Dirk the ChimpMunkey
Dirk is not like you or me he is the most feeble brained, easy as it goes, you work while i watch and study you type of Discordian you could know. He doesn't look like much which is why I am composing an accurate picture of Dirk in my computer. Cause the only way to really capture the True essence of Dirk is to draw him. More info. will be provided as needed. Here is a look at Dirk's apllication form.

SECTION 1

I would like to join the Church of the Starry Wisdom2 in their crusade to enlighten the world about the ways of Eris Kallisti Discordia and how we can live together in peaceful harmony will one another.
  • ANOTHER ORGANIZATION=Paracheute Pants Anonymous
  • HOLY NAME=Dirk the ChimpMunkey
  • TITLES=Holyier than Thou, Postboredom Ignitus Alotus
  • MY EMAIL ADDRESSES=What's this for...?

    SECTION 2

    HISTORY=I don't recall ever being born. But I think I was created on a whim of thought from Edmund's acid trips. Cause one minute I was happily drifting in space when boom all of the sudden I was here on this ridiculous planet. I really have no purpose here but one day plan to be President of the Hair Club for Wimyn, that or I will just sit by Edmund's pool all day till I think of something better to do.

  • ORGANIZATION NAME=POPE
  • WARRANTS FOR MY ARREST=What
  • CRIMES I AM NOT GUILTY FOR=PseudoMale Fraud, Sects in Public and Yes Richard Kimble did attack my dog once when he was posing as a male male in Boise, Idaho. The crime for that, my Mexican Hairless got a ticket for indecent exposure.

    SECTION 3

    ANSWERED QUESTIONS=
  • 1) Drugs are illegal?!?
  • 2) I don't think that I drive.
  • 3) What kind of question is that to ask.
  • 4) I donndfkkhgjfj, Sorry what was the question, I fell asleep.
  • 5) I can't, I forgot how, My dog ate my homework.
  • Bonus: Eris has a middle name?

    SECTION 4

    ADDITIONAL INFO=Why would a non-prophet church need my credit card number, I can't comprehend this. I have a dog, that constantly say something about taco bell, my dog is a chuihauhau, mexican hairless. OTHER PEOPLE'S E-MAIL=I don't have any friends yet, would you like to be my freind.

    SECTION 5

  • I AM NOT NOR EVER WAS A CABBAGE
  • I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO
  • YES YOU DO ASK TOO MANY DAMN QUESTIONS