The Perfect Drug Conspiracy
JoiK
The other day, Saratina and I were on IRC discussing TPD. I like it and she
(being a cynical bitchbaby ;) hates it. Sara and I were laughing and trying
to be as silly as possible and eventually came up with a conspiracy theory
that caused her to beLIEve me mentally insane. Here's what I remember of it
(some of which I just added to fill in a few gaps):
Back in '94 when NiN and MM were touring together, Trent found himself going
prematurely bald. This embarrassed him tremendously and caused him to buy a
cheap hairpiece which fooled all but the most observant of his fans (i.e.
Sawa and I). Trent felt compelled to write a song about his newfound toupee
and even went so far as to make a video for his new creation, "The Perfect
Rug". The video was rather cheap however (it was based on him and William
Shatner going across America to different wig parlors to try on hairpieces)
and Trent quickly had all copies of it destroyed. The memory of his
purchase lingered (how could it not when he wore his hairpiece every day?)
and caused him to envy the lovely Pogo, who he saw could go about hairless
without fear of ridicule and still look beautiful. Trent began thinking
about Pogo constantly and re-wrote his song about his hairpiece to describe
the most potent substance on earth - Pogo's sweat (which can be swallowed or
injected to create an amazing "all-natural" high - "The Perfect Drug".)
Trent's Pogo obsession grew and he even went so far as to grow facial hair
(unheard of!), though he did not grow a goatee like Pogo's for fear that it
would give him away (also the reason that he did not remove his hairpiece.)
Pogo, being stoned out of his mind, never did realize Trent's love for him -
but a certain Reverend did. When poor little Brian Warner saw how his
all-powerful idol Trent had become a slave of passion to his mere
*keyboardist*, it disillusioned him and totally shattered his perception of
the world. As we well know, life-shattering events oftentimes cause people
to revert to happier, more innocent times in their lives. In Manson's case,
this would be the Spooky Kids days. During a concert near the area he was
born (another comforting memory), Manson sang his final song as the
Antichrist Superstar and collapsed into himself before the audience, a
fearful child once more. At this point everybody but Pogo left the stage...
and some well known characters entered - my beloved Daisy on guitar, sexxxy
Gidget on bass, and the object of Saratina's affections behind the drum kit.
Manson was a Spook once again and the band proceeded to play their greatest
show *ever*.
Some of you may scoff, saying that you find this hard to believe as you have
not heard of this happening. Well, the reason is that it has not happened
*yet*, but it will. Manson isn't the only one who can see into the future.
Reliable sources have told me that this series of events has already been
set in motion, but will not culminate until...
Valentine's Day. February 14,1997.
Now you see why Manson made such a big fuss about this concert?
(P.S. Please don't fwd this to the other list as some of them may actually
believe it. =)
