The following is a parody of Pee Wee's Play House; but the cast is now
a tad darker..... 

Transcribed from 1999.... ;) by dedbat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TrEnT ReZnOr'S PlAy HoUsE
ÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝÝ

theme music...

Opening shot
Interior shot of the playhouse
Drawn black curtains, broken leather couch in corner, chair from
“happiness in slavery” in front of window, lit candles cover most of
the empty space, GenieFish’s box on table, suspicious plant on window
sill, and Maise the dog (she’s stuffed.)

Trent
*bounds in the broken front door, smiles viciously, then sits with his
knees drawn to his chest in front of the camera.*
Hey little bastards! Guess what? Today’s a special day! You know why
you little fuckers? It’s because it’s my dog Maise’s birthday!!! 
*cut to shot of Trent kneeling in front of stuffed (dead) dog*
How’s my little puppy wuppie?!? Eat your birthday treat! Huh EAT IT!!
*shoves piece of cake into Maise’s muzzle*
Do you want some more food? Huh? Oh good!
*Trent pours more food into the dish in front of Maise. It’s
overflowing.*
Do you want to go for a run? Do you girl?
*Leans close to the dog’s mouth.*
Okay. Maybe later.
*Trent gets up and pats the dog on the head. It gets knocked over.*
Oh you want to sleep for a while? Okay. I think I’ll go talk to
GenieFish and learn the secret word.

Trippy music plays as Trent walks over to the genie’s box.

Trent
Hey, whoever is playing that music, fuck off! I’m not paying you to
be a smart ass!
*leans over to the Genie’s box. Knocks on the doors, which springs
open.*
Hello, are you up GenieFish?

Ginger
Yeah what?

Trent
It’s time for the secret word, *quietly* and if you don’t give us
one, I’ll have to throw a mic stand at your...

Ginger
Oh, understood.
*He blinks a couple of times. He’s caught off guard.*
You know, GenieFish is really tired this morning because he spent
most of the night partying. Now he has a hangover....

Trent
Did you hear that, kiddies? The secret word today is ‘hangover’!
Isn’t that a cool word?

Ginger
Can I go back to sleep?
*Trent slams the box shut before Ginger finishes.*

Trent
Look kiddies! It’s my underling, Mister GreenJeans, the dope fiend!
*Manson walks in the broken front door. He’s wearing green coveralls
and has the stripe on his chin. Plus he’s wearing a straw hat. He
pulls a ziplock bag from his pocket.*
Hello Mister GreenJeans! I see you have what I ordered.

Manson
Why yes. Yes I do. 
*He hands the bag to Trent, who immediately opens it.*

Trent
*Pulls a ‘shroom from the bag and pops it into his mouth.*
Mm-mm good.

Mrs. Brady
*Runs in the broken playhouse door, breathless.*
Mister GreenJeans!!!!! I need to talk to you......now...

Trent
Oh look, it’s Mister GreenJeans’ pusher, Mrs. Brady!

Manson
Did you sell all of the merchandise?

Mrs. Brady
Yes. I even went to the local park like you said.

Manson
I like to see them start young. Where’s the money?

Mrs. Brady
*Pulls a wad of bills from her pocket.*
This is most of it.....

Manson
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?

Mrs. Brady
Well, there was this stoned guy... he couldn’t exactly pay all of the
money up front... I fronted him till he could....

Manson
That’s coming out of your hide tonight!!

Mrs. Brady
But he was really stoned...and god did he have such a hangover...
*bells and sirens go off and the lights go out.*

Trent
*Holds a flashlight up to his face, right up in the camera.*
Mrs. Brady the drug whore said today’s secret word!! 
*smiles menacingly* We’ll be right back.

COMMERCIALS

Trent
Welcome back, bastards!!
*He looks threatingly at Manson.*

Manson
Uh, hi?

Trent
*the broken front door swings open*
Oh, look whose decided to stop by!! It’s Miss Twiggy, the local
transvestite!!
*Miss Twiggy does not appear*
I SAID, ‘Oh, look whose decided to drop by!’
*Twiggy is brutally shoved through the door*

Twiggy
*whines at whoever shoved him*
But I never agreed to do this!
Besides, I’m too depressed right now!
*someone yells at Twiggy through the door. He cowers.*
Well, if you hadn’t drawn out those lines, I wouldn’t be this way!! 
*Someone else snarls a comment*
Fine!

Trent
*sweetly* Hi Miss Twiggy.

Manson
Hey Twiggy. *glare from Trent* I mean, Miss Twiggy.

Twiggy
*snorts* Hi.
*folds arms across his chest and stands there.*

Trent
Anything you’d like to say, Miss Twiggy?
*Twiggy shakes his head ‘no’.*
*hisses* God Dammit! Say your line!!

Twiggy
No! I didn’t agree to this!

Manson
I’d like to interject something....

Trent
Are you sure you don’t have anything to say?

Twiggy
Yes. Yes, I’m sure.

Manson
You know, it’s kinda funny. Here I am,
standing in the same room with two guys, who
have both slept with...

Twiggy 
Don’t say it!! DON’T say it!!

Trent
Don’t fucking bring that up again!!

Manson
Ms. Courtney..
*Manson is interrupted by the banging open of the broken door. 
In walks Zim, severely drunk, a bottle of *red* wine in hand.*

Zim
Hey, how’s everybody?

Trent, Manson, Twiggy
SHUT UP, Zim!!
*Zim just cocks his head to one side, confused.*

Trent
Look Twiggy. You want to get outta here, do your line!

Twiggy
FINE. *in a sickingly sweet tone*
Oh Trent! Can I go with you to watch King Kartoon’s cartoon?

Trent
Since King Kartoon showed up early, *looks pointedly at Zimmy*
I guess he can come with US. *Twiggy just stands there, wishing 
he hadn’t done so much cocaine. Trent is forced to drag him
to the other side of the Playhouse.* Come along, King Kartoon!
*Zim stumbles after them.*

More trippy music starts to play....

Trent
DAMMIT! Whoever’s playing that is FIRED!!
DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!
*Fixes Twiggy in one spot. Pulls Zimmy into the shot.*
Okay, King Kartoon. What are we going to watch today?

Zim
*shrugs* I don’t know. *pulls a slug from the bottle*
You tell me. I was never told what we were going to watch.

Twiggy
*whines* Can I leave now??

Trent
*to Twiggy* NO!!
*To Zim* Why don’t you pick a video to watch?

Zim
Uh, how about ‘Tourniquet’? I look good in that one.
*takes another drink*

Trent
Sorry. Wrong answer.
*gets right up in the camera*
Here’s my video for ‘happiness in slavery’!!
ENJOY

Cut to ‘happiness in slavery’ video

Commercial Break

Shot: Trent, Manson, Twiggy, and Zim are now sitting on the broken
leather couch, smoking. Twiggy is curled up in a ball, obviously
wanting out of there. Trent is sulking, Manson is silent, and Zim is
talking, non stop.

Zim
So then, I said to Lori, how’s our cats? And she replied
that they were all being soooo cute today and that she
even videotaped it so I could see how cute they were.
Then she asked me when we were coming back to.....

Trent
We’re back! *Zim is still talking* Now’s the
special time we use to relax kiddies! 

Zim
And I said I wasn’t sure how Pogo had gotten
on the roof of the motel....

Trent
SHUT UP ZIM!!
*Zim slowly falls silent*
Anyway, as I was saying, this is
our ‘special time’. If you want to join us,
go look in your parents’ room....

Mrs. Brady
I found him!! The guy I fronted!!
*drags in Pogo threw the broken door*
*Manson jumps up*

Manson
My own bandmate owes me!!
Why didn’t you tell me who it was??

Pogo
*rocking back and forth sideways* 
What the fuck am I doing here?

Mrs. Brady
*whispers* Don’t you mean, the ‘neighborhood stoner’?
*she hints at the character Pogo is supposed to play*

Manson
You fucking know what I mean!!
Answe me!! Now!!

Pogo
*begins to stare pointedly at ceiling*

Trent
Well, fuckers, I guess that’s it for today. 
*there is a loud argument going on between Manson and Brady in the
background*
Until next Sunday, later bastards and bitches!!

Theme music begins to play, while Trent begins to destroy the set. Zim
manages to get up and help, throwing the wine bottle into the wall.
Manson and Brady are still arguing, Twiggy is moaning, and Pogo is
still rocking. Ginger, still in costume, wanders out onto the stage,
followed by several hookers. 

Credits


                    THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
written by Elizabeth (goÝhy bat) and Tara




==
		{{ goÝhy bat }}
        			
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