They Saved Veggie's Brain
twiggy
IS VEGAN ALIVE OR WHAT PLESE TELL ME HE A DEAR SPOOKYKID.
Thessaly:
I hope this clears things up. This article was printed on the front page of
the Pensacola News Journal, Friday Nov. 29:
LOCAL BOY SHOT DEAD IN MUSIC STORE: Late Thursday evening at Blockbuster
Music on Palafox Street a 21-year-old Pensacola male by the name of Tim
"Vegan from Hell" Adkins was shot 13 times in the chest by an unknown
assailant. Reports from witnesses say that Adkins was greeting customers at
the door for the holiday shopping rush when he first encountered the man who
later shot him. Herb Rickels, the general manager of Blockbuster Music
describes what happened next: "The man appeared to be in a horrible mood.
Tim tried to give him one of our store sale flyers and the man refused to
take it. Tim, being his usual bubbly and perky self, was trying to convince
the man that he should take a look at the flyer when the man snapped at him,
yelling loudly that Tim should leave him 'the hell alone.' The man then
walked over to the Showtunes section and began browsing. Tim proceeded to
follow him, and began trying to tell him-- well, my employees told me he was
telling him that he shouldn't get so stressed out and that he betted that he
needed a hug. It was at that point that the man yelled very loudly 'leave
me the hell alone or I'll kill you, kid.' Undaunted, Tim proceeded to try
to hug the man and it was then that the man pulled out a gun and started
shooting Tim in the chest. Then he fled. It was horrible.' Police do not
know the identity of the man who shot Adkins at this time.
Other employees of the store report that Adkins, a photography
student at the University of West Florida and a former internet list
operator for a rock band called SpookyKids, is an unusually "peppy" young
man, and that this was not the first incident in which Adkins had been too
friendly to customers, making them angry. Jason Peel, who has worked with
Adkins for 2 months, reported that "Tim is just too damn nice for his own
good. He's had 14 registered complaints from customers, and 5 complaints
from co-workers, who said that he just plain bugged them to death. And I
think 8 of those complaints were from people who said Tim tried to hug them
in the store. We told him he was going to have to chill out, but he was on
some personal mission to make everyone as happy as he was.
It was sad."
A candlelight memorial service will be held at the Third Church of
the Nazarene on Navy Blvd. from 7-9pm, Dec. 2. In honor of the slain Adkins,
who was a vegan activist, the family is asking that everyone who attends not
wear leather. A vegetarian buffet donated by the local company Tofu-U will
be served after the memorial service.
aleck:
News from the conspiracy front:
A team of hand-picked "experts" have absconded with the brain of Tim
Adkins, aka "Veggie", and with the help of well-known Mad Scientist DJ
Blue, have managed to keep the brain alive in a jar. Unfortunately, the
only things it keeps communicating are the phrases "kisses hugs 'n' bugs"
and "[[laughs]]". In an effort to "break through" in communicating, they
have taken to putting the brain in a dress and putting bad eye-makeup on
it, but it just doesn't seem to be working.
angelynx:
Did they try putting it in a lasagna pan? Did they try putting
a mute, burly monster in a nearby closet for it to communicate with?
When one B-movie plot doesn't work, y'hafta know which to try next.
(Coming next: The Veggie from Planet Arous....)
