His Pleasure is My Pain


   A man stands in the doorway like a small child
   angry fists
   she lies on her bed her head buried in her pillow
   and she stares at the moon
   he speaks to her all the words shes heard too many times before
   and pretty soon she just let's his voice fade away
   

   and she thinks...
   

   This was a gradual steel frost
   that started with cold feet
   and ended with numb hearts
   

   This was once satisfying sex but now no longer is
   

   It was once filled with the possibilities of new china or old stone
   but now it's exagerated and waterlogged no longer what these
   hands had
   intended and still I cry in my sleep
   

   He always said I was too sensitive,
   

   but I say
   

   (chorus)
   

   at least I never meant to make him cry.
   At least I never meant to make him hurt that way
   Nooo I never meant to make him cry
   Never meant to make him hurt that way
   

   Yes it's true, I'm too senstive
   but he takes pleasure in my pain.
   Yes it's true, I'm too senstive
   but he takes pleasure in my pain.
   

   And the unheard hours they fly by
   she goes to the window
   she puts on a nightgown and brushes her hair
   he's already asleep
   by the time she
   

   goes and lays herself back down.
   she thinks
   

   my god, what am I doing hear?
   

   My bones have grown tired of his hunger, of his gray eyes,
   and I feel if I were to stay one more night here I'd die or explode
   or worse yet just fade away.
   There have been days so dark that I felt like august
   and that I soon too would turn to fall.
   he always said I was too sensitive that if I cared so much
   the world could kill me that way.
   I wonder if he's only half alive or if he's simply always been this
   inarticulate,
   cause I say
     

   And she get's out of bed and looks at her feet as though they
   were the wings for her freedom
   she gets up and goes to the door
   it's a moment in which anything can happen
   instead she gets out some clothing
   puts it in a bag and leaves him sleeping
   while she heads for the door.

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