Sex Kills

(Duncan/Melo)

(c) 1997

If you’re ever stuck in a B-Horror movie

There’s some things you ought to know

So listen to me closely

Or you won’t survive the show

Do not search the basement

Especially if the power’s gone out

And don’t trust a woman with fangs

Even if she starts to pout

Whatever you do don’t shower

When you’re in the house alone

Don’t bother trying to call for help

You know someone’s cut the phone

Chorus:

But most of all whatever you do

Don’t have sex I’m telling you

Even if you really want to screw

You’ll die, you’ll die, I’m telling you

You’ll die, you’ll die, if you wanna screw

You’ll die, you’ll die, you’ll die.

When it seems that you’ve killed the monster

Never check to see if it’s really dead

Don’t bother listening to your dying friend

‘Cause he’s finished before the important stuff is said.

Whatever you do don’t be a smart ass

‘Cause it will only get you killed

Never read a book on demon summoning

Even if it’s a professor’s life work fulfilled

If you find objects on a distant planet

That look like eggs, leave them alone

If one of your crew has a parasite

Just tell him he’s not going home.

Chorus

Never let your guard down

If the scary noise is just a cat

And if you’re running from a walking monster

It’ll catch up to you in seconds flat

And when the old man has a legend

Listen to what he has to say

And do the things he tells you

You’ll be sure to kill the monster that way.

Chorus


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