The Burger King Tribute Page

Yes, the almighty Burger King...it has it's place in Moist lore and the hearts of the PANTS Minions everywhere...

Long ago Jaded and Embittered discovered one day while at the revered Burger King that two whoppers placed side by side are pretty much exactly the same size as the...um...ass (for lack of a better word) of Mr. David Usher.

Now i must qualify this...they must be whoppers with everything, and Quebec whoppers do not seem to be the right size (NY whoppers are also a dissapointment), although Ontario whoppers work perfectly...

Now, putting aside the obvious question of "how would you know and why do you care?"...this phenomenon has been seen from St. Catherine's to Cornwall and many points in between...

So, Jaded and Embittered began to visit Burger King before every Moist show they attended, to bring good luck to them on their journey. You laugh? The very first time J & E went to Burger King before a Moist show, they: were saved from the freezing cold, allowed to babysit the merch, talked to the guys, and escaped a savage beating by Stan...coincidence? I think not.

So, it became tradition, and now every Moist event is punctuated by a trip to Burger King to worship the great "Dave's Ass" phenomenon, and offer sacrifices to the BK gods for a good show...

Many minions too have joined J & E on their pilgrimage, and they can attest to the information contained here. A Moist show without Burger King is not much of a Moist show at all...

And to the lovely people at Burger King...should you wish to come after me for shamelessly pillaging your GIF's...just try it, after all the money i have thrown your way...there is always another burger joint brother! Have a nice day :)