Are you mad for it? Well, just how mad for it are you? I know that there are millions of oasis fans in the world, but some are just a little bit more "madferit" than others. Courtney Brooks, [an internet friend of mine who's mad for oasis], suggested that I put a section on my page where people can write in & say what they would do if they had the chance to meet oasis. So, this section of my page will be filled with the stories of obsessed oasis fans. -Which oasis member would you like to meet the most? -What would you do if you saw him walking down the street?
...Or maybe you've been lucky enough to actually meet oasis. If so, send me your stories & tell me what the lads are really like. (I want details!) -But, if you've never met them, send me your stories saying just how far you would go to meet them and what you would if you came face to face with a Gallagher (or anyone else from the band).
I guess I'll start the section off with a story of my own. I've never met anyone from oasis, but it'd be great to meet them. I would love to travel to England someday & maybe get their autographs. I'm completely mad for Liam, so I'd probably camp out on his lawn if I ever do make it to his London home. (Okay, that's an exaggeration..I would never really do that, but this is just a story.)
Anyway, here's my fictional story about meeting Liam "The King of Rock'n'roll". For those of you who are mentally challenged, fictional means that it ISN'T real.
I arrive at Liam's lovely home & sit in front of his house for hours, waiting for him to come outside. I figure he can't stay in his house forever. Finally, after hours of waiting, he & Patsy exit their house. I hop up & quickly fix my hair. As Liam & Patsy make their way across the lawn, I get out my pen & paper. Liam sees me staring up at him in awe, waiting for his autograph. Being the great guy that he is, he stops & signs my piece of paper. Patsy senses that I don't have the slightest interest in getting her autograph and she continues walking past me. -But, (Oops!), my foot slips & it slides into Patsy, knocking her feet out from under her. Liam rushes to help her up & notices that her face has been mangaled from hitting the concrete. I then tell Liam that I didn't mean to trip Patsy & he believes me. (Ha! Ha!) He gives me his autograph & now I'm off to Noel's house. -It's a good thing I like Meg. (Note: Since I wrote this I have matured slightly...very slightly. And, um, I really don't hate Patsy. I mean, if I had the chance to meet her I might decide that I hate her, but who knows, maybe she's not so bad. Maybe Meg is the evil Oasis wife! Or maybe they're both really cool. I don't know. But I no longer want to cause Patsy bodily harm and that's a step up, right? But for the purposes of humor I will continue to make fun of her, of course.)
Mail me your stories! sister_psychosis@hotmail.com
HERE'S A FICTIONAL AND FUNNY STORY SENT TO ME BY NICOLE FROM CANADA. ENJOY!
I was walking down the street when I saw Liam walk into a record store. So
I ran into a near by telephone booth, and magically changed into my
reporter-like outfit with my camera. I then walk over to Liam and say:
"Excuse me Mr. Gallagher, I am Nicole Capriotti, from the Hamilton
Spectator, you were supposed to do an interview with me for my paper." Liam
looks blankly at me and says: "I don't remember making an interview." I
reply: "You said you'd like to have an interview with me and a bootle of
gin and Patsy can just f..." "OH!!! That interview!! Yeah, you know what I
said I was just kidding!!" As you all know, Liam never made an interview
with me, but I made him think that he was stoned when he made it. So we
walked over to a park alone, so we won't be disturbed. He lights a
cigarette and I begin. "Would you like some Gin & Tonic?" Of course he says
yes. And after about a four dozen glasses I begin the interview when he is
nice and drunk.
"So Liam, how has marrying Patsy Kensit affected you as a person?"
"Well..." He says. " I haven't changed a bit. I only pretend that I have
changed so Patsy won't chain me up in the basement."
"Really? Does it piss you off that she does that?"
"Yah, but I'm madferit!! It's only bad when she takes away me fagans,
drugs, beer, and G & Ts."
"So where is she now?"
"Probably shopping somewhere. We got in another fight yesterday."
"What about?"
"She was mad when I slept with the maids again."
"Maids?"
"Yeah, our French maids Fifi and Vivi. She thinks manage-a-trois is
strange. But Patsy didn't mind it when she slept with me brothers. So she
threw me out, but I got a couple bottles of Gin and a case of beer. So I
lucked out!!"
He pauses for a moment while starring at tree.
"Hey!! You're cute, interview lady. Fancy goin' to that hotel over there
with me for a "chat"? Don't worry, no
one will reconize me with this beard."
For a while, I argued with him and said I didn't want to. (lying of course)
But finnaly gave in and went to the hotel for a "chat".
THE END
HERE'S ANOTHER COOL FICTIONAL STORY. THIS ONE IS ABOUT MEETING NOEL:
I would just die if I met Noel. It will never happen, but I have my theories on what would happen if I did.... 1) He falls in love with me on sight and vows and declares to never leave my side (yeah right!) 2) I tell him that John Lennon is God, and he falls in love with me.... 3) I say "Take me now!" 4) I give him the fingers so he beats me up and then I can sue him. and ultimately..... 5) I get his photo and autograph and make everyone die of jealousy so that there's only me and him left in the world.... Who says I live in a fantasy world?
Donnelle.
HERE'S A COOL STORY ABOUT MEETING LIAM [IT'S FICTIONAL TOO]:
Hello, we're Anya and Katrina and we think Liam is f***ing gorgeous. What we
would do if we met Liam? Okay.....
We would try and act cool about it, but probably look like twats and scream or
something. Anyway, we would like to meet him backstage at a concert, because we
don't want to have to meet bloody Patsy Kensit! I (Katrina) would probably be
pissed anyway so would be full of bravado, I would go up to him and say hello,
top gig, got a fag ? I would just chat with him until he got bored and went
away, and hopefully he wouldn't. I wouldn't bother getting an autograph, but
would ask for a kiss!
Liam is just so sexy that if I met him I would probably just scream and he
would think I was a right wanker!But if I could restrain myself for long enough
and be cool I would tell him I thought that Oasis were top and that I loved
them.Then I would start talking about how great John Lennon and The Beatles
were and ask if he would mind have his photo taken with me.This is the censored
version of what would actually happen if I had my way but I won't go into that!
HERE'S A LIAM FANTASY FROM TINA A.K.A "VALENTINE":
What would I do if I met Liam? Yes, Liam, not Noel, just Liam.
I'd marry him. And this is how I'd do it:
First of all, in my head (unfortunately ONLY in my head), he's just divorced Shitsy I mean Patsy, cos he got sick of being deprived of all the world1s fun and enjoyments (drinking etc...) for years. So he kicked her out of the house, and he1s been living alone for a couple of months enjoying his new freedom. (If he only knew that I will soon take that freedom ...*lol*)
So, me and my friend Daria are in this bar or pub or whatever, and we1re having grrreat fun, and then all of a sudden Liam and... well... let's say Robbie Williams pop in (no, I DO NOT have the hots for Robbie, it's my friend who does!!!) and they sit at the table next to us. First they seem not to pay attention to us at all, but we decided to ignore them as well, cos we didn1t wanna make idiots out of ourselves by screaming and weeping for an autograph. Daria was sitting with her back turned to them and I was sitting right across, so I could see every single move Liam made, still pretending not to notice them at all. After about half an hour, it seemed to me that he was glancing at me, time to time but I thought "no way". Then, he winked at me. Really, Really did!!! I looked back at him, raised one eyebrow like, asking him "What, who, me?!"
- Why don1t you gals come sit here with us, two lovelies like you shouldn't sit alone in a bar!- he said.
-Why do you want us to do that?- I asked back.
-Well, maybe we feel lonely, so, we1d like a company of two pretty gals, oh, go on, just fer a chat!
I paused for a second, I had a feeling he was joking or testing us or something.
-I know who you are. You think we1re gonna bite just cos you1re famous. - I decided to keep my...2pride2.
-Well, why don1t you come over here and try to discover whether we1re playing games with you or not?- he said.
Oh, he was just as sly as I thought. I thought it over fer a sec, and realized I couldn1t resist his charm anymore. I picked my glass and moved over to their table, while Daria was looking at me as though I was crazy. Ah, she1s always been shy. Still, she fallowed me. We shook hands, said our names, of course, the boys didn1t have to do the same. ;-) We stared talking, where we1re from, how old we are, blah blah. Me and Daria were burning with excitement, but weren1t showing it. (Playing hard to get or something) Our conversation wasn1t very interesting, so I decided to spice it up. (please excuse the expression ;-))
- Say, Liam, why, but WHY did you choose exactly me and Daria? Look at all those chicks around you!- I asked
-Maybe I liked you two- he said, smiling and gazing at me. I thought to myself definitely maybe, my dear.
-Really? And, who do you like better? - I wanted to be sure. He looked at me, then Daria, then back at me, evilly smiling.
-Well, I don1t want her. She looks too much like Justine Frishman. (That1s true! She really does!)
Even though my heart was gonna pop out of me chest, I remained cool, and smiled at him, on the break of laughter, though.
- So, you wanna say, you like ME better?
- Oh, you finally got it miss!- he said. I looked at Daria, but she was busy talking about her glorious dog with Robbie.
- And, what are you gonna do about that, Mr.Gallagher?- I curiously asked.
- Well, for the beginning, I1ll buy ya a drink, and the rest we1ll do spontaneously, will you cooperate, Miss?
-Try me out! - I said.
-Yeah, I was gonna do that. Will you let me try you out?
- You charmer!!! - I yelled at him.
- Yeah I am, ain1t I? - he said and I realized there was no more reason to hesitate. He ordered me another drink, moved his chair over to mine, put his arm around me, and gazing at my eyes asked - Say, you DO like me, don't you? Cos if you don1t, '1ll leave.
- Of course I like you Liam, you think I1d let you even put your arm around me if I didn1t? I1m not that cheap.
- I mean, cos you were showing so much resistance in the beginning. - he said.
- I just wanted to see if you liked ME! There was nothing else to say. He gently touched my cheek and turned my head over to him.
- Give us a kiss- he just whispered, and I was all his.
I was completely, fully and entirely charmed, and snoged him right away, discretely pinching my arm to see if this is really real. It was. We were kissing for quite a while, and when we stopped, we saw Robbie and Daria getting up and leaving us alone. I was gonna ask where they1re going, but Liam put his finger on my lips.
- They1re just leaving us alone. He won1t eat her up, I promise! Then we snogged a bit more for a while, and he was so gentle and kind, he was kissing my neck, and all....
- How bout we get outta here, I can't stand all the people looking at us he'e.
- And where would we go? - I asked, even though I knew the answer.
- I dunno, where do YOU wanna go? - he pretended discrete.
- Somewhere safe? - I answered...
- I know just the place like that! - He smiled at me.
- Where? - Curious me asked again.
- Take my hand and I1ll take you there.
That sounded like some verse form some Noel1s song, It was so... motiving? Yeah, motiving. I took his hand and he took me out, and then around the corner, where we caught he cab. Surprisingly, the driver didn't recognize him, (some old geezer). Not even the address! Well, we got out and he led me to this huge house, we came in, deactivating all the possible alarms. He led me to a huge living room, all white, and before I knew, poured me another drink.
- You don1t have to get me drunk to make out with me, Liam. - I said.
- Oh, you1ll get drunk?
- Yeah.
- Want something else?
- No, it1s fine, I1ll live without it. - I smiled.
- Ok. - he said, drinking out the drink he made me.
He sat next to me but I turned around and sat into his lap. We stared making out ... wow, MADLY! Hmm... there1s more, but this is an
OASIS-phantasy, not a sex -fantasy page, so, I guess this is where I should stop. Though, you all know what we did then.
Well... oh, yeah, he liked me so much that in a couple of years we got married and had loads of kids and called them Liam1 Liam2 Liam3 Liam4.... kidding. Still, he would be a nice person to marry, wouldn1t he?
Ohhh...wish it was real.....
HERE'S A TRUE STORY ABOUT A GIRL WHO MET LIAM WHILE ON A CLASS TRIP TO PARIS! (Thanx to Liam's Chic for sending it to me!.....her friend is the one who met Liam.)
The tour group was ordering lunch at a Mc Donalds. They were all standing in a big group to one side of the restaraunt when they saw this guy leaning against the wall near them, staring into space. They started whispering "Oh my God. It's Noel." "No it's not! It's Liam! It's Liam!" Which it was. They pretended not to know who he was and made a poor attempt at starting another conversation. Liam heard that they spoke English and went over to the group. This is the following conversation:
Liam- Are you from America?
Tour group- No.
Liam- England?
Tour- No.
L- Where then?
T- Australia.
L-Oh really? I was thinking of coming down there later in the year.
T- (Still doing a really crap job of pretending not to know who he was. Even though Liam had cottoned onto what they were doing.) Yeah, you should come down. The weather's really nice.
L- Yeah, it's always f--ing raining here.
A girl who I shall remain nameless then said- So where are you from? (Despite the fact that Liam was wearing a jacket with a Union Jack on it)
L- (looked at her as if she was mad, which she is) England. (Then there was a long pause and they didn't know what to say.
L- (pointing at the shirts which they were wearing. It said 'Food and Fashion Tour 1997') What's that mean?
T- Oh, it's for our school.
L- What do you do then? Eat food all day?
T- Pretty much. And go to fashion parades. That sort of stuff.
(During a long pause in the conversation, Liam walked off and started singing softly, like humming. The tour group couldn't quite make out what he was singing; but they reckon it was an Oasis song. He was trying to get their attention.)
After a while Liam's bodyguard or whoever, came up to Liam with a Mc Chicken (for all you Mc Donald's freaks) (Start eating those Mc Chickens!!!) And he gave it to Liam.
Bodyguard- Come on, you'll be late for your interview.
L- Oh, I hope it's not in one of those little rooms. There's always so f--ing hot and humid.
Then Liam walked off with the bodygurad. Just before he was about to leave he (liam) turned around and came back.
L- I'll see you around then. (and playfully slapped two of my friends, who were currently on either side of him, on the arm.) (Hard to explain) And then walked offf.
Oh my God! Can you believe it!?! Everyone in our school who was an
Oasis fan was ready to murder the tour group when they heard. I'm still
ready to murder my friend cos she keeps reminding me.
Anyway, it's all true so you better believe it- and if you don't,
then... I'll get my friend to tell Liam to go and sort you out... Hmm,
whatever.
Here's another true story sent to me by Jenny, from N.Y.:
This is not fictonal!!
My two good friends Jill and Gina were at a Radiohead concert when some
one said that they saw Liam in the bathroom. So they ran to the VIP
area and started to scream. Liam's bodyguard came over and said "You
better shut up or they won't come over" So they trying to control
themselves untill Noel came over. And Gina started telling him she was
going to marrying him. And he's saying " But I just got married!" Then
they asked him if Liam was there, he said ya. but then Alan came over
and put his arms around them!! And then suddenly Liam was infornt of
Jill , she put her hand on his shoulderes and SPUN HIM AROUND! ! She
screamed "Your The best your the best!!" And Liam kept going "I'm the
best I'm the best" shaking her!!! Isn't that fanastic!!!
Here's another TRUE story about meeting the Gallagher brothers. I'm starting to get jealous =) Thanks to Vicki for sending me this wonderful story!
*TRUE STORY FROM LONDON, ENGLAND*
I've met Noel, the Chief, *three* times, and Liam once. The first time I
met Noel was a couple of years ago. I knew that Noel, who is my favourite
band member, lived in St Johns Wood, at a house number 8, with a wooden
fence to the side of the door (I'd seen a journalist on the t.v. when
there was speculation that they had split up). So, with a vague idea of
what the house looked like, I dragged my sister round St Johns Wood for
ages. Eventually we gave up and I was disappointed. My sister and I were
hungry, so we went and got some food from the shop at the tube station. My
sister and I went to sit outside the tube station to eat our food, but
were put off by loads of people around, so my sister suggested that we
walk and find somewhere quieter. We walked round St Johns Wood, looking
for a bench. My sister joked "I don't know what I'd rather see...Noel
Gallagher or a bench!!!"...I laughed and we carried on walking. Then I
noticed down the end of a road a pub with some benches outside. So I said
to my sister - lets go down there - I'll go in the pub and buy us some
drinks, and we can sit outside in the sun. So off we went...The pub was on
the corner. When we got to the corner, I turned the corner and immediately
noticed over the road...Meg! I said "Oh my god, it's Meg!!!".My sister,
who is not as mad for Oasis as me, said "who's Meg???!!!" - "Noel's
girlfriend" I replied (since married, the lucky cow!!). We waked down the
path, staying on the other side of the road to the house. We were trying
to look inconspicuous...I was looking in the shop window, when my sister
said "Jesus!!!It's Noel!!!"...I spun round, and felt sick and wobbly with
delight when I saw Noel! By thw way, he looks ten times as sexy in real
life...I had brought with me my WTSMG? CD cover, just in case I saw him. I
had to beg my sister to go over as I daren't go over!! I was rooted to the
spot! After all it was NOEL!!! So she went over, and in the end I did, as
I thought the opportunity was too good. So I went over and he signed my CD
cover. I was seriously on cloud nine!!!
Since then he has moved to Belsize Park to a house he calls Supernova
Heights. I also
met Liam once, in St Johns Wood. Liam was *cool*
Here are some fictional stories sent to me by Heather. They're entertaining.......so ReAd ThEm!”
i'd go see [oasis] in concert and then afterwards hang out by the door to backstage...Noel would see me and say "hey, d'you wanna meet the boys?" and of COURSE i would say "yes" =) so he takes me by the hand (by which time i am shaking out of my shoes and Noel asks very sweetly "are you ok? you're shaking!")...we get to this dressing room and Oasis are all there, i get to hug all of them and get their autographs and we're all talking, especially Liam and I (Patsy doesn't exist in this story!!)... now, this story has a few endings...
1) we talk forever and then when i have to go home Liam asks me "d'you wanna go see the Jesus and Mary Chain tommorow night?" and so i accept and we go see the show and then go back to his apartment afterwards...hehe...i end up marrying him...
2) i am sitting on the couch next to Liam getting more and more relaxed (and drunk) and eventually fall asleep on his shoulder. then i wake up a couple of minutes later but pretend to be asleep cos Liam's quietly telling Noel "i like this one" (ha! as if!!) and puts his arm around me tighter...i end up marrying him...
OR this story...=) i meet Meg thru work and we become mates and she invites me over for dinner
and it's great fun, i get along with her and Noel really well...so we go over
to each other's houses for dinner a lot and then one night i'm a bit drunk and
i start telling Noel how much i love his brother...i don't notice the wicked
grin on his face...the next time i'm over at his house Liam is there, and he's
really sweet and funny (of course!), and then takes me outside to watch the
sunset...i'm really cold and i don't have a sweater so Liam gives me his and
puts his arms around me...i lean against him and he tips my head to kiss me,
tenderly...we hit it off brilliantly and i end up marrying him...LOL (are we
seeing a pattern?)
Here's a true story about the time Rachel almost met Liam:
it was february 22nd, 1998. oasis came to play in hong kong. it was the first time i was going to see them, and i had like, 3 dreams with oasis in them during the week before the concert. the gig was held at the hk convention center, and there was a hotel linked to it. before the gig i was looking for the washroom, and i walked past a cafe in the lobby. then, out of the corner of my eye i saw a man with shabby long brown hair, sunglasses and camouflage clothes on. it was LIAM!! he was with a bunch of guys (not sure if it was the rest of the band) they were sitting at a booth drinking beer, and i was standing there, only about 3 metres away from them, staring in shock. i had my be here now booklet with me, and i was pondering about whether or not i should go up to liam. he was sitting there sipping his beer, and i think he saw me. i was trembling all over, and i was too scared to go up to him because i was afraid he'd tell me to fuck off and everything. so i just kept walking. about 30 seconds later i changed my mind and decided to go meet him since it was a once in a lifetime chance, i went back and asked a waiter for a pen and went over to the booth. they were GONE. only empty beer cans were left (should have taken them, but there were ppl around, i didn't want to look like a garbage lady, but now that i think about it, i should have). i couldn't believe it. i was devastated. then i went to the gig, and i was so close to the stage...
i still hate myself now for not having the guts to go up to him. i cringe everytime i think about it. it's better not to have seen liam AT ALL than to have seen him and not gone up to meet him, really.