Sex Kills
(Duncan/Melo)
(c) 1997
If you’re ever stuck in a B-Horror movie
There’s some things you ought to know
So listen to me closely
Or you won’t survive the show
Do not search the basement
Especially if the power’s gone out
And don’t trust a woman with fangs
Even if she starts to pout
Whatever you do don’t shower
When you’re in the house alone
Don’t bother trying to call for help
You know someone’s cut the phone
Chorus:
But most of all whatever you do
Don’t have sex I’m telling you
Even if you really want to screw
You’ll die, you’ll die, I’m telling you
You’ll die, you’ll die, if you wanna screw
You’ll die, you’ll die, you’ll die.
When it seems that you’ve killed the monster
Never check to see if it’s really dead
Don’t bother listening to your dying friend
‘Cause he’s finished before the important stuff is said.
Whatever you do don’t be a smart ass
‘Cause it will only get you killed
Never read a book on demon summoning
Even if it’s a professor’s life work fulfilled
If you find objects on a distant planet
That look like eggs, leave them alone
If one of your crew has a parasite
Just tell him he’s not going home.
Chorus
Never let your guard down
If the scary noise is just a cat
And if you’re running from a walking monster
It’ll catch up to you in seconds flat
And when the old man has a legend
Listen to what he has to say
And do the things he tells you
You’ll be sure to kill the monster that way.
Chorus