Dear All,

I am writing to you today to display to you the problems of consuming 
too much cheese and to express my view that all cheese should be 
outlawed as it is a dangerous substance.


Take Wallace and Gromit for instance, they like cheese, and look 
what they turned out like!!!!   DO YOU WANT TO BE A PLASTICINE 
MODEL??? 

French people eat it and look at them -  Do you WANT 
to be a frog??????

Cheese is made from gone off cows milk - if (for some really weird 
INSANE reason) you want some cheese - buy some milk and leave it for a 
year - FREE CHEESE!!!!!!!

A lot of people like eating cheese while drinking port.  For a start 
I have never seen the point of drinking a harbour, but never mind - if 
you are weird and like the taste of sea water - then why not have cheese 
and onion crisps with it instead - exactly the same but without the 
cheese - BLISS

If you are sensible and you find that salt water makes you thirsty 
 BUT you DO like cheese with your crackers - then 
simple - don't have it!!!!  I find that crackers without cheese are a 
lot better, they are a lot easier to pull (the cheese allways messes up 
my grip) and thus make a bigger bang - besides if you can pull them 
better you are more likely to get the hat, the present and (more 
importantly) the joke.

So cheese is not only bad for your health (unless you are a model or a 
frog) but it is also a pointless commodity.

For more information please contact:

- the Ecological Dutch 
Against Mouldy Milk 
(EDAM)

- the SToggy Institute against red  
LeisTer Or 
Nachos (STILTON)

Stay Cool Eat Ice

PS If you really miss the smell cheese, don't wash your feet for a year 
- you'll never miss it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!