jen schein, queen of lard
Jen is a good friend of mine, and
she is one of the few skinbirds in Columbus, one of the less skin-riddled
places.... Above her shoulder on the left you can see her genuine Fred
Perry tennis racquet, great for going aggro about town. Anyway she goes
to Otterbein with hopes to someday be a card-carrying art fag, drinks her cider veeeerrrrrrry
slowly, and gets her ass whooped when she takes on shopping carts in a
drunken brawl. she also showed me the beauty that is china
nympho cream. she gets MAD PROPS for that. it tastes like
toothpaste. the best thing jen ever did was tell *everyone* on high
street how FAT they all were while drunk, riding shotgun in the now
defunct taurus. she was reeeaal drunk. ahh, and we also would have fun
playing (grand) wizard of words with vanna white supremacy.... but then
they got rid of it and replaced it with some gay ass shit. i hate that
new machine. fuck you "touch-screen". that thing sucks. also,
she introduced me to late-night Denny's, something to which noone should
ever be introduced if they ever hope to maintain a junior-year GPA....
Anyway she is sooo S&M and proud of it. Don't ask me. i doubt i will
ever understand.
haha at the shitty warped tour she got all drunk and was
goin aggro on me, so i was forced to steal her pager. i took off through
the teeming masses, and, naturally, she followed in a drunken hobble...
finally i reached the men's room, and her drunken ass followed me in. there
were these two worthless dirteaters in there, and as we run in one asks
the other "whoa, i wonder what these two are up to?". then jen,
wanting her pager, screams at me "GIVE IT TO ME!!!!"
naturally the dirteaters thought she was talking about something else....
anyway i take her pager and set it on top of this filth-and-disease-riddled
shitter in one of the stalls. so she went in there and i shut the door
on her ass and she was trapped. then a security guard came in, and i booked.
not like she was afraid of anything.
BWAHAHAHA once we were in bob evans, trying to decide
on a dessert, and she wanted cobbler. there was blackberry and apple...
and she said "i don't know if i like the connotations of *black*berry
cobbler, i think i will have the more "american" apple cobbler:
it is the UberCobbler." always remember to order yer cobbler
"a la mod". hahaha that was so funny... don't get her wrong she
was just fuckin around....