The mist rose gently off the highlands' grass, reaching its tendrils out to swirl around the base of a mighty tree. A weak sun valiantly fought to make an appearance and push back the mist's but had yet to succeed. There in the early morning light upon that lonely hill stood a tall and might oak. It had seen many seasons come and go as it grew tall and proud, it had once had many brothers and sisters as well on that hill top, but they had not lasted as he had. Some had succumbed to time and others to weather. In the end it was only the lone oak up on the hill. For so long it had sat with only the wind and mists and stars and sun to greet it on that lonely hill. Until one day, when a small troupe of wanders found that lonely hill. Young and eager they strode through the highlands on a journey to a better life. But they were caught in a terrible storm unprotected until they found the mighty oak. As they huddled at its broad base, the oak swayed and moved in the winds. But always it seemed to cover and protect them throughout that awful storm. As day broke and the storm finally passed, the grateful wanders emerged from their safe place and gave thanks to the mighty tree. It came to be decided by the eldest that the great tree had been sent to protect them and that their duty was now to the mighty oak and thanks for the protection that it had provided. So they set up camp and made roots of their own at the base of the great tree. As time passed the great oak flourished with the love and tributes it received from the clan. But as all good things do, it came to an end.

History had not been as kind to the clan as the tree, and warring factions increasingly destroyed the tranquility and beauty of the landscape as wars and fighting increased. The desire to save the clan was strong within the mighty oak and so it planted the seed of leaving the hilltop and finding somewhere safer for the people. Not wanting to leave the mighty oak and its great loving protection the people were reluctant to take this seed. However, those who had come to know the language of 'the leaves' finally showed the clan that this was the wish of the mighty oak. But still the pain was too great for them to leave behind their benefactor of so long that they decided to take him with them. Carefully they dug the main roots from the ground and began to prepare him for transport. Soon it was discovered though, that it was impossible for them to carry this mighty oak and so they turned once again to those who spoke 'The Leaves'. They begged for an answer to their dilemma and the response was, I shall not die for your love gives me eternal life. You can break me but I will remain whole, you can cut me but my blood shall not run out. I'm forever, I am you. And so the decision was made to break the tree into sections, each member of the clan would receive a portion and that way all would be connected. I am with you always, I am you.

With a start, Jack felt himself come awake from his dream. Those final words still echoing in his head. There gleaming in the dying light of the candles sat the desk staring back at him. Almost as though it were begging something of him. I hate you, he thought, I don't know why but I do. Ignoring the dream, Jack turned away from the desk and tried to go back to sleep.

A soft touch to his cheek seemed to wake him this time. As he opened his eyes, he saw the most beautiful gray eyes staring back at him. They were like liquid pools of quicksilver, pulling you deeper and deeper into their silvery depths. I could stay lost in them forever and be happy always he thought. The gentle curve of her lips into a smile brought him back to moment. As she bent down over him to touch her lips to his. The fire of her passion seared his lips and he felt the flames of desire scorch through him, as she had ignited some eternal flame with him. A sensual sigh passed through her lips into him as his arms encircled her and drew her close to him. Her hands crossed a blazing trail down his chest to his stomach and finally to his manhood. As the silken caress of her hands hardened him, he felt his muscles tighten and a slow burning tingle rise inside him. His hands tangled in her hair, he found the thirst for her lips could not be quenched and the ache inside him grew deeper and stronger. Wanting desperately to feel more of her, to be one with her, Jack pulled her onto him and sank deep into her. OOOHHH Lily, my angel, my love. Her heated moans of passion increased and he looked up into her eyes as she hovered above him. My angel, my queen... my life.

Suddenly though, things were changing. As he looked, this was not Lily, he realized. The image faded and coldness crept onto him quickly as he watched. No my love don't leave me! Please... wait... no ...not again!!!! Sitting up he tried to reach after her as she faded back away from him. NO, NO, NO! he called. But it was too late... she was gone and he realized he was alone now... cold and alone. It had been another dream, and he cried for his loss all over again, as he sat shivering in the cold darkness.

Why?! Why did it have to end that way. As he cried he could no longer fight back the memories of that awful day, the day that should have been his happiest and ended up being the worst.

The sun shone hot and bright as Jack finished dressing that morning. The birds chirped happily in their perch and the clan that gathered downstairs could be heard happily preparing as well. It wasn't often that the first son got married, and from the happiness of the couple everyone swore it was true love. Stepping out onto the balcony of the big house, Jack could see that everything was in good hands. Looking off to his left he could see the log cabin and that there was movement and activity already in there. Smiling he thought of how beautiful his bride must look and how he couldn't wait to start their honeymoon. Stepping back into the house, he crossed his fathers room and into the hallway. Servants and assistants bustled around trying to get things organized for the wedding and Jack stepped lightly out of their way. With a mischievous gleam in his eye he headed for the back door. Stepping out into the morning sun, he spotted the worn path to the cabin and headed off. One little peak wouldn't hurt he thought, I haven't seen her in 24 hours and I do so miss her. My love and my life, Lily! Smiling as the name tripped through his head, he stepped up to the little window and peaked into the cabin.

That's odd, a frown coming to his face. Why is my father's coat here. Stepping around to the back door of the cabin, he heard voices coming from within, but he couldn't understand what was being said. Moving closer, he stepped up to the back door. The sound of crying and pleading greeted his ears as he opened the door and stepped in.

The sight that greeted him, sent him into utter shock. There on her knees in her beautiful white gown was his bride to be. Above her his father, hand wrapped around her fragile white throat, her eyes bulging from her sockets and tears soaking her face as she pleaded with him to let her go. Looking to his father he saw the calm cold face of a mad man. Hard brown eyes stared back at him from that face that had once shown such love. What... What are you doing? Jack yelled. Grabbing his father he threw him across the kitchen away from Lily. Then gently pulling her sobbing form into his arms trying to comfort her. Looking up he saw his father once again advancing on them, that cold dead look in his eyes. Without a thought as to what he was doing, Jack reached for the fire poker and swung it at his fathers head. A sickening crunch sounded as the sharp poker connected with the fragile bone of his fathers head. Like a sail with the wind taken out of it, his father crumpled to the floor and the blood flowed from the wound in his head. Horrified by what he had just done. Jack stared down at the bloody poker in his hand. Then turned to Lily, who sat quietly crying at his feet. Her once beautiful wedding gown now bloodied and ruined by the scene that had unfolded. Why? Why? Was all that Jack could say. And the only answer he got were the tears of his beloved. Turning from her he walked out of the kitchen and back to the house. Unconscious of his surroundings, he didn't realize that he still carried the poker in his hand. As he approached the house he saw the happy smiling faces of his family and friends turn to shock and horror as they saw the bloody poker. Walking straight to his mothers room he opened the door, walked in and dropped to his knees at her feet. Like a baby he cried into her knees as he told her what he had done. All the while she patted his head and smoothed his hair back from his wet checks. As he began to quite he heard the whisperings of the others in the room. Its the curse. The desk has chosen another now. She is the one, the one who will bring about our undoing, he had to do it. They are all mad in the end. Like so many swirling streamers in the wind their comments filtered into his hazy mind and added to his confusion.

But as he looked up into his mothers loving eyes, he knew he was safe. It was the only thing you could do dearest, she said with a loving smile. Don't worry everything will be taken care of. Why don't you go rest up now so that you can be ready for the wedding later. Surprised by her words but feeling that she knew best, Jack stood up and went back to his room. As he laid down he thought he would never forget what had just happened,but then a deep sleep over took him and he surrendered into the arms of nothingness.

As though nothing had ever happened and all had been cast into a spell of forgetfulness, the wedding went off happily. Jack couldn't remember now when the idea had come to him that his father had simply disappeared instead of the terrible truth of what he had done. He only knew that that at sometime in the deep sleep he had lost the memory of what had truly happened that morning. And with it he had slowly lost the love of his life as well. Remembering all of it now he could see so clearly all the times she had tried to talk about it, the desperate need in her eyes to have someone confirm what she had seen, to admit that it had really happened and that it had not all just been a dream. How could he have forgotten, how could they all have forgotten? As the madness descended on him he knew now how his beautiful love had felt all those years. The torture of a deep secret that no one could share with you. The agony of doubts and guilt that assailed him, no wonder she had finally given up and let the demons take her. MY GOD how can one bear this torture?

Within the madness came the knowledge that somehow the spell that had been cast on them all had come from so far in the past. Somewhere along the line the family had lost the ability to deal with the truth and accepted a lie in its place, all in the name of happiness and family unity. His tears were uncontrollable now, he thought for sure that there would never be a moment when he could control himself again. Too much pain, too much guilt and too much sorrow for all his past actions and the actions of those around him. He had driven his wife mad and killed his father, this was the secret that he had so long buried. With that realization he knew too that the desk had only been that, a desk. The family secrets were buried deep within himself, not the desk. The key to all was within his head and his heart. The pain in his heart and the ache in his soul drove him to further delve into his mind. But he found that all the horrors and demons of his mind where too much to bear and finally he sank into oblivion of numbness.

As the sun rose that warm spring morning, it lit the desk in its gentle glow. Shimmering in the morning light its presence was even more striking. With a slow crawl the suns rays made their way across the floor of the cabin, until finally they touched upon a pair of feet. Creeping slowly up the legs the sunlight lit the form of a still figure on the floor, staring out into nothing. Unblinking and unmoving sat the figure on the floor as the sun touched its rays to his face and into the eyes of a deadman.

(c) March 6, 1998. Brooke Mayfair