More Singles reviews with the lovable Brian, Saffron and Shaun

Chumbawamba. Tubthumping.

SR: What's this? o noooooooo.
BM: I have one thing to say to Chumbawamba and that's f*ck off back to your squat! Now! You can't go to the pub now without someone saying to you, "Do you want a vodka drink, or a whisky drink?" Then you hit them and you get barred. One of the most irritating records ever written.
Democract prevails and the CD in unceremoniously torn from the stereo to avoid imminent mass walkout.
S: Their sleeves are good.
BM: Yeah, they're disgusting. There's one with the baby half born, half in, half out.
S: Yea, so how can they go fron that to this and say, "We want to kill policemen," I just don't know.
BM: They're happy everytime a cop dies. i'm happy everytime a Chumbawamba dies.
SR: They'd be happy if someone was outside their parent's house, beating them to f*ck, wouldn't they? They'd call the f*cking police wouldn' they?

Sleeper. She's a Good Girl
note: I would just have soon left this out because we are all aware the Brian is not fond of Louise from Sleeper and I rather like her/Sleeper but who am I to stop all other anti-Sleepers from getting their enjoyment? I'm a good girl, me;) -website nancy "it" gal

SR: Sleeper? Is that Louise? O yea, she's great.
BM: But you have to sleep with her in order to be in her band.
SR: Yea?
BM: If you don't you get sacked. (note: actually, I think the only member of sleeper ever "asked to leave" was Louise's original bf in the band - website nancy gal)
SR: Can I not just give her a nosh?
BM: Give her a call now.
SR: No problem. I'll remix one of her records. For nosh.
BM: So you reckon that's all she's good for?
SR: No, I think she's a good singer, good songwriter. I actually like this tune. I don't see her as this strong feminine type or niothing, she just seems like a normal girl, man. Not that women aren't normally strong. They're f*cking harder than us.
BM: Hopefully they won't be around much longer. The world could really do without Sleeper.
SR: Maybe if she got an acoustic guitar and started looking, like, really ugly, then she'd get some respect.

2K. F*ck the Millenium.

SR: Didn't they burn a million quid? O, it's for the Liverpool dockers? Why didn't they just give the money to them?
BM: Because then it wouldn't have be an artistic statement.
SR: They could've just pretended to burn it, given it to some poor people and got the f*cking insurance money as well.
BM: (Defiantly) They're doing it because they can. I'm on their side definately.

The Verve. The Drugs Don't Work.

BM: They sound just like Embrace.
S: No! Embrace sound like the Verve.
BM: Until 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' came out we were the highest charting act on Hut Records.
S: (Consolingly)"Aaah."
BM: They took away the joy that I got everytime i went into the record company and said, "You have to treat me right, I'm you're highest charting act." I can't say that anymore.
SR: I wouldn't rave over this, but that album's good. 'Bittersweet Symphony' is mega.
BM: It kind of erminds me of 'How Deep is Your Love?' by the Bee Gees.
SR: I love the Bee Gees.

Suede. Saturday Night.

BM: It's your turn to be diplomatic Shaun.
SR: I've not heard the ablum but I don't like anything they've ever done. I don't f*cking like him. I f*cking hate him, in fact. But if it'sa good record it'sa good record. Is this a good record? No.
BM: Hmmmm. (under his breath) Cod Bowie. I think Brett's got a voice like mine or Bob Dylan's, that either irritates the hell out of you or you adore. And that's a good sign.

Fun Lovin' Criminals arrive to review singles....

Oasis. D'You Know What I Mean?

SR: Sounds like Oasis.
BM: No it sounds like Embrace! I'm kinda glad they aren't making another records until the new millenium. It's just a shame this century's going to end so soon. So unbelievably derivative. Frank Zappa said you have to be a tasteful thief and I truely believe that.
S: I thought the last album was much stronger than this one but I still think they're great.
SR: If I thought it was shit I'd say so. I don't give a f*ck about Liam or Noel, but I don't think it is. They may say a lot of stupid things but a lot of things they say are right on.

Next: Hans*n, Puff Daddy, Paul Weller, Elton John....