You Know You're a Real MM Fan When...

well ok. when i'm at work i have a lot of time to listen to music, and lately i've been listening to a LOT of POAAF and the demos. i realized some things, so i wrote them down. give yourself one point for each answer, unless otherwise specified. oh, and all of this is basically taken from personal experience (like these are all things i realized i could do / have done because of MM) although some of them (obviously) are humorous only. enjoy.

you can sing along with the "white trash" stuttering-sample in C&S "white trash w-w-w-white trash..."
- extra point if you can do it right now without hearing the song.
- extra point if you can do it with the "burn" sample in Dogma
- extra point if you can do it with "burnitburnitburnitburnit..."

you bought another copy of POAAF/SLC/ACS because:
A: it is the discontinued version
B: "i didn't have it on [tape/CD] yet. i had it on [CD/tape] already, but i wanted another copy to see what the [tape/CD] liner looks like."
C: it has different color writing than your copy
D: it was on sale
E: cheap
F: it is a promo version (that is identical to the regular album you already had, sans sticker)
G: your tape snapped from overuse.
H: again.

even though you can't play any instruments worth a damn, if asked you can pick up any guitar and wail off the opening minute and a half of "lunchbox" as well as daisy.
- extra point if you can do the same with "brown bag."

while singing along, a sample comes up ("the great hoodoo!..."; "god is in... his holy temple...") and you don't miss a beat.

while singing along with the "god is in..." sample you slow down your voice and make it real deep.

you have bought a book because of a topic discussed by MM in a song or interview.
- extra point if you had to special order it.
- extra point if you got strange looks from the cashier when ordering it and/or buying it.
- extra point if you got strange looks from whoever answered the phone when the bookstore called and said "please tell little joey that his satanic bible is in and that we can hold it for two weeks."

you get mad when people call Mr. Manson "Marilyn," or when people refer to Mr. Manson when they should be including the rest of the band (praise for an album, etc; situations where the whole band should get credit.)

you know what demo your favorite version of [songname] is on.
- extra point if you have more than one copy of that demo.

while singing along to POAAF's "My Monkey" you sing "you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer" out of habit.
- extra point if you do that with "hand shake ring sign snake eye bite mine"
- two extra points if you say "next mother effer..."

you're disappointed when a new magazine prints an obscure picture you've already seen.
- extra point if you buy the magazine anyway.

you talk about friends on "the list" with friends/family who don't know what "the list" is.
- extra point if you're annoyed to have to describe it to them again.
- extra point if you've never met anyone you talk about.

you can only see little parts of you walls between all the MM posters.
- extra point if you just said "what walls?"

you have a prepared speech for the question: "eww. who's that marilyn chick? she's ugly."

you owe someone on the list [money/a tape] for a [demo / shirt / CD / sticker / magazine / air freshener / night light] you don't have yet.

OR

you have just sent someone [money/a tape] for one of these.
- extra point if you couldn't afford to send the [money/tape] because MM has it all.
- extra point if you haven't just sent someone money because you have everything already.

you have driven over 300 miles in seeing MM concerts OR have seen over five shows.
- extra point if you actually know how many miles you've driven in seeing MM concerts off the top of your head.
- extra point if a band member has waved at you with a flash of recognition on sight.
- extra point if they have had the same reaction to only the sound of your voice.

listening to a song/album brings back a memory of a hard/sad/happy time and/or memories of your first listen.

you use nicknames when referring to band members (rev., pogo, zimmy, etc.)

you know how to unscribe from the list.
- extra point if you got that.

you have over 25 bookmarks to manson-related sites on the internet.
- extra point if it includes the t-shirt list homepage (http://www.oocities.org/SunsetStrip/Stage/8448/) :)
- extra point if you have zero bookmarks because you have memorized all the addresses
- extra point if you only have a bookmark to grim jack's page because "it's the only page that matters." - but you should bookmark my page too. :)

you still sing "your" lyrics (lyrics as you heard them before you saw the liner notes) to songs instead of the "real" ones.
- extra point if yours make more sense.

you believe you have become a better/more understanding/more educated person because of MM's music and message.

you spent ~$22 on the english imports of TBP, for a net gain of TWO remixes at $11 a piece.

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add up all the points you got and keep it to yourself, because no one really cares. :) hope you enjoyed.

rev.infidel.
i have a boring job.