Apologies and Penitent Supplication Department
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrring...Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring...Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrring...
*click*
Hello, you have reached the Apologies and Penitent Supplication Department...No one is here right now to take your call, but please stay on the line...
If you are calling from a touchtone phone press 1 followed by the # key for service in English, pour un service en français, appuyez sur le 2, puis sur la touche #.
To lodge a complaint please press the number on your keypad that best decribes your problem...
- If you are a pathetically-pseudonymed moistling that has nothing better to do than complain...Press 1
- If you are completely devoid of a sense of humour and find this page offensive...Press 2.
- If you are a crazed religious zealot who finds so-called religious undertones of this page a sacrilige...Press 3.
- If you are a bandmember (read: David, Mark, Jeff, or Kevin) who is incensed at my treatment of your wardrobes and exploits...Press 4.
- If you are a bandmember (read: Paul) who would enjoy nothing more than sticking a drumstick in my eyesocket...Press 5.
- Finally, if you are Stan coming to assault me with your flashlight...give me a ten second headstart, then you can come and kick my ass!
Thanks for calling the Apologies and Penitent Supplication Department...your complaint will be registered and your apology sent around the same time Jeff's lair freezes over...
Have a wonderful day :)
