Liam's Creek: Episode #3: Feed Your Head With All the Things You Need When You're Hungry
Noel: (walks into his kicthen) I'm fookin' hungry. (opens up cabinets) Fookin' tofu?! Fookin' soy burgers!? Meg what is this shite? I'm gonna go fry up one of our farm animals if you don't buy some decent food.
Meg: Over my dead body! I love those animals; they're my life.
Noel: You could use their fur for a nice coat.
Meg: Hmmmm, let me sleep on it.
Noel: But I'm hungry now.
Meg: Well, if you don't like the food I buy, or rather, the food I tell the maid to buy, then it's up to you to get something else. You can stare at those cabinets and cry and complain all you want, but nothing is going to magically appear. So eat what we have or deal with it.
Noel: Oh, so you're blaming me? It's my fault because I'm hungry, is it?
Meg: Well, who else's would it be?
Noel: It's Liams!
Meg: Liam's?
Noel: Yes. He acts like too much of a star.
Meg: And that's why you're hungry?
Noel: Yes. Is that so hard to understand?
Meg: Well, yes, actually...
Noel: Damn it Meg. Damn it all to hell. I try and I try and I try and yet look, there's no good food in our house. How am I supposed to cope? How?! How does a man deal with the fact that his cabinets are filled with tofu, soy, and other yuppy foods? How do I handle this? I'm hungry, but all the food we have tastes gross. I'm going to starve to death. I feel faint. Get me a chair. Get me a chair!
Meg: Noel, you look pale!
Noel: And how is a man in my condition supposed to look?
Meg: Here, sit down.
Noel: The stress is building up and the hunger pains are unbearable!
Meg: Take a deep breath.
Noel: People just don't understand, Meg. They don't understand how stressful my life is. To be hungry and yet to have no good food in the house is something no person should have to go through.
Meg: Noel, I won't let you suffer alone. I'll run to the supermarket...
Noel: You know where it is?
Meg: Damn it! Where's that dang maid when we need her?!
Noel: Quick, check the refrigerator! I'm starting to blackout...
Meg: All I see is my low fat, veggie alternatives. Wait, there's a jar of pickles in the back. Will they do? They have some taste to them!
Noel: Yeah, okay, give them to me.
Meg: (hands Noel the pickle jar)
Noel: (struggles to open it) Damn these lids; they're impossible! It's no use. A muscleman couldn't open this!
Meg: Here Noel, let me see. (effortlessly opens the jar)
Noel: Man Meg, you're a moose!
Meg: Aw, you mean that, Noel?
Noel: I wouldn't say it if I didn't!
Meg: (hands Noel a pickle)
Noel: (as he bites into it the color restores to his face)
Meg: Noel, you're back! (Falls to the floor and hugs his feet).
Noel: We made it baby. We made it!
People just don't realize how tough Noel has it. I hope this episode serves as a reminder that rock stars have problems too!