Infatuated With an Illusion
that night/cool night/the memory is so clear/the moon hung low in the black sky/
as the brick buildings touched the clouds/your blue eyes consoled me in the starlight/
my infatuation soared like an eagle/as your smoke rose like incense~your eyes/
an illusion/your lies/an illusion/my dreams/an illusion/you/nothing but an illusion~
your empty words burn like fire and sting like ice/hollow flowery songs you sang/
when the tears drenched my pillow/my broken heart/you never knew/never cared/
my mind is racing/ my heart is pounding/my infatuation~alone again/confused and betrayed/
the memories won't hide/so vivid in my mind/your warm embrace/wide eyed smile/
and beautiful face/can't erase the pain~let me forget/stop haunting my dreams with your crude words/
and selfish ways/the way you gripe and rip/give me a head trip~go ahead with your loose girls/
and fading pleasures/go ahead-see how far you can get/when you reach the end of the cliff/
remember me/the change/the chance/you denied and destroyed/it's too late now~
Eternal Question
my mind wandered like usual/the twist of plot puzzles me/why you came back
after all this time/things are strange and weird/but i like it/everyday
reminders of you creep in/i smile in my solitude/when i read a letter from long
ago i laugh out loud/~i'm glad that you came home/i'm happy that you're different/
things will never been the same/but i'm still grateful~i hadn't seen you in so long/
i nearly passed you by without a second look/then i saw those eyes/i can never
forget those eyes/you glanced my way/and i knew/~sometimes i want to ask why you left/
but i know that things would be hard for us if i did/someday i know you'll tell me/
so i'll just wait for that day
Mud
my dreams are pure like water/his lies are the dirt that muttles me/i'm drowning in his
mud~oh god/can't you save me/oh god/please drag me out/oh god/i can't move/i can't breathe/
oh god/i've turned to mud~my broken heart/me left with no place to start/broken dreams/
nothing lasts the way is should/the memories are shards of glass in my eyes/
sad goodbyes/never to be seen again~i danced on a hill today/trying to forget the past and everything/
i climbed a mountain/tears streaming from my eyes/looking for a place to hide/
i long for wings to fly in the sky~alone i lie here/on the green green grass/
pleading you erase the past because~
Him
again the writing slowly appears on the wall
he closes his eyes tightly so no light comes in all
ever so slightly he takes a peek
but the truth's still be there and will stay for weeks
his heart sinks as he finally realizes the dull aching pain
once again she's used him simply for her own selfish gain
i want to tell him no
i want him to tell her to go
i want her to cry
as he tells her goodbye
paralyzed
your eyes deafen me
make my brain numb
confuse my body
i try to speak but no words will come
you glare with angst
stare with love
gaze at me with your head on the chair
with your emralds
you see everthing i am
study me with vigor
konw my lies and my jewels
my secrets are nonexistant anymore
you know my soul at a glance
i can hide nothing and say even less
help me
without a doubt
i'll win you, make no mistake
smooth and light
calm but tumultuous
i'll slip over you
i'll engulf you
misplace me
gulp it down, my friend
swallow her lies
chew on her deception
become jaded with infatuation
put aside judgement
morals
and common sense
throw away your convictions
forget the people that got you there
forget your past
misplace me
flush, forgotten
in your long-fingered hand, you hold a deck of cards.
poker of the mind is your sport
now that your heart is bruised and slightly bleeding out onto
your blue polyester shirt
your eyes, bluer than usual with the blue shirt reflecting,
glance haphazardly over the cards
wordlessly, you fold your hand of cards
my face was on every card
my eyes looked back at your pained face,
yearning to comfort you
you rejected the only thing that could help you
you folded me again.
no
how many more sleepless nights will you give me?
how many more pathetic poems will you force me to write?
how many more times will i make exceptions for the way you treat me?
how many more hours will i waste crying over you?
how many more months will i stay secretly bitter towards you?
how many?
no more sleepless nights
no more pathetic poetry
no more expectations
no more tears
no more bitter feelings
no
the tiny word i should have told my heart months ago
now it knows
back to the angest-ridden soul of me