Restaurant Rivalry
The Scenario: It's New Year's Eve, and Liam and Patsy have decided to go out with Noel and Meg(--mistake #1). The couples cannot agree on anything, and that results in one hectic new year celebration.
LIAM: How do you feel about the fact that, already, it's 8 pm, and we haven't even left the house?
NOEL: I'm into it, me. But at the end of the day, I'll be tired of hearing you lot complain about not doing anything.
MEG: There's no rush. Noel and I didn't go out until very late last year.
PATSY: Oh yeah? Well, we're wasting valubale party time. Could we atleast have some champagne?
NOEL: There's a bottle over there...
LIAM: I like the way it's bubbling up. It's reminding me of the champagne we had last year. I like that, me. I want to get drunk. I want to be trashed...
MEG: Woah. Hang on a minute. That's not all that this holiday is about.
LIAM: It is.
MEG: You're on about a reputation, about getting pissed drunk. Getting drunk before we even go out to dinner is something that I'm not proud about.
LIAM: Well I am, la.
PATSY: Alright. Well if you don't wanna get drunk yet, why don't you go and get your things so we can leave? You're hungry, right? Let's go out to dinner.
NOEL: Okay, let's go. I want to go to that Italian restaurant down the road.
LIAM: I don't. I want Chinese food, me.
NOEL: Shut up, man! You think it's right to have Chinese food on New Year's Eve. Do you know what I say? I say, "Nah. You can have Chinese food when it's the Chinese New Year."
LIAM: I'm not up for Italian food, I'm just up for Chinese food. And what we'll do after that is we'll have a few drinks, right, 'cos I like drinking. I love it. I'm into it.
MEG: Why the heck don't we go to O'Brian's Irish Pub, then?
PATSY: Who's talking about the pub?
MEG: They're one of the best pubs in town. Or one of 'em.
PATSY: They're not. I had one good meal there.
MEG: Wouldn't it make the most sense to go there? We can have dinner, and have a few drinks afterwards at the bar. There's no sense in going to two places when we don't have to. Don't you think that's a pretty reasonable idea?
LIAM: Is it f***! I wish Patsy would come up with some good ideas once in a while!
PATSY: (Noticeably jealous) What? 'Cos she came up with one good idea! Because Meg came up with one good idea she's a great person? F*** off! Bullsh*t! Bullsh*t!
MEG: We're not gonna fight and argue all night. Are we? We're all family. (Exasperatedly) Why don't we all head on over to the pub now?
PATSY: 'Cos I don't want to. If I did, there's nothing would stop me.
LIAM: Why do you always have to go and make a scene, then? Why don't you just admit that Meg had a good idea? Put on your leopard skin, fur-lined coat, and c'mon to the pub with us!
PATSY: I don't want to do that. If I wanted to do it, I'd just go like that and do it and do it. But I don't want to do that. I'm not about that.
MEG: C'mon, woman. C'mon. You're getting into a state. You have far too many tantrums for a grown woman. Come the f*** on.
PATSY: The thing is, you're not a spokesman for us.
MEG: Are you?
PATSY: Yeah. I am.
MEG: You might be in your little world, but as far as I'm concerned, if I come up with a great idea, you should just admit it. Everyone else wants to go to the pub, and I don't see why you should refuse to go just because it wasn't your idea.
PATSY: Fine. You don't speak to me for the rest of the night though.
NOEL: You don't speak to my wife like that.
(Noel's chauffeur enters the house) ---CHAUFFEUR: Have you all decided where you would like to go?
PATSY: No.
MEG: We're going to the pub, Patsy.
CHAUFFEUR: What pub, where?
PATSY: Nowhere!
MEG: Well what are you trying to say then? You want us to sit here all night just because you don't want to go to a place that I chose? You like being stubborn. Admit it.
LIAM: Let's stop carrying on. Let's not talk about Patsy being stubborn. Let's just go to the pub and gt drunk. Let's go get drunk!
CHAUFFEUR: How often do you all plan to argue like this?
LIAM: All night.
NOEL: Hourly.
CHAUFFEUR: And how will you even manage to get Patsy to come along with you?
NOEL: I don't know, mate. Do you have any suggestions?
CHAUFFEUR: Yeah. ----Just don't bother going at all.
MEG: Why not?
CHAUFFEUR: (Menacingly) It's already midnight.