the fucking chicken

Please, please.. people.. Don't worry about me. Its ok, I was fine.. This was all a part of a joke that me and brian were playing on jeordie but it got way out of hand. See, here's what happened..

A long, long time ago, Jeordie's mom hung out with the ramones. They were such great guys. I remember clucking around clubs with them back in the 70's. Such a fine bunch of lads, I have no clue why the fuck they were friends with that lemmy guy.. I think a cow shit on his face and he forgot to wash it off or something, but anyhow...

So.. It was the ramones, Jeordie's mom, Jeordie, and me. I was running around jeordie's trailer (he's white trash don't ya know. The ugly motherfucker grew up in a trailer.. Never did learn a thing about manners.) so.. The ramones were talking to jeordie's mom, and one thing led to another.. and jeordie got kicked out of his house for a while..

So there he was, sitting on the stairs to the trailer, listening to all the interesting sounds coming from within, when I popped out from under the trailer and pecked his knee. Little jeordie was so surprised, that he up and shit his pants. Goddamn that boy could unleash a stinky one.. Heh.. his eyes got so big.. You just can't imagine..

Anyhow.. this was way back, when jeordie was 5 or 6.. So.. fast forward 12 or 13 years, and in walks brian. Some new kid with a silly accent. Says he's from Ohio, and he starts hanging out more and more with Jeordie. Well, eventually Mrs. White tells Brian the story of Jeordie shitting his pants, and she points me out to him. Heh.. That skinny yankee laughed hisself right onto the ground..

So.. anyhow.. Brian always teased jeordie about him shitting his pants. He even wrote some songs about it, played 'em in a band with jeordie called roog-n-bard or something.. I can't remember.. I'm pretty old for a chicken.. But my memory is still pretty good.

So.. as a special surprise, brian (he tried to get me to call him marilyn, I just clucked at him. Silly youngin) decided to take me to a show on their tour.. Just to fuck with jeordie you understand.

Now, they brought me out on stage, and there I sat.. What I saw really scared me. What the hell has jeordie done to himself? He looks like absolute shit.. Nappy hair, and some faggy dress.. I just don't understand these kids and their obsession with death. They're all going to hell...

So.. jeordie.. err.. twiggy.. decides to release me from the cage.. He steps up to the mic and says "kill the chicken, break his neck" and brian grabbed me and pulled me to safety.. At the after party, brian came up to me, and whispered into my ear "cluck, cluck, cluck motherfucker" so I just went off. Man, you should have seen jeordie's face..

But.. don't you kids worry any. I'm ok.. Sitting here at the computer, my beak is kinda sore from typing all this.. so I'm gonna go rest now.. I'll type to you folks later, give you some more insight into what those crazy kids used to do. I saw a good deal of it to.. And the stories that zucherfuhrer could tell you if those kids hadn't fried his mind with that LSD stuff.. Anyhow.. til next time

Cluck, and I am
The Chicken