• Get a copy of the exam and run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got thesecret documents!!"

• Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud and debateyour answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOsure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk theinstructor is.

• Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

• On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer everyquestion. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds thatit conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

• Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh ofrelief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave thecountry" and run off.

• 15 minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very smallpieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you'rereally daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one.Repeat this process every 15 minutes.

• Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, andnothing else.

• Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam.

• Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame iton the person nearest to you.

• As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

• Every 5 minutes stand up, collect all your things, move to anotherseat, and continue with the exam.

• Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out,comment on how easy it was.

• Get the exam. 20 minutes into it, throw your papers down violently,scream out "Screw this!", and walk out triumphantly.

• Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. threaten the instructor thatwhether or not everyone's done, the whole class is leaving after one hour togo drink).

• Show up completlely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during theexam, you should start crying for Mommy).

• Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

• Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on awhite mask and yell "I'm here, the Phantom of the Opera" until they drag youaway.

• If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs that youcan possibly think of. Get Pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. Ifit is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

• Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

• Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Prayto it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

• During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs,anything you can reach.

• Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

• Walk in, get the exam, and sit down. About 5 minutes into it, loudly sayto the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to everylecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you?Where's the regular guy?"

• Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up.

• Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answerscompletely blacked out.

• Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tellhim/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my headwhen I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. Duh!"

• From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. When theyfinally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to theBridge on the River Kwai.

• After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question,ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

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