at your front door
It's the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool neice
Come quitely to the camp
You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don't you worry, it's only a shower
For your clothes here's a pretty flower
Die on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will crack, you little clown
When you mess with President Brown
California Über Alles
Über Alles California
The Man with the Dogs
I am no one
But I'm well known
For I am the Man with the Dogs
I stare at you shopping
Watch while you're walking
Two dogs run around your toes
You turn around
Two eyes break you down
"Now, who does that guy think he's starin' at?"
Stop in your tracks
You're being laughed at
You armored ego is nude
And I do and I do
Crack up 'cos I'm getting to you
I see you I see you
And you're pretty self-conscious too
Down to your church
I'm looking for victims
Spell of the Man with the Dogs
I'll haunt you
And follow you to work
That ghost is back again
Creep into you
I won't go away
You're taking yourself too seriously
I smile as you frown
And turn to walk away
Your habits for all to see
I see a shrew
I see you
And the rodent things you do
You see you I see you
And you're pretty self-conscious too
And I'm gonna crack your mask
Yeah and I'm gonna laugh
Open wide
.
Saw you again
You'll see me tomorrow
Curse of the Man with the Dogs
You may not like me
You won't forget me
Not safe even in Walgreen's
They've seen me
Ask your friends
'Oh I know him'
Seen but I'm never heard
By your lot
A stare
Is worth a thousand biting phrases
See how stupid you are?
I dare you I dare you
To erase my laser tattoo
You see you you see you
And you're pretty self-conscious too
And I'm gonna crack your mask
Yeah, and I'm gonna laugh
What's inside?
Is it pubic hair
Is it cobweb air
I bet you just don't care
In-Sight
Who's that kid in the back of the room
Who's that kid in the back of the room
He's setting all his papers on fire
He's setting all his papers on fire
Where did he get that crazy smile
Where did he get that crazy smile
We all think he's really weird
We all think he's really weird
Chorus
We never talk to him
He never looks quite right
He laughs at us
We just beat him up
What he sees escapes our sight
We never see him with the girls
We never see him with the girls
He's talking to himself again
He's talking to himself again
Why doesn't he want tons of friends
Why doesn't he want tons of friends
Says he's bored when we hang around
Says he's bored when we hang around
Chorus
We're all planning our careers
We're all planning our careers
We're all planning our careers
He says we're growing old
Life Sentence
You used to be a partner in crime
Now you say you ain't got the time
Gotta get serious, gotta plan
Gotta pass those entrance exams
Oh my God
It's senior year
All you care about is your career
Chorus
It's a Life Sentence
It's a Life Sentence
It's a Life Sentence
It's a Life Sentence
You're squelching your emotions
All you talk about is old times
You don't do what you want to
But you do the same thing everyday
No sense of humor
But such good manners
Now you're an adult
You're boring
Chorus
The walls are closing in
You stayed too long in school
I'd rather stay a child
And keep my self-respect
If being an adult
Means being like you
Are you really you you you
You you you you you you
Are you really you?
No
You're a chained-up dog fenced in a yard
Don't see much, you can't go far
Pace and froth, you're getting sick
Run too fast and it'll snap your neck
You say you'll break out
But you never do
You're just another ant in the hill
That's your Life Sentence
A Child and His Lawnmower
Some clown in Sacramento was dragged into court
He shot his lawnmower
It disobeyed, it wouldn't start
Might makes right, it's the American way®
They fined him $60 and sent him on his way
You know, some people don't take no shit
Maybe if they did they'd have half a brain left
Holiday in Cambodia
So you been to school for a year or two
And you know you've seen it all
In daddy's car thinkin' you'll go far
Back east your type don't crawl
Play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz
On your five grand stereo
Braggin that you know how the niggers feel cold
And the slums got so much soul
It's time to taste what you most fear
Right Guard will not help you here
Brace yourself, my dear
It's a holiday in Cambodia
It's tough kid, but it's life
It's a holiday in Cambodia
Don't forget to pack a wife
Your a star-belly sneech you suck like a leech
You want everyone to act like you
Kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich
But your boss gets richer on you
Well you'll work harder with a gun in your back
For a bowl of rice a day
Slave for soldiers til you starve
Then your head skewered on a stake
Now you can go where people are one
Now you can go where they get things done
What you need my son
Is a holiday in Cambodia
Where people dress in black
A holiday in Cambodia
Where you'll kiss ass or crack
Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot, Pol Pot etc.
And it's a holiday in Cambodia
Where you'll do what you're told
A holiday in Cambodia
Where the slums got so much soul
I Fought the Law (and I Won)
Drinkin' beer in the hot sun
I fought the law and I won
I needed sex and I got mine
I fought the law and I won
The law don't mean shit if you've got the right friends
That's how the country's run
Twinkies are the best friend I've ever had
I fought the law
And I won
I blew George & Harvey's brains out with my six-gun
I fought the law and I won
Gonna write my book and make a million
I fought the law and I won
I'm the new folk hero of the Ku Klux Klan
My cop friends think that's fine
You can get away with murder if you've got a badge
I fought the law
And I won
I am the law
So I won
Night of the Living Rednecks
Ray's guitar broke. No, we won't play Rawhide, won't play anything. We'll
play the theme from the Dinah Shore show. Who wants to be Dinah Shore?
Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore? Oh, his fists didn't go up so quickly
this time. Yawn...yawn..yawn. Put those headphones on, it's be-bop time.
I want to tell you a story about the last time I was in Portland. The
night before we played at the Long Goodbye. I was walking on the street
about 10:30 at night. A lot of people go to bed around here at 10:30 at
night. And well, I was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this
bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor tires, everything
but the CB. It was a life-size Hot Wheels car for some dumb rich kid,
right. Well, they drove up to me and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually
yell, "Hey, faggot," and showered me with some water. So, I stood there
thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock. Now, I waited,
walked down about a block to where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside,
and sure enough they drove around again. They said, "Hey, faggot, where's
the nearest McDonald's?" I said, "I don't know" and they squirted me again.
So I threw the rock and put a nice-size dent in their giant Hot Wheels
car. They screached to a halt in the parking lot of some department store,
who's name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer, and they
got out their clubs and they ran after me, yelling, "We're gonna kill
you, you god damn faggot, we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker." So
I got in a phonebooth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside, held
my legs straight out like this so they couldn't open the door to the phonebooth.
So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with their club,
yelling, "We're gonna kill you, you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you,
you god damn faggot." I just looked at them. So, there was a crowd gathering
by this time and these kids were standing nearby and they said, "Oh, look
at him, he's insane." I thought, ah-hah, here's my way out. I yelled at
them, "Take me to a mental hospital right away. I wanna be be put away.
Please put me away, c'mon, call the cops and put me away. Please put me
away now." They said, "Alright, faggot, we're calling the police." So
they called the police. The cop comes out and I go, ah, my savior, I'm
away from these jocks. He opens up the door, "Get out of there, you,"
throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in the back. Then he
goes over to the jocks, "Now what happened here? It looks like we're going
have to take him to jail but we got to have the full story first" So the
jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the hole [Take down on the bass,
a little bit down on the bass. Yeah], ace in the hole, and they go, "Well,
goddammit, the motherfucker put a dent in my truck, a $5000 truck, right,
so I got my club, I went out and I wanted to kill him. I want to kill
him. Let me kill him, goddammit. Let me kill him." So the cop made them
go home, and he drove me home, and he confiscated their club and my rock
as further evidence. And I thought, so this is Oregon, huh? Tolerent Oregon?
Ray, are you done with your guitar yet? He isn't done yet. So what else
do you want to hear, I'm out of stories. That's a true story, too. Just
ask Bruce Loose.
Saturday Night Holocaust
There's a prefab building and a funny smell
Around the hill outside of town
Every now and then we wonder
But we shrug our shoulders
And get back to work
There's a railroad there and trains go by
And there's people locked in cattle cars
And have you noticed
The french fries at the A&W
Taste a little strange?
I drive down to the disco
Pompadour and pink lammé
I bow and blow the doorman
He parts the chain, says join the game
A quick line in the girls room
To the bar for the electrodes
A coin into the right slits
Tape my temple watch me go
Now I want your perfect Barbie-doll lips
And I want your perfect Barbie-doll eyes
Slip my fingers down your Barbie-doll dress
Up and down your spandex ass
If I lit a match for you
You'd melt before my eyes
C'mere my pretty glow-worm
You look so fine to dance with me
The fly-eye lights are throbbin'
I'm burning up the floor
Whirling twirling
Close my eyes
No faces judging me
But I want your perfect Barbie-doll lips
And I want your perfect Barbie-doll eyes
Slip my fingers down your Barbie-doll dress
Up and down your spandex ass
A Hitler youth in jogging suit
Smiling face banded 'round his arm
Says, 'Line up, you've got work to do
We need dog food for the poor'
A scream bleats out, we're herded into lines
Customized vans wait outside
I'm getting scared of my new home
To Auschwitz condominiums we go
Oh no
Now I want your perfect Barbie-doll lips
And I want your perfect Barbie-doll eyes
Let my fingers down your dress
One more time
Pull My Strings
I'm tired of self respect
I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar
I wanna be a tool
Don't need no soul
Wanna make big money
Playing rock and roll
I'll make my music boring
I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist, I'm a business man
No ideas of my own
I won't offend
Or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs
And rock and roll
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!
You'll pay ten bucks to see me
On a fifteen foot high stage
Fatass bouncers kick the shit
Out of kids who try to dance
If my friends say
I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say
That's rock and roll
But there's just one problem
Chorus
Is my cock big enough
Is my brain small enough
For you to make me a star
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far
And when I'm rich
And meet Bob Hope
We'll shoot some golf
And shoot some dope
Is my cock big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
Repeat chorus, etc. etc.
Short Songs
I like short songs
Repeat 13 times
Straight A's
Sixteen, on the honor roll
I wish that I was dead
Parents hate me, I got zits
And bruises 'round my head
Pressure's on to get good grades
So I can be like them
Do my homework all the time
I can't go out just then
People they ain't friends at all
They tease and suck me dry
Yell at me when I fuck up
And party while I cry
I look so big on paper
I feel so fucking small
Wanna die and you don't care
Just stride on down the hall
Suicide suicide
Read the paper, wonder why
Turn the light out, then you cry
It's your fault, you made me die
Touch me won't you touch me now
So frozen I can't love
When I was born my mama cried
And picked me up with gloves
Girls, they kick me in the eye
Want answers to the tests
When they get them they drive off
And leave me home to rest
Hold my head
Make me warm
Tell me I am loved
Give me hope
Let me cry
Make me feel
Give me touch
The window's broken bleeding screaming
Lying in the hall
I'm gone no one remembers me
A picture on the wall
"He was such a bright boy
The future in his hands
"
Or a spineless human pinball
Shot around by your demands
Suicide suicide
Goin' to sleep and when I die
You'll look up and realize
Then look down and wipe your eyes
Then go back to your stupid lives
Aw shit
Kinky Sex Makes
the World Go 'Round
Greetings
This is the Secretary of War at the State Department of
the United States
We have a problem. The companies want something
done about this sluggish world economic situation
Profits have been
running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth
Now
we know there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around
in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police
and damage private property. It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job
It's
about time we did something constructive with these people
We've
got thousands of 'em here too. They're crawling all over
The companies
think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get-togetherAnd
start another war
The President? He loves the idea! All those missiles
streaming overhead to and fro
Napalm
People running down the
road, skin on fire
The Soviets seem up for it
The Kremlin's
been itching for the real thing for years. Hell, Afghanistan's no fun
So
whadya say?
We don't even have to win this war. We just want to cut
down on some of this excess population
Now look. Just start up a
draft; draft as many of those people as you can. We'll call up every last
youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some speed, give 'em an hour
or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle and send 'em on their way
Libya?
El Salvador? How 'bout Northern Ireland? Or a "moderately repressive regime"
in South America?
We'll just cook up a good Soviet threat story in
the Middle Eastwe need that oil
We had Libya all ready to go
and Colonel Khadafy's hit squad didn't even show up. I tell ya
That
man is unreliable. The Kremlin had their fingers on the button just like
we did for that one
Now just think for a minuteWe can make
this war so bigso BIG
The more people we kill in this war,
the more the economy will prosper
We can get rid of practically everybody
on your dole queue if we plan this right. Take every loafer on welfare
right off our computer rolls
Now don't worry about demonstrationsjust
pump up your drug supply. So many people have hooked themselves on heroin
and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like Vietnam. We had everybody
so busy with LSD they never got too strong. Kept the war functioning just
fine
It's easy. We've got our college kids so interested in beer
they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. Put a
nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what it
looked like
So how 'bout it? LookWar is money. The arms manufacturers
tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole
economy is going to collapse
The Soviets are in the same boat. We
all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say?!?
That's
excellent. We knew you'd agree
The companies will be very pleased.
The Prey
You're from out of town
I can tell that by your shoes
Flew in for the convention
Getting tipsy in a bar
You're leaving pretty late
Gotta get up in the morning
Thinking she's just too expensive
And you know you're
Probably
Right
There's no one on the streets
And you can't find your hotel
You walk a little faster
someone's following you
The wallet-size bulge
In your double-knit butt
Has money for me
And maybe credit cards
You dart around the next corner
You can't look around
Quick now, fish for the keys for the door
You don't even know where you are
You walk a little faster
I walk a little faster
Sensing that I sense you
Now there's no escape
I can almost taste your dandruff
As I reach for your face
And I strike
Buzzbomb from Pasadena
Buzzbomb buzzbomb macho-mobile
The road's my slave, that's how I feel
I cruise alone, I cruise real far
Shoo young punk! I love my car
Cross Nevada at a 110
Highway 50 and there's nobody there
Sign says, 'Next sign 30 miles!'
My pension comes
Each penny saved buys more escape from home
I'd rather carouse around all day
Than move into a home
Plow through rest area San-o-Lets
Splat goes the lonely salesman
Still wanking in the men's room
Buzzbomb buzzbomb tape up loud
Lawrence Welk cranked up to 10
Faster faster in my car
Buzzbomb is my pride and joy
King of the trailer court
Waiting for a nice young man
Who'll love me for my car
Who tells me why I'm cool
Tells me just what I like
When I pretend he's here
Shred through Palm Springs across the golf course
Cops 'round here scratching their heads
Flashing sirens, State patrol
uh oh
They're scuffing up the side of my car
They're shooting out my tires
This ain't no way to go to heaven
Buzzbomb cornered at the 7-11
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